Why can't Monty Python and the Holy Grail be on HBO on demand!

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEVERE: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they? Do they hurt?
BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she, is made, of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of
wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch! A duck! A duck!
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
BEDEVERE: My liege!
ARTHUR: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot,
and join us at the Round Table?
BEDEVERE: My liege! I would be honored.
ARTHUR: What is your name?
BEDEVERE: Bedevere, my leige.
ARTHUR: Then I dub you Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table.
[Narrative Interlude]
NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King
Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the
Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the
Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of
Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon
Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together
they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold
throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table.

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Robin.... So each of the knights
went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark
forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.
MINSTREL (singing):
Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis...
ROBIN: That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.
Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
WOMAN: Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. Now I've dropped my
mud.
ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou?
MINSTREL (singing): He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who--
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody really, I'm j-just um, just
passing through.
ALL HEADS: What do you want?
MINSTREL (singing): To fight, and--
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really -- I, uh,
j-j-ust to um, just to p-pass through good Sir knight.
ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not!
ROBIN: Ah. W-well, actually I am a Knight of the Round Table.
ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table?
ROBIN: I am.
LEFT HEAD: In that case I shall have to kill you.
MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I?
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think?
LEFT HEAD: I think kill him.
RIGHT HEAD: Well let's be nice to him.
MIDDLE HEAD: Oh shut up.
LEFT HEAD: Perhaps-
MIDDLE HEAD: And you.
LEFT HEAD: Oh quick get the sword out I want to cut his head off!
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off!
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favor!
LEFT HEAD: What?
RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time.
MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky, you're not next to him.
LEFT HEAD: What do you mean?
MIDDLE HEAD: You snore.
LEFT HEAD: Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well its only because you don't brush my teeth.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.
LEFT HEAD: All right all right all right we'll kill him first
and then have tea and biscuits.
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, but not biscuits.
LEFT HEAD: All right all right not biscuits, but lets kill him
anyway.
ALL HEADS: Right!
LEFT HEAD: He buggered off.
RIGHT HEAD: So he has, he's scampered.
MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir Robin ran away
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away
ROBIN: I didn't!
MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about
ROBIN: I didn't!
MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
ROBIN: I never did!
MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat
ROBIN: Oh, lie!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin
ROBIN: I never!

[battle sounds]
[Black Knight defeats a worthless-piece-of-crap-knight]
ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to
join me in my Court of Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
[HAH]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[HAH]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite
your legs off!

Ok i just read the book Jurrasic Park. It was the best book i have ever read but i warn to people. it is much different then the movie and much more descriptive. The lawyer doesent die! The island gets blown up Dr. Hammond dies Ian Malcom dies Mr. Arnold dies Dr. Wu dies. And the fat guy dies too. But Muldoon doesent die.

The Gamecube shrine is open!

I think i have found an even harder game then Lord of the Rings: The Third Age. It is X-Men Legends. I got it for my birthday. I'm in that part were your in the snowy place in alaska. After you do the war room thing the first time if you do it any other times. and i have destroid only 2/5 generaters and i can't find anymore of them!