ok, here it is.... I am in Canada now, Under the name Xander Cage... To all of you who may come looking for me, don't. Please. There are too many reasons why that isnt going to be a good idea, but one of them is that I have no place to put you when you show up. So don't. But please, email me or something... I can come to you.... just... yeah.... breakdown... i havent been myself lately, and I apologize to all of you who have had to suffer because of that... tis been too long, my dear, dear people... and to you who worry, I am ok, i promise... I just owe a bit of money to the wrong asshole... but its taken care of as of tomorrow.... just think of me..
Update: I have found a way out. I will be leaving soon. When I do, you will each be contacted online with various pieces of information based on where i land. I'm not going to guarrantee anything right now, as my ability to make promises about these things has been taken out of my hands. I am not at liberty to discuss how I'll be getting out, but suffice it to say that this man had to pay quite a lot of his money out. To top it off, I will be running under the name Xander Cage *nods to the movie XXX.*. I like it, it fits nd it sounds cool to boot. And its hard to forget.
Remember all, that I am able to take care of myself. All of you shoud email me at some point at dafreak182@yah
Everyone, I apologize for my extreme tardiness in getting back to you. I haven't been able to do a whole terrible lot. I now have a proofreading job, which consists of 12 hours a day worth of reading shitty scripts and plot ideas for movies and broadway plays. It isnt a great job, but it leaves me little in the way of a personal life. On the plus side, I will be able to do a lot more here in the next week than I have been able to do in quite a little bit... so yeah. I get paid $15.00 per hour, which is a hell of a pay raise from the type of money i make at my usual construction working... so yeah.
Please, all of you, do not worry... especially my certain someone... I miss you horribly, and I will return soon, i promise... my word is as good as gold, even if i return late, for i will ALWAYS return.
Auf wiedersehen!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is your friend Dave speaking...
For the last little bit that I haven't been here, I have been worried sick about you... I've been worried for myself as well.... I can't tell anyone where I am at, but let it be known that i miss you all horribly, and I will most likely not be on e.t. for awhile...
Because of certain political views to which i strictly adhere in, I am what most people would call a "left-wing liberal extremist." In other words, I stand for everything that our country disregards, such as real civil liberty, freedoms of speech, religion, etc... and the right to protest.
It is this belief that has gotten me in this mess i find myself wallowing in... The reason being, of course, that i truly feel that so-called "criminals" that never broke certain laws, should not be put in jail... well, i didnt go when I should have, and I have been running under false I.D. since july '05... THIS IS A FEDERAL CRIME!!! So now, like most, I am paying for my crime by not being able to do things like leave the country, hold down a decent job, etc, without people watching me like a crackhead watches his/her pipe.... as a result, I have had to g "underground", and I dont have access to the every day things that most of you take for granted, such as a car, a computer, and various other things....
So I, Dave, am faithfully wishing you all a fond and loving fare ye well, for at least another week or so while i get things back the way they should be..... look for your updates, folks, and please, dont worry... I'm a big boy, and I will take care of myself...
Jabberwocky, in Norwegian!!!!
Dromeparden
Zinken Hopp
Det lo°ystra. Lanke lågmælt sjor
hang darme frå det tarve lap.
So stige låg den rumse kor
i sovepaskens gap.
«For Dromeparden du deg akt,
min djerve son! Med ilske klo°r
fyk Starefuglen ut på jakt
i bygdene mot so°r.»
Sitt virpe sverd han spende fast
um midja som var mjuk og mjas.
Han kvilde under Burketrast
og leistene han las.
Og som han låg i bakkeheld,
ein Dromepard frå dolme skog
kom fregande med augeeld
og spuldra der han drog.
Fram kongsmenn! Fram med snipedov!
Det virpe-verje hogg og stakk.
Han skar det ramse hovud av,
og galdre-blodet drakk.
«Min gjæve son som slo i hel
ein Dromepard frå Råme-land!
Å, gledesdag! Å, nott so sæl
då du vart Snjoskens banemann!»
Det lo°ystra. Lanke lågmælt sjor
hang darme frå det tarve lap.
So stige låg den rumse kor
i sovepaskens gap.
Ten Ways College is Like Preschool
1. You cry for your mother.
2. You cross the street without looking for cars.
3. Snack time is a necessity.
4. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring
what you look like (because everyone else looks
just as stupid as you do).
5. You stay at home and play games with your friends.
6. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
7. You wear big mittens.
8. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.
9. You take naps.
10. You look forward to grilled cheese sandwhiches.
I watched City of Angels all the way through last night... And me being me, a sucker for romanticism, i heard this song near the end, and i couldnt help but like it, even though its so sad... here it is:
November Rain
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare
Act II, Scene II
Oberon: "What thou seest when thou dost wake,
Do it for thy true-love take,
Love and languish for his sake:
Be it ounce, or cat, or bear,
Pard, or boar with bristled hair,
In thy eye that shall appear
When thou wakest, it is thy dear:
Wake when some vile thing is near."
