[Ashurii]'s diary
Roflmao! -rolls.- Inside joke. XD
Seductively Tripping
Ashley tripped along roughly. She was on her way to meet her lover, Matt, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a fox hopping along, carrying a Cool Whip in its mouth.
Ashley was almost against the wall when she came across a smooth cake, lying alone on a clean plate. "That must be a treat from my beastly bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked cuddly, so she ate it.
It gave her the most dirty tingling sensation in her ass. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Matt.
When Matt came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Ashley cried softly.
"Your neck! And your hand!" Matt said. "They're sexy! Can't you feel it?"
Ashley felt her neck and her hand. They were indeed quite sexy. "Oh, no!" Ashley said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that smooth cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Matt said. "I got you a bottle. It must have been that kinky man who lives nearby. He acts a little gently, ever since he licked a cup."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Ashley sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Matt said huskily, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your neck is really lovely like that."
"Really?" Ashley dried his tears. Ashley kissed Matt and it was an entirely soft sensation, like tigers during mating season.
They spent the night having entirely soft sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
My favorite one. Lol. Shakespeare kicks ass. >_>
Ashley and Matt
by William Shakespeare
Enter Ashley
Matt appears above at a window
Ashley:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the cup, and Matt is the fox.
Arise, beastly fox, and lick the kinky Cool Whip.
See, how he leans his neck upon his hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that neck!
Matt:
O Ashley, Ashley! wherefore art thou Ashley?
What's in a name? That which we call an ass
By any other name would smell as cuddly
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like tigers during mating season"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove lovely.
Ashley:
Swain, by yonder kinky Cool Whip I swear
That tips against the wall the clean bottle--
Matt:
O, swear not by the Cool Whip, the soft Cool Whip,
That roughly changes in its dirty orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise dirty.
Sweet, smooth night! A thousand times smooth night!
Parting is such sexy sorrow,
That I shall say smooth night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Ashley:
Sleep dwell upon thy neck, peace in thy hand!
Would I were sleep and peace, so huskily to rest!
gently will I to my beastly ass's cell,
Its help to lick, and my cuddly ass to tell.
Thingy-ma-jigg
War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.
...
Tell you what. Free little piece of art from me to whoever can tell me which book these phrases are from. =D
-[Hito] has answered correctly. Anyone else?
I absolutely love this song! It's by the Romanian band, O-Zone. Here 'tis.
O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haa
Alo Salut sunt eu un haiduc
Si te rog iubirea mea primeste fericirea.
Alo alo sunt eu Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
x5
Refrain x2
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei
Nu ma nu ma iei nu ma nu ma nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
Te sun sa-ti spun ce simt acum
Alo iubirea mea sunt eu fericirea.
Alo alo sunt iarasi eu Picasso
Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
Refrain x2
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haa
x4
Refrain x2
English Translation:
Ma-ia-hii Ma-ia-huu Ma-ia-haa Ma-ia-ha-ha (x4)
Hello, hi, it's me, an outlaw,
and please, my love, accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I gave you a call and I'm neat,
But you must know I'm asking you nothing.
Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me of your eyes (x 2)
I gave you a call, to tell you what I feel now.
Hello, my love, it's me, happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I gave you a call and I'm neat
But you must know I'm asking you nothing.
Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me your eyes (x 2)
Ma-ia-hii Ma-ia-huu Ma-ia-haa Ma-ia-ha-ha (x 4)
Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me of your eyes (x 2)
Someday I'd like my ashes to be put in an urn so a cat can use me as a litter box when I fall off the mantle and my urn crashes upon the floor underneath it. Would that be nice? Mm.. Cat pee.
Just thought this was rather funny. :3
Waiting for everyone to just crash down on me and tell me I'm a fucking loser.
Somehow, I'm finding no support from the public, so... Yeah. Apparently all this shit was, indeed, started because I'm rude, immature, and preppish. Horrah...
-twirls her index finger, then sighs.-
-sighs heavily.- People, people. Why must you post degrading things to an innocent child like myself? Somehow, I get the feeling that maybe someone here on Elftown is posting this lame crap in my LJ. If that truly is the case, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIVEJOURNAL, YOU BITCH! I'm tired of your fucking shit. Jesus Christ. ><
Here are the posts, as follows:
Current mood: distressed
Roflmao.
Today was really awful.
I got out of bed really early because my mom was yelling at me.
I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.
I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?
Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.
I want to tell the world that I'm gay.
I am really annoyed with those assholes at _are_you_hotte
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! I'm so ugly. Don't look at my photos pleeeeeze.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with some naked photos of myself. (Not safe for work - teehee).
Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey
Why be so boring?
(Anonymous)
2004-11-03 06:51 (link) Select
There must be 20 livejournal entries with this exact same text - literally. If you agree with the sentiments expressed, why not do it in your own words? Or do you really think this entry is so great that it's worth repeating yet again? Just be yourself and speak your mind. If you're gay, say so proudly. If you're not, stop "being so gay".
Re: Why be so boring?
ashii_sama
2004-11-03 08:21 (link) Select
Wow, you say all that and there's no identity behind it. Calm down, dude. It was a joke. O_o As you can see, I don't write all my entries like that. As for being gay, I'm not really gay. I just thought it was somewhat humorous that that was an option. No, I don't have anything against gay people. I happen to have quite a few friends who are gay, so I wouldn't go around making fun of them. As well as for "being so gay", no one forced you to read this entry, much less this LiveJournal, so you might as well go crawl back under the damned rock you came from, O Nameless One. Tch.
Current mood: pissed off
W...t...f... o_o
You know, I got up this morning, just like everybody else, just to find some fucking moron decided to show their face in my LJ. Oh, and not to mention, not nicely. =) Yes, it may seem rather immature to go on about just one single flamer, but really. I thought the people in LJ were better than that. You'd think they'd just, you know, maybe laugh it off, or maybe respect people's views on things, and not think you were "gay" for making a joke, just one freaking joke for one single entry. What the fuck. I wonder if this person's left their mark on the other supposedly million people who have an "automatically made" entry in their journal. Just a curious thought, is all. If the stupid fucktard really gives a shit as to where I got it, I got it from my cousin, or otherwise my cousin's brother to be more exact. Well, considering I don't really know him that well since he lives all the way across the country from me. =)
By the way, do you fucking see me shitting in other people's journals about something I don't think is right or "gay"? No. So why do it to me. ...fucking assholes..
Randomness of the day: Bwehehee. People can just fucking die. ^_^
A joke? ROFLMAO indeed.
(Anonymous)
2004-11-04 10:08 (link) Select
You say you have gay friends. But I'd be willing to bet that you're one of those people who use the word "gay" to describe something that is wrong, bad or stupid.
Hypocrite?
The mature use profanity to emphasize. The immature use profanity as their language. Such language coming out of a young woman! I suspect that your on-line persona is nothing like your in-the-flesh persona. That is what I've discovered about people who use excessive profanity on-line.
Hypocrite!
You are trying too hard to be everything you are not, and failing miserably.
You're boring so I will give you what you want and stay out of your LJ.
There are far too many interesting ones to waste more time here.
Re: A joke? ROFLMAO indeed.
ashii_sama
2004-11-04 11:44 (link) Select
... Let me tell you something, lady--the only reason why I say lady is because your text gives me clues to the fact that you're a female, so I shall stick with 'lady.' I honestly do not know what possessed you to seek out my LJ, and then write degrading things in it over just one mere post, but it's getting rather old, even if it is over a span of just two days. The "immature" use of profanity is yesterday's post was created out of anger, not out of trying to be something or someone I'm not. I don't try to be popular, or cool, because I find that rather stupid, to try and be something you're not, because I'm better than that. People who are popular and know it turn out to be snobbish anyway, and I seriously dislike those kind of people.
And please tell me--actually, don't because I don't want to see your face in here again--why you're wasting your time posting your two cents in here when I'm so boring. Please. If there were truly a lot more interesting people for you to post your two cents about, in which I'm sure there are, then why did you stop and post in my LJ? To me, that seems rather stupid. Congratulation
P.S. The fact that you, again, posted without an identity makes it even more lame. I think you're afraid. -smirks.-
Oh, and if you'd like to post your two cents, then you may go to http://www.liv
Ayumi Hamasaki - A Song for XX
Why am I crying?
