[Adaria_Moonlight]'s diary
Written about Monday 2007-10-15
Written: (6248 days ago)
I don't know exactly why, but it really feels as though so much of my future hangs on this summer. Maybe it's that I'm turning 25. Maybe it's that I'll finally be done school, and entering a whole new phase of my adult life. It just feels like it's going to be this big transition. Not necessarily bigger than anything I've gone through. Gods know, going from a stable home to the streets and back again was some pretty major transitioning. This feels big in a different way though. Some how more important. I have so many hopes and plans for my future... It kinda feels like this is where it's all going to begin, even though I know that's not true. I feel excited, I feel nervous... It's an odd feeling, and I'll be honest, I kinda hope it's one that goes away. My whole future simply can not hang on this one summer... it's not possible. Such an odd feeling. I've never felt like this before.
I'd really like to just have -fun- this summer, and not think about the future.
Written about Sunday 2007-10-07
Written: (6256 days ago)
Random wandering looking for pictures to use for a school project some how found me at a quiz on whether I was more left or right brain oriented. I get a chuckle out of these things and deciding how accurate I think they are. What do you think?
Angi, with your strong right hemispheric dominance and strong visual preference, you are very likely to fit into most people's stereotype of an artist. You tend to perceive the whole, respond to patterns, overlook differences and seek diversity. You deal with material randomly and intuitively, and you tend to find symbolism everywhere.
For you, categories are temporary, created and recreated as events unfold. Thus learning can be "unlearned" more readily when needed. This implies that you continuously "adapt" to new situations and find differences in situations that others may not notice. Your learning style is naturally dynamic and flexible yet not totally chaotic.
Organization may not be your forte and you are likely to perceive it at times as constricting while recognizing the benefits that come from structure. While capable of being logical, you respond to your own inner-directed
More than most other people, you are self-directed and skilled at moving easily from project to project.
Your visual preference implies that you are active and continuously seeking or processing. You tend not to categorize experiences, but rather simply have them and react to them, integrating it into the whole of your experience. Despite your seeming lack of organization, you are one of those people who can almost always know exactly where you put something and easily relocate it.
Your best learning style is to see materials and relationships as with charts and graphs and retain them easily. However, if asked questions, you may find your access blocked since the input mode is auditory and runs counter to your strengths. You can help yourself by drawing pictures while you take notes, to use your visual talents.
Overall you will do well in endeavors emphasizing the visual such as arts, fashions, or architecture.
Garr... I really don't feel like working on pharmacology right now, or any homework for that matter. *sigh* I'm so much less homework motivated this year than I was last year.. But the truth of the matter is I've really got nothing better to do while I wait for my ride to be done competencies..
I do dislike the fact that most of my friends on here live in such different time zones that we're not often on at the same time. It's a pain in the ass.
Yes, I'm complaining for the sake of complaining. I'm bored.
Today is a perfect fall day. I just got back from walking for groceries and I'm glad I decided to walk instead of ride my bike. It's cool, only about 8 degrees, so I was glad to have my fingerless gloves on, but the walk warms you and the cool air on your face feel wonderful. The sun is bright against the blue with just a few clouds, and walking over the creek, the leaves are a symphony of reds, oranges, yellows and greens. Soon it will be winter and all the color will be washed away, bleached white by the snow. I wish fall was not so short a season, because it's always been a happy one for me.
Written about Thursday 2007-09-20
Written: (6274 days ago)
Gotta love it, I just wrote a long text to my brother, then went to send it and realized I didnt have his # in my phone book.. *sigh*
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-18
Written: (6276 days ago)
It's amazing, some times, how a song from one's past can touch the heart...
Written about Monday 2007-09-17
Written: (6277 days ago)
*laughs* I'm window shopping for jewelery on Etsy (http://www.ets
It's been a bit of a fucked up day and I'm feeling rather out of sorts. Cant concentrate. Didn't get anything accomplished. It's fucking early but I think I'm going to go to bed. Sometimes nothing but sleep clears my mind. I hope I have more dreams like last night. They made me happy, even if they made me lonely...
On a side note, I'm completely addicted to swing dancing. I can not wait for the next open dance in October. I must find some where to take lessons once I'm back in Calgary..
I find my self, as of late, absolutely in love with the play of light and shadows on clouds. I'm spending hours staring at the sky.
I'm tired and I'll admit that I don't feel the least bit like working on school work right now. I would much rather have slept in, esp considering that I have no class till 1:15. I've been at school since 8 though, and it's now 11. I've been productive this entire time and now all i want to do is have a nap. *chuckles* Knowing me, I'll do just that in Dr.Blair's classes this afternoon. I almost feel bad, but i did warn him I'd be doing it again this year. That said, some of my best marks in first and second semester were in his classes. it hasn't even been two full weeks yet and I feel like all I ever do is study. Oh well, I had to know it was inevitable. Only one year left, after all. I think it's worth it. And thursday mornings will be well worth getting up early, to go work with horses all morning every week.
Yeah, as tired as I am and as little I feel like working on school stuff right now, I'm happy here. I love what I'm learning, without a doubt. I do miss not having to get up till 7 all summer though..
Well, while it's not quite the same as having my own place would be, I find I'm quite enjoying making the apartment that I'm sharing with one of my classmates into a home for the next 8 months. I'm definitely going to be happier here than I was at my Uncles. It's a really nice area too. Lots of trees and what not, which is of course very important to me. I'm slowly getting everything organized (thank gods I have a talent for that because we have a lot of stuff and it's not a very big place) both in my own personal space and in our shared space. Slowly, little by little, I'm liking this place more and more.
Written about Saturday 2007-09-01
Written: (6293 days ago)
This really sucks. All summer, I was good. Less than a week back in Edmonton and back in school, and the nightmares are back, almost every night already. This is really not cool. I'm not even really stresses for pete's sake!
I'm listening to the wind in the trees as I'm getting ready for school. The sun isn't up yet, the birds haven't started singing. In a way, it reminds me of the second house I lived in, when I was about 14. There was a green belt right behind it, and, like here, my bedroom window faced it. I fell asleep many times to the sound of the wind in the leaves.
I think that, wherever you go, there is a piece of home, if you know how to see it.
Well, I just paid my tuition, and it's almost completely drained my bank account. I now have less than $100 in the bank. *sigh* Oh well, I got paid yesterday and that will cover my rent, and I still have $2000 comeing from my dad, so that will see me through the first few months, any how. Damn but I wish school wasnt so expensive!
Written about Sunday 2007-08-05
Written: (6320 days ago)
Well, today was a bit rough, but it's all over now and all I have to do is move on from here. That's something to be thankfull for, at least.
Oh, and theoretically, my camera is fixed, so a new pic of that drawing should be showing up withing the next 24 hours, as well as perhaps a new photo of me, but only perhaps on that. I need a haircut.
Same thought train. Same story. Page seven, half way down.
It starts with a heartbeat, rhythm laid down, one-two, one-two, deep in your chest. It's not the pulse of every day life but something that runs more profound, a dreaming cadence, a secret drumming that you cant share at first, not with anyone and especially not with her. The melody and chordal patterns might come later, when you've first made contact, when you discover that you haven't made an utter fool of yourself and she might actually reciprocate what you feel, adding her own harmonies to the score tattooed across your heart.
For now, all you can do is repeat her name like a mantra.
I hope at least one of you reads this and goes, "wow, I want more" This man writes like I think. I wish I could better express myself.
For the record, Charles deLint writes urban fantasy. You don't really get that from these little snippets I've shared. Trust me when I say his work is captivating. I am forever drawn in by the first page, and not released till the last.
If there is one Author I could come close to saying I idolize, it would be Charles deLint. This is the only author I would ever consider picking up a short story collection by. Usually short story collections just frustrate me. As soon as I start getting into the story, it ends. And there's not place I can continue reading it. Not like a series, short stories leave me wanting more, with nothing more to be had.
I picked up a short story collection by Mr deLint yesterday while I was out doing my running around. Not a planned thing. I was in the book store to return a book I had purchased some what by accident, thinking it was the third in a trilogy I had been reading, but upon reaching home, realized it was the third book in the trilogy that follows the one I'm reading currently. As always when in any book store, new or used, I checked the spot on the shelf where Charles deLint's books sit, and upon seeing one that was not yet a part of my collection, I of course felt the overwhelming need to purchase it. *chuckles* There is truely no other author that affects me this way. I've been in love with his works since the first one I borrowed from the public library, 11 years ago or perhaps more.
In any event, (yes, I -was- leading up to something) I really loved the first page of the first story in this collection, and I wanted to share somewhat of it with you. I wish, with all my heart, that I could write like this man. But my talent lies in other directions. The title of the story is Saskia
I envy the music lovers hear.
I see them walking hand in hand, standing close to each other in a queue at a theater or subway station, heads touching while they sit on a park bench, and I ache to hear the song that plays between them: The stirring cords of romance's first bloom, the stately airs that whisper between a couple long in love. You can see it in the way they look at each other, the shared glances, the touch or a hand on an elbow, the smile that can only be so sweet for the one you love. You can almost hear it, if you listen close. Almost, but not quite, because the music belongs to them and all you can have of it is a vague echo that rises up from the bitter-sweet murmur and shuffle of your own memories, ragged shadows stirring restlessly, called to mind by some forgotten incident, remembered only in the late night, the early morning. Or in the happiness of others.
Hard to believe how quickly this summer has flown by. Only one more week at my job. I think I've learned almost as much over the summer as I learned in school last year, at least as far as practical application goes. Totally didnt get -any- of the reviewing I had planned done *sigh* Oh well.
I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to go back to Edmonton. I miss all the girls and well, not much holding me in Calgary at the moment, especially since my best friend is moving to Montreal at the end of the month. I really have to convince some of the girls to move up here.. *chuckles*
Looking forward to the week I'm going to be spending in Kelowna with my dad. Havent seen him since february. I cant believe he's giving me $4000 towards school. That's going to be a big help.
Definitely didnt get -nearly- as much art done this summer as I had planned, but, well, I enjoyed what I did during my days off just as much as I would have my art, I think. Perhaps I'll acutally have a bit of free time for art this year. They say the second year is a lot easier than the first. Here's hopeing that's true.
Another step towards being ready to move back to Edmonton successfully accomplished. All the boxes in the basement have been sorted through.
At this point I just want to be in Edmonton and getting on with things. The routine of school will be good for me, I think.
Written about Sunday 2007-07-29
Written: (6327 days ago)
I dont understand. In the morning, I dont want to get up. But come night, I keep putting off going to bed. I dont understand.
And here's to productivity. My closet has a floor again, and the floor of my room is covered in piles of stuff for garbage, recycle, and the second hand store. Clean up one mess, make another.. Oh well, keeps one from thinking.
I need new music.