You know, I think this thing might acutally stand half a chance of surviving, given the opportunity...

Last night I discovered that my original bike rout was taking me half the time. This morning, I doubled the distance and added a couple more hills. It was a good ride.

Ok, it's official, I am just not meant to have any kind of luck with owning technology. My camera appears to be well and truly fuckered. When I turn it on, all that happens is the LCD screen flashes on and off. If I connect it to the computer, the computer doesn't acknowledge that it's connected. The best part? All my warranty information was left in the closet of the bedroom I was living in at my uncle's place in Edmonton. And you know, I was sure I brought my computer warranty stuff with me because I wanted to get my computer serviced over the summer when I was home, and I cant find that either. Bloody fuck.


(a few minutes later)
Ok, good news. I called the store where I bought it, and I dont have to have the paperwork, they have all the info in the computer. So I'll go down tomorrow and let them have a look at it. Who knows, maybe it will in fact be completely fuckered, in which case, my warranty will allow me to get another camera with all the same features (even if it's more expensive) And this time, I'll make sure I get one with shake reduction. Who knows, maybe I'll upgrade. *sigh* I hate technology, some days...

(update, the next day)
I officially want to kill my camera. I took it down to Best Buy today. I handed it to the nice man at the Geek Squad desk. He turned it on and it worked fine. I want to kill my camera. This will happen again. I know it. This is the second time this has happened. I want to kill my camera.

I've been thinking, today, and I've come back to an old, unanswered question. Which is truely more accurate, they way we percieve ourselves, or the way others percieve us? Now, I'm just talking about your normal average person here, not the mass murderer that lived next door and everyone thought he was "such a nice man.." Sure, there's always boing to be exceptions, but there are exceptions to everything. 

How I wish I could get inside the head of some of those dearest to me. I mean, not because I want to know all their secrets. Gods know I dont, that would be an invasion. More because I wonder if the same kind of things go on in their head as go on in mine. 

My dear, sweet Rowan, for example. So much of the time, her and I see her so differently. To me, she's such a sweet, wonderful person. She thinks rather less of her self, as I'm sure I think rather less of -my- self than she does.

And this, this is where the question comes in. Which one of us is more accurate? The one who sees from the outside, and sees the effect that a person has on the world around them, and builds their image of a person based on that? Or ther person them selves, who can see nothing but from their own point of view? 

Neither opinion is un-biased, when you come right down to it. I dont know. I dont know. I dont even know why it's such an important question. But it is.

I suppose it doesnt help that my own view of self is often confused. Most days I feel that I'm a good person, true those few I call friend, etcetera, etcetera. But then, of course, there are the dark days. Does everyone have them? The days where I feel unworthy of any kind of friendship or companionship. The days I feel like I'm alone, no matter hw many of my 'friends' are around me. And I wonder again, which me is the truth here, because how can I be both? And I dont have an answer.

I will always have more questions than answers.

*chuckles* It never fails. I swear, every summer, the first day I get to spend any real time out side and enjoy the nice weather (currently 24 degrees celcius) I forget to wear sun screen and get a sun burn. Oh well, I had a great day bike riding around the city. Took pictures of baby geese, got an ECG done, checked how much it's going to cost me to get a new (good quality w/ spiral steel boning) corset... Yup, all in all, a good day. Now I just have to figure dinner out..

That was absolutely awesome! I timed my bike ride perfectly, so that the storm that has been rolling in all morning hit when I was about half way home. The wind and the rain felt absolutely fantastic. I'm a little bit soaked. *chuckles and grins* Wanna do it again!

Just another poem I havent read in years. I'd completely forgotten about this one.

Night Friends   By: S.J. Marks

What you taught me
     And how I remember it
     When I lie in the dark
I write on the cold trees.
I see what you see through the corner of my eyes.

Walking slowly
     We touch the empty silences
     That lie in wait, settling to slow
     Decay
We are here. These gray weathered branches
     Are facts

You meet me, your eyes, your lips, your yellow
     Hair blown among long grasses.
There you are.
This is the way it seems to happen

I am insane with words, with grief,
I am alone.
For two days now, the one sound inside my head
     Has been your name.




This is not how I feel right now, but it has been in the past. I thought I would share it, all the same. The other poem(?) makes me smile. This one has no happy memories. This one remembers only loss.

I must say, I quite like living close enough to work to come home for lunch.

Going out to Kananaskis today for the first time this spring! I dont think there will be any snow left up there, but I guess we'll see. Definitely be bringing the camera. *chuckles* It works so much better outside than in, unfortunately. Next camera will -definitely- have shake reduction.

The mountains are still all white. I stop and look at them every day at from the highest point of my bikeride. I love my home..

Wehee! I got the job! I start tomorrow morning at 8am sharp. Being only 10 minutes away from work is going to rock.

Well, the boredom of freedom has officially set in. Good thing I'm probably starting a job soon.

Weeheee! I might have a job at the clinic just down the road from me! *dances* That means I could ride my bike to and from work every day. It would take me less than 10 minutes to get to work and home. And it looks like I'm going to get the $12 I'm asking for too! I go meet the girls tomorrow after my Dr appointment. -Very- excited. They seemed really nice today when I dropped off my resume. And I guess I would be getting some large animal experience there too, probably at Spruce Meadows, since I cant get to Okatokes.. *crosses her fingers* Oh, this would be -so- awesome... Wish me luck!

Long up-hill climb on bike + headwind = tired legs. Good fun.

You know, it occured to me this afternoon, that if I'm going to be working at a clinic this summer, I'm going to have a lot less opportunity to dress up than I did working at the office. 

Hmm, I guess that means I'll have to have more of a social life so I can dress up when I go out then! *chuckles*

Where went the faith of a small child in happy endings to every story?

And now I have a smaller bike.

I'm having a hard time keeping track of the day of the week without a schedule to follow..