Why am I lost?
Why did I stop?
Please tell me
When will I grow up?
How long can I stay a child?
Where have I come running from?
Where am I running to?
I had no place to live. I couldn't find one.
I don't know if I could have any hope for the future.
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong to not cry."
I didn't want those words at all.
So I pretended not to understand.
Why are you laughing?
Why are you by my side?
Why are you leaving me?
Please tell me.
When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?
The sun is rising. I must go soon.
I can't stay in the same place forever.
You will someday be betrayed by your trust in people.
I thought it was the same as being rejected.
At the time I didn't have that kind of strength.
I definitely knew too much.
They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong not to cry."
The more people said things like that,
the more even laughing became agony.
I was born alone. I'll go on living alone.
I thought that surely that kind of life is appropriate.
Malice Mizer - Kyomu No Naka De No Yuugi (The Game Of Nothingness)
Caught between the crevice of delusion and reality
surge vague twine rip assault mind
through the shattered pieces of glass countless rays of light are reflected
In my ruined and dissoluted mind
I redicule nihility, I dissipate in solitary
Cold blood flows
My faded mind is flipping through
From yonder of darkness, pierced light awaken the past
Eternity of time is ticking away endlessly, Reminiscence
From yonder of time, the present tied to the past
With pieces of recollection, Reminiscence
From yonder of darkness, the broken pieces of recollection, Reminiscence
Eternity of time is ticking away endlessly, Reminiscence
Why am I here nowhere ?
Just stare at the end of the everlasting infinity
Enormous wandering shadows are crumbing
Time passes as your heart mingles with the flowing waters
From yonder of darkness, the broken pieces of recollection, Reminiscence
Eternity of time is ticking away endlessly, Reminiscence
Slimy hole bind detain insane sensual
surge vague twine assault mind
Crumbing forms are closing in towards me
I wish everything would collapse and scatter away
From yonder of darkness, pierced light, Reminiscence
Recollection, Reminiscence
Reminiscence
People in chat are fucking idiots. That's all I have to say.
All better now. Whee! ^^
Hm. So. All this mess is obviously my fault. And I really don't know how to fix it. Saying I'm sorry wouldn't really be the truth because I still hurt very much. -sighs.- GOD! ... -bashes head against keyboard, then rests it there.- Alex...forgive me... -sobs.-
Don't know what to say. I really just don't know. ... What went wrong, Alex? Why do you want me to hate you so? Why? -sighs.- I guess this is it. This is the end. The end. The absolute end...to our friendship. ... Because you're so wrapped up in your self-loathing self and suicidal thoughts... I tried to help you. I honestly did. But in the end, it amounted up to nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except more self-loathing. I hope you're happy. Good bye, Alex.
Dude...this really sucks ass... Hiei's leaving Elftown...agai
-sighs.-
Written about Tuesday 2004-03-16
Written: (7560 days ago)
People fucking suck. They think it's so funny and just OK to joke around about drugs and shit when it's a serious matter. How the hell... GOD! >_< o;warihg;wairp
-secludes self.-
I don't expect any of you losers to care what is written here today. So, on a lighter, more cheerful note, I've decided to join the marching band for my school next year. I bet you my band director will be just oh-so-thrilled
So...this is my first entry...and it says my diary is sad and empty. Ironically, it will stay sad. I...don't really know how to describe my feelings at the moment. I feel very alone. I haven't talked to my boyfriend in what seems like two weeks due to him having insomnia. -sighs.- I know this probably means nothing to anyone who happens to read this...and if it does, please pay no bother. I am merely just trying to comfort myself some. I am tired of feeling like I'm about to break down and cry... Sadly speaking, I have sometimes thought of breaking up with my beloved Matto-sama, but I could never do that, for I love him too much, and I've tried so hard to get him as my own. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me... I...I can't... I...will wait... -curls up into a ball, mumbling to herself.-