And on an even shittier note, I was mugged in the New York City Subway today... I decided to leave my knife at homem, which i never do, because i couldnt bring it where i was going... and i get robbed... NYPD, the slowest and shittiest police force in the nation, decided to take their sweet time, and the asshole got away.... and now, i'm fucked.... THANK YOU NYPD!!!! *kills them all*
Well, wide world... I had another vision... *looks awkwardly around* I'm getting tired of them already... It's the same girl, and another i know from the past, who is older, standing in front of an all encompassing black background... They are waering very modern clothes...The one i know, Named net for this vision, is a couple of inches shorter than me, with straight reddish black hair... she looks similar to the other, except her facial features are more sharp... The image twists, and they become one... There is both anger and hate, good and evil, all in one face, that never quite stays the same.... there is laughter, and the image splits, revealing both girls again, With Net saying that she "sees all things and more, boy..." and as the vision fades, she contiues to laugh evilly... There is a very strong sense that both are bound together, and a sense of hatred so deep I cannot begin to understand its reason for even being.....
I had an interesting vision last night.... I spent 5 hours running around, desperately searching for a net connection so i could write it down... forgetting the pen and pocket notebook i keep for such things... I was at an accupuncture thingie yesterday (a few hours later i did yoga!!!! :P), and I was deep in meditation... my head looked like a porcupine, and I was sipping Chai tea when i decided to meditate... Now, I keep pictures of my more important friends here on ET, mainly because I like to... I keep them in my wallet, so I can symbolically carry you all around with me... Well, a certain photo was pulled out, and I meditated with it placed in the third eye location *for those of you who dont know, its the portion right between, and directly above, the eyebrows... here is, in as much detail as i can give without telling you the person's name, my vision:
"Si le monde n'était pas aussi fatigué que ceux qui gouverne il semble être, alors peut-être ce monde serait un meilleur endroit..."
And for the non-french speaking/readi
English: "If the world was not as weary as those who rule it seem to be, then perhaps this world would be a better place."
En Español: "Si el mundo no era tan fatigado como los que lo gobiernan parece ser, entonces quizás este mundo sería un mejor lugar."
if it were true...
"There's another world
inside of me
that you may never see...
There's secrets in
this life that I cant hide..."
hehe....
"So hold me when I'm near,
Right me when I'm wrong,
Hold me when I'm scared,
And love me when I'm gone."
haha....
"I'll never let you down,
even if i could,
I'd give up everything
If only for your good (i think thats how it goes)
So hold me when I'm near,
Right me when I'm wrong...
Love me when I'm scared,
I won't always be there,
So love me when I'm gooooooone....
I love that song, i just cant remember the title... or all the lyrics, apparently...
One of the most grave injustices ever visited upon mankind by the Gods was the power to take another's life, especially our own.
You see, Suicide is something the person doing it doesn't realise hurts people more than he/she ever hurt... I lost my brother Ben, who was 19 at the time, in 1999... And no one knows exactly why he did it. He had so much potential, and so many things going for him... He was handsome, lucky with women... talented with regards to his martial arts, guitar, and poetry.... He was intelligent, and never failed at anything he gave an honest effort into doing...
So why would he kill himself? Only the Gods and Ben know, and no one is telling... But the point I make here today is that pain that my family, and all of Ben's friends (he had many, you know) felt at his death... it will never fade... We get no release from it... Only hurt...
And so it is with the family and friends of every suicide and murder victim, because it was a life ended before its time... and who would like to see a loved one die before it's their time??? No one.
Where there is love,
there is pain.
Where there is an obstacle,
there is an opening.
Where there is sadness,
there is joy.
Where there's a man,
there's a little boy...
I cry myself to sleep at night
wondering if i'll wake up...
Don't know if it'll be alright...
Cuz everything is so fucked up...
Where there is love,
there is pain.
Where there is an obstacle,
there is an opening.
Where there is sadness,
there is joy.
Where there's a man,
there's a little boy...
Trippin cuz I don't give a damn,
about the things you said to me...
Wondering how it got so weird here...
And how i went so crazy....
Where there is love,
there is pain.
Where there is an obstacle,
there is an opening.
Where there is sadness,
there is joy.
Where there's a man,
there's a little boy...
-Looking for help on finishing it.. let me know what you think-
Dreamer
Gazing through the window at the world outside
Wondering will mother earth survive
Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her sometime
After all there's only just the two of us
And here we are still fighting for our lives
Watching all of history repeat itself
Time after time
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
I watch the sun go down like everyone of us
I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign
A better place for those Who will come after us ...
This time
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away oh yeah
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
Your higher power may be God or Jesus Christ
It doesn't really matter much to me
Without each others help there ain't no hope for us
I'm living in a dream of fantasy
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
If only we could all just find serenity
It would be nice if we could live as one
When will all this anger, hate and biggotry ...
Be gone?
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away
Today
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
Okay
I'm just a dreamer
Who's searching for the way
Today
I'm just a dreamer
Dreaming my life away
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah