This really sucks. All summer, I was good. Less than a week back in Edmonton and back in school, and the nightmares are back, almost every night already. This is really not cool. I'm not even really stresses for pete's sake!
I'm listening to the wind in the trees as I'm getting ready for school. The sun isn't up yet, the birds haven't started singing. In a way, it reminds me of the second house I lived in, when I was about 14. There was a green belt right behind it, and, like here, my bedroom window faced it. I fell asleep many times to the sound of the wind in the leaves.
I think that, wherever you go, there is a piece of home, if you know how to see it.
Well, I just paid my tuition, and it's almost completely drained my bank account. I now have less than $100 in the bank. *sigh* Oh well, I got paid yesterday and that will cover my rent, and I still have $2000 comeing from my dad, so that will see me through the first few months, any how. Damn but I wish school wasnt so expensive!
Well, today was a bit rough, but it's all over now and all I have to do is move on from here. That's something to be thankfull for, at least.
Oh, and theoretically, my camera is fixed, so a new pic of that drawing should be showing up withing the next 24 hours, as well as perhaps a new photo of me, but only perhaps on that. I need a haircut.
Same thought train. Same story. Page seven, half way down.
If there is one Author I could come close to saying I idolize, it would be Charles deLint. This is the only author I would ever consider picking up a short story collection by. Usually short story collections just frustrate me. As soon as I start getting into the story, it ends. And there's not place I can continue reading it. Not like a series, short stories leave me wanting more, with nothing more to be had.
I picked up a short story collection by Mr deLint yesterday while I was out doing my running around. Not a planned thing. I was in the book store to return a book I had purchased some what by accident, thinking it was the third in a trilogy I had been reading, but upon reaching home, realized it was the third book in the trilogy that follows the one I'm reading currently. As always when in any book store, new or used, I checked the spot on the shelf where Charles deLint's books sit, and upon seeing one that was not yet a part of my collection, I of course felt the overwhelming need to purchase it. *chuckles* There is truely no other author that affects me this way. I've been in love with his works since the first one I borrowed from the public library, 11 years ago or perhaps more.
In any event, (yes, I -was- leading up to something) I really loved the first page of the first story in this collection, and I wanted to share somewhat of it with you. I wish, with all my heart, that I could write like this man. But my talent lies in other directions. The title of the story is Saskia
Hard to believe how quickly this summer has flown by. Only one more week at my job. I think I've learned almost as much over the summer as I learned in school last year, at least as far as practical application goes. Totally didnt get -any- of the reviewing I had planned done *sigh* Oh well.
I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to go back to Edmonton. I miss all the girls and well, not much holding me in Calgary at the moment, especially since my best friend is moving to Montreal at the end of the month. I really have to convince some of the girls to move up here.. *chuckles*
Looking forward to the week I'm going to be spending in Kelowna with my dad. Havent seen him since february. I cant believe he's giving me $4000 towards school. That's going to be a big help.
Definitely didnt get -nearly- as much art done this summer as I had planned, but, well, I enjoyed what I did during my days off just as much as I would have my art, I think. Perhaps I'll acutally have a bit of free time for art this year. They say the second year is a lot easier than the first. Here's hopeing that's true.
Another step towards being ready to move back to Edmonton successfully accomplished. All the boxes in the basement have been sorted through.
At this point I just want to be in Edmonton and getting on with things. The routine of school will be good for me, I think.
I dont understand. In the morning, I dont want to get up. But come night, I keep putting off going to bed. I dont understand.
And here's to productivity. My closet has a floor again, and the floor of my room is covered in piles of stuff for garbage, recycle, and the second hand store. Clean up one mess, make another.. Oh well, keeps one from thinking.
I need new music.
I wish I didnt miss him...
Wow, the things you find. I found the key to the locked drawer in my desk. I havent been able to open that drawer in literally years. It holds, among other things, all my journals from the time I was 13 till I guess probably 18 or 19. Going through that drawer is going to be a whole nother trip that I'm not sure I'm ready for right now.
I've spent much of my afternoon going through boxes in my basement. The primary reason for this was to find things that I need to take with me to Edmonton in a month for the apartment. I've certainly found a few boxes worth of that. I've also found a lot of stuff from my past that I had completely forgotten about. Everything from stuffed animals and odd ornaments, to things I had written on little pieces of paper.
I found this particular bit that I had written. It's not as true now as it was when I wrote it probably more than 7 years ago, but it suits today's events, none the less.
Well, it's going to be a quiet next two weeks around the house. Mom just left to fly to Manitoba to be with -her- mom for two weeks, because Gramma is very sick. The doctors say she has an infection somewhere, but they dont know where. I wonder it it's not systemic, in the blood. I hope not.
I was kind of wishing mom would go away for a while, but not for this reason. I hope Gramma will be ok. We're not really close, but I know that it will be very hard on mom when she goes. I'm sure I'll feel somthing too.. At least I hope so.
Thank goodness I have the cat. I dont think I could handle a completely empty house for two weeks.
I think my mom might be going on a date tonight. I'm intrigued. I also wish her all the best. I want very much for her to be happy.
Bought the soundtrack for Garden State today. Didnt think much of the movie, but love the soundtrack.
I feel so wired and neurotic right now. There's no point in going to bed because I wont be able to sleep. All of a sudden it seems like summer's almost over. One month from now I'll be moving my stuff from my uncle's into where I'll be living this year for school. Just a few weeks later, I'll be moving back to edmonton for another 8 months of school. Trying to organize when I'll be in kelowna, when I take the bus up to edmonton for one day to register, what my last day at the clinic will be, when I can manage to see Tam before I go... And my mother is still driving me nuts. I love her dearly, but some times... She gets the most ridiculous (wow, cant believe I spelled that right...) notions in her head, mis-interpreta
You know, I think this thing might acutally stand half a chance of surviving, given the opportunity...
Last night I discovered that my original bike rout was taking me half the time. This morning, I doubled the distance and added a couple more hills. It was a good ride.
Ok, it's official, I am just not meant to have any kind of luck with owning technology. My camera appears to be well and truly fuckered. When I turn it on, all that happens is the LCD screen flashes on and off. If I connect it to the computer, the computer doesn't acknowledge that it's connected. The best part? All my warranty information was left in the closet of the bedroom I was living in at my uncle's place in Edmonton. And you know, I was sure I brought my computer warranty stuff with me because I wanted to get my computer serviced over the summer when I was home, and I cant find that either. Bloody fuck.
(a few minutes later)
Ok, good news. I called the store where I bought it, and I dont have to have the paperwork, they have all the info in the computer. So I'll go down tomorrow and let them have a look at it. Who knows, maybe it will in fact be completely fuckered, in which case, my warranty will allow me to get another camera with all the same features (even if it's more expensive) And this time, I'll make sure I get one with shake reduction. Who knows, maybe I'll upgrade. *sigh* I hate technology, some days...
(update, the next day)
I officially want to kill my camera. I took it down to Best Buy today. I handed it to the nice man at the Geek Squad desk. He turned it on and it worked fine. I want to kill my camera. This will happen again. I know it. This is the second time this has happened. I want to kill my camera.