[Ktcm]'s diary

792431  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-15
Written: (6770 days ago)

ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS

"You Oughta Know"

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

790919  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-05-12
Written: (6773 days ago)

Evanescence - Solitude Lyrics

How many times have you told me you love her

As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth

How long have I stood here beside you

I live through you

You looked through me



Ooh, Solitude,

Still with me is only you

Ooh, Solitude,

I can't stay away from you



How many times have I done this to myself

How long will it take before I see

When will this hole in my heart be mended

Who now is left alone but me



Ooh, Solitude,

Forever me and forever you

Ooh, Solitude,

Only you, only true



Everyone leaves me stranded

Forgotten, abandoned, left behind

I can't stay here another night



Your secret admirer

Who could it be



Ooh, Can't you see

All along it was me

How can you be so blind

As to see right through me



And Ooh, Solitude,

Still with me is only you

Ooh, Solitude,

I can't stay away from you



Ooh, Solitude,

Forever me and forever you

Ooh, Solitude,

Only you, only true

783765  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-26
Written: (6789 days ago)

STABBING WESTWARD LYRICS

"I Remember"

Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we'd have tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future
But it's been so long
Since I have known the truth
These dreams we've left abandoned
And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
These memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading
But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry
But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still remember so much
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much

778116  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (6800 days ago)

STABBING WESTWARD LYRICS

"Shame"

I only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was
Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I?

I'm wondering 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to

I stare in this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant it like this
I never meant like this
no i never meant like this

I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

777425  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (6801 days ago)

NINE INCH NAILS LYRICS

"Something I Can Never Have"

I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

[Chorus:]
Come on tell me.
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing.
And I'm starting to scare myself.
You make this all go way.
You make this all go way.
I just want something.
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
Come on tell me

[chorus]

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

[chorus]

I just want something.
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have

Think I know what you meant.
That night on my bed.
Still picking at this scab
I wish you were dead.
You sweat and perry ellis.
Just stains on my sheets.

775341  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-10
Written: (6805 days ago)

Artist: Chester Bennington vs. Julien-K Lyrics
Song: Morning After Lyrics
Caught up against the wall again,
Tied my chain to the ball again,
It never seems to amaze my mind
So I just sleep, sleep, sleep,
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
Please don't...

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after

Cut and bruised by the fall again
Lick my wounds like a dog again
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel that I see, I see
Please let it be but don't wake me 'til the morning after

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after
I'm so tired, there has got to be an end
To the pain I feel when I'm awake and alive, alive, alive
Alive and I'm dreaming

Caught up against the wall again,
Tied my chain to the ball again,
It never seems to amaze my mind
So I just sleep, sleep, sleep,
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
Please don't...

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after

Wake me 'til the morning after
I'm so tired, there has got to be an end
To the pain I feel when I'm awake and alive, alive, alive
Alive and I'm dreaming...Caught up against the wall again,
Tied my chain to the ball again,
It never seems to amaze my mind
So I just sleep, sleep, sleep,
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
Please don't...

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after

Cut and bruised by the fall again
Lick my wounds like a dog again
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel that I see, I see
Please let it be but don't wake me 'til the morning after

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after
I'm so tired, there has got to be an end
To the pain I feel when I'm awake and alive, alive, alive
Alive and I'm dreaming

Caught up against the wall again,
Tied my chain to the ball again,
It never seems to amaze my mind
So I just sleep, sleep, sleep,
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
Please don't...

Wake me 'til the morning after
Wake me 'til the morning after

Wake me 'til the morning after
I'm so tired, there has got to be an end
To the pain I feel when I'm awake and alive, alive, alive
Alive and I'm dreaming...

775234  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-10
Written: (6805 days ago)

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS LYRICS

"Ohio Is For Lovers"

Hey there,
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
With these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
How are you when I'm gone?

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.
[X2]

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
My final breath is gone
So I can fall asleep tonight

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

719652  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-12-22
Written: (6914 days ago)

So here it is...

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

[chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

[chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

[chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

693455  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-11-05
Written: (6960 days ago)

Fleeting words on a page,
fading as soon as they're solid,
realities shifting,
as the sureal comes undone.
Words wont come,
stuck in your throat,
sold a voice for second of freedom,
and wasted it on dreams.

Kayliegh

645421  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (7044 days ago)

"Given the chance I'd lie again."

Tis true... just to see you smile, but anyways.



Do I still turn you on,
do you still think about our kiss,
because baby I know I do,
its something I can't help but miss.

Sometimes it drives me crazy,
knowing I can't hold you to me,
and let all thoughts drift away,
knowing you felt the same.

Am I the only one who lays up at night,
remembering those moments,
those experiences we shared,
knowing we bonded in such a way.

I know thinking about these things is stupid,
it only brings back more hurt,
but I'd give my everything,
to begin again from the start.

645006  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (7045 days ago)

I'd kiss you,
despite your taste being addictive,
but I'm afraid I'd fall into your eyes,
so deep... so cold...

I never though one could feel so loving,
when there isn't an ounce of warmth in them,

When you spoke those words seemed so right,
but that's because you knew the script,
just cast me as a disposable character,
with the ending you planned for me,

I never saw a lie so bold,
that sounded so true,
until I met the father of pain,
the writter of le désastre,
you.

643039  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-08-10
Written: (7047 days ago)

I don't think I want to die... but everythings so bleck... how do I live...

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

641898  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-08-08
Written: (7049 days ago)

I wanted you back,
forced to give up,
I screwed up too bad,
Never again.

Back to self doubting,
back on the old page,
did I even love you.

I can't explain why...
why if I don't it hurts,
why it is that I cried...
am I just wanting too much.

Maybe I'm too young,
maybe I'm too unstable.

None of it matters though...
for you are no longer that part...
you are no longer mine.

I'm learning to deal,
to be friends,
to relax,
to flirt.
I wont deny that the learning doesn't hurt.

I know that you're not mine,
I had wanted you but given the chance,
I wouldn't take you back.

I said I'd wait forever,
in a way I guess I mean I'd care forever.
Love?
I don't know.
No more waiting...

Promises were broken,
as are we...
and never again.

I'm not sure what else to say,
except,
even given the chance,
I'd never start this over,
I'd never have wanted this,
I wish...
it never happened...
and it will never happen again.

Given the chance to have you back...
though for some reason...
it hurt to know I'd say this...
and brings tears to my eyes...

I'd say no...
never again...
and I don't know why it drives me to tears...
why do I wish you were mine...
is this really love?

639562  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-08-05
Written: (7053 days ago)

I never listened to this song through till today, I'd change it annoyed... I dunno... some songs just do that to me... but I listened to it tonight...

Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all that’s left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Cause I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don’t cry on the outside anymore
Anymore

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

618851  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-09
Written: (7080 days ago)

What would you do if:
[1) I committed suicide:]
[2) I said I liked you:]
[3) I kissed you:]
[4) I lived next door to you:]
[5) I started smoking:]
[6) I stole something:]
[7) I was hospitalized:]
[8) I ran away from home:]
[9) I got into a fight and you weren't there]
what do you think of my:
[1) Personality:]
[2) Eyes:]
[3) Face:]
[4) Hair:]
[5) Clothes:]
[6) Mannerisms:]
general stuff:
[1) Who are you?]
[2) Are we friends?]
[3) When and how did we meet?]
[4) How have I affected you?]
[5) What do you think of me?]
[6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?]
[7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?]
[8) Do you love me?]
[9) Have I ever hurt you?]
[10) Would you hug me?]
[11) Would you kiss me?]
[12) Would you make love to me?]
[13) Would you marry me?]
[14) Emotionally, what stands out?]
[15) Do you wish I was cooler?]
[16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?]
[17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. ]
[18) Am I loveable?]
[19) How long have you known me?]
[20) Describe me in one word.]
[21) What was your first impression? ]
[22) Do you still think that way about me now?]
[23) What do you think my weakness is?]
[24) Do you think I'll get married?]
[25) What about me makes you happy?]
[26) What about me makes you sad?]
[27) What reminds you of me?]
[28) What's something you would change about me? ]
[29) How well do you know me? ]
[30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? ]
[31) Do you think I would kill someone? ]
[32) Are we close?]
[33) Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?]

601599  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-06-18
Written: (7101 days ago)

Hole - Doll Parts

I am doll eyes
Doll mouth, doll legs
I am doll arms, big veins, dog bait
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much it just turns to hate
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday, you will ache like I ache
Someday, you will ache like I ache

I am doll parts
Bad skin, doll heart
It stands for knife
For the rest of my life
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do, too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday, you will ache like I ache
Someday you will ache like I ache

556365  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-04-20
Written: (7160 days ago)

and yet again, fires of freezing natures are filling my insides, seconds ago I was on the verge of tears... my insides wrap up... next year is my last if I pass everything... and I don't know what I want to be... my options aren't open anymore... why... why do we all have to try to find what we want to do... when we're not even 20 yet... I'm not ready ~closes eyes tight~ ugh... I'm not ready to grow up... I'm a little kid at heart... even if I'm not out by next year... I'll have to pay my parent's to live here... no matter what... there's going to be changes... and I don't want my families hand to hold... but I have noone else... I sit here... crying... afraid... growing up... trying to figure out how I want to live my life... how does one plan ahead 10 years or so... when they don't know what they want to do in 5... in 2... in 1? I've already decided... I probably wont go to my own prom... noone to go with... and if I did have a girl... all those looks... I never really got along with anyone my own age... truthfully... I never... really fit in anywhere... I'm the loner... the third wheel... I hang out with younger kids... who aren't... really my friends... I just have nowhere else to go... I'm alone... I'm scared... I'm getting older... I can't stop... I'm scared... so scared...



Take my hand,
I'm not ready to grown up,
I've not yet found my place here,
and yet everyone's forcing me to move on,
I'm losing myself,
when I never even had a chance,
to know who I really am,
don't make me go,
the worlds too big,
and I feel so small,
a frantic ant,
too afraid to come out of my mound,
so alone and afraid of the unknown,
the crushing that I will feel,
tell me to be brave,
but I can't swallow this down,
try not to show it,
but the tears stream out of control,
can't keep this up,
paranoia that wont go away,
I need help,
I need me,
I need something solid,
I need to feel safe,
can you save me,
from my thoughts,
from my fears,
can you save me,
from myself...

 The logged in version 

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