[♥Tc VanDeVal Tc♥]'s diary
I miss the old days just sitting looking at the pond, haven a drink taking a smoke. every day was new and eventful. those that came there to stay all day, some came and whent like the passing wind. others I saw diffrently when it was night. it wasnt me that brang every one together, nor did I try to stop the fall out. we all had our lone time and our chances, I missed a few and that is that.
Written about Friday 2006-12-22
Written: (6545 days ago)
time
time is what we have but never enough.
it is always moveing forward.
moving so fast we forget it is even there.
ever constent in its way.
memories
some have have there life wrighten in a book of their mind.
my mind is always balnk
never remebering what was said nor what is done.
for the day before was never there.
what i have is the second i live in, for when i die i have no thought of what was before.
i only know what to do now, not knowing if i done it before
my mind is clear, memories are there but like an old moire
my mind sinks to the bottom, over laping what was before it.
time is some thing we canyt get enough of, we wasit it like we have all of it, but in the end we had none of it it has us. time fades or minds, it destorys towns, it has no forgiveness nor any mericey.
....times up now.
Untitled
What you see from me, is nice and kind to thee.
You do not know the demon inside me.
He rages war, destroys all that I know.
Every day the battle wages inside.
Now I hold him in chains that are tight.
He will wait till time is right.
When I am weary, tired of all night
.
Nice I may be, kind as one can see.
In these chains he waits.
In the bars, behind the brick.
The demon inside waits to be free.
All he wants is to destroy.
Has no mercy, nor care for what is there.
The battle we wage is every day.
Constant war inside me.
The angel of me is what you see.
Then you don’t know the demon inside me.
I try to be nice
But really I am not.
Inside me is a demon waiting to get out.
He waits in silence when the time is right.
Break those chains that held him tight.
To remove all the things that is light.
I’m sitting there looking at the floor.
I see these tiles, meaningless to anyone else
But what I see I really can’t say.
As I write this I see their images.
Staring at me, looking to me, devouring each other.
What they show is the war inside me.
The demons I have the angels I save.
Their faces so clear, their expressions so real.
Each time a new feeling I see.
For some are sad, unhappy with what they are.
Many have anger for what they have done.
Few have forgiveness for the others that there.
For every second they appear moving across the floor.
From tile to tile showing this war, watching this movie nothing I can do.
I cannot intervene. For this was already done.
I can’t change who I was, but I can see who is winning.
All I can do is hold the balance between the two.
For this is a war that will never be over.
got off somes page thought it was funny, fill in and send to me if you want, or change a few things if you need to.
I _____ VanDeVal
VanDeVal has _____ for me.
VanDeVal needs ______.
I want to _____ VanDeVal.
VanDeVal can ______.
Someday VanDeVal will _______.
Me and VanDeVal havn't _______.
I dont know about VanDeVal is _____.
VanDeVal would _______ for me.
VanDeVal can be _______.
VanDeVal is always _______.
I think VanDeVal could _______.
I think VanDeVal should _________.
I bet VanDeVal is thinking about _______.
I bet VanDeVal is doing _______.
VanDeVal makes me want to _______.
If I could spend the day with VanDeVal, i'd __________.
I'd ______ for VanDeVal.
The song _____ by _____ reminds me of VanDeVal.
I want to give VanDeVal a ________.
__________ reminds me of VanDeVal.
VanDeVal is the _______.
I am a _______ to VanDeVal.
If I didn't know VanDeVal ______.
I know _____ about VanDeVal.
VanDeVal knows ___________ about me.
If I could ask VanDeVal, I would ask _______.
reviseing done.
Tc's Personality Report
Relaxed 
Apprehensive
Self-Doubt Confidence
Safety-Seeking 
Risk-Taking
Internal Experience 
External Appearance
How You Approach Life
Like other Lethal Weapons, you are remarkable for your unbridled passion and energy. You also have a number of driving forces within you that make you complex.
On the one hand, you are unusually open to new experiences. You thrive in new environments and demonstrate a particularly keen sense of observation about the things around you. You are an observer, but one who can quickly process information and store it for future reference — even if used out of context. This skill adds to your uncanny ability to come up with new ideas. You are able to draw on past experiences and plug them into the situation at hand. For that reason, people look to you for leadership and fresh approaches to problems in their path.
You also have a thirst for adventure — whether satisfying it through physical activities or through embarking on risk-filled business ventures. You are smart, slick and have been known to break intellectual rules, which is how you've managed to remain such an innovative thinker over the years. Old patterns of behavior and predictable routines bore you. There's not enough energy or drive in them to satisfy your quick mind.
You're open-minded, enthusiastic, and popular with just about everyone you meet. Your charisma shines through, even if sometimes you secretly feel overwhelmed by situations and worry more than you have to. The funny thing is, no one else really notices. People naturally rally around you as a leader.
You're motivated and serious, and you always jump at the chance to take on a new project. Innovation and abstract thinking are your strengths. But sometimes you'd rather just work on an independent project so you can take advantage of the perfect opportunity before the moment passes.
You've already shown the world how strong you are, Lethal Weapon. So get out there and dig into the next, great project.
Your areas of greatest vulnerability
Your vulnerability is that your adventurous spirit may make the necessities of life seem mundane and make it hard for you to slow down and engage with the world you're presented with. Going for new experiences and searching for stimulation are all excellent qualities. But when you don't have alternative modes of being, they can become liabilities. Your need to satisfy your curiosity or experience a thrill can take on an almost addictive quality at times. You may have a tendency to feel trapped doing routine, familiar things others find comforting. Be your best: Finding ways to be patient in ordinary situations and living in the present moment are keys to a more manageable life. Many Lethal Weapons find meditation or yoga to be of great help.
Section II — What makes you a Lethal Weapon?
Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types — your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type.
In your case, Lethal Weapon, your two sub-types are Seeker and Thinker. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristic
Your primary type is Seeker
Like other people with Seeker characteristic
Intellectually
More than others, you are driven toward higher states of being — you are seeking something beyond the routines and appearances of ordinary existence. In short, you desire nothing more than complete transcendence. At times this quest can manifest as a fear of being tied down. You ultimately perceive confinement as a negative experience and may crave the unpredictable and unexpected because of this.
Your secondary type is Thinker
People with Thinker characteristic
Intellectually
Section III — Your Four Personality Dimensions
Your primary and secondary personality sub-types determine your personality type. There are, however, additional elements that contribute to your complete personality profile.
Based on how you answered the questions on the Ultimate Personality Test, we have determined where you fall on four distinct personality scales: Relaxed/Appreh
Here's the breakdown of your scores on the four personality dimension scales.
Relaxed Apprehensive
Self-Doubt Confidence
Safety-Seeking Risk-Taking
Internal Experience External Appearance
Relaxed versus Apprehensive
Relaxed Apprehensive
Your scores place you in the moderately relaxed region of the relaxed/appreh
Since you scored just slightly more on the relaxed side of things, let's take a look at characteristic
People who score high on the apprehensive side of this scale are likely to be drawn to situations that are less stimulating to their senses. Because they are easily affected by change, they try to stay away from environments that can over-stimulate them.
These people have strong reactions to what others would consider minor changes. That is why people who score high on the apprehensive side of the scale try to slow down the pace. When faced with chaotic situations, they will look for more calming places to be. Despite their talents, they are generally more self-critical and shy than others, even if it seems there's no reason for them to be.
People who score high on the relaxed side of this scale are likely to be stimulated by chaos. They approach life with a "the more the better" kind of attitude. They tend to have high energy levels because they are relaxed about problems that are out of their control. These people are relatively less inclined to react emotionally to things that happen — not because they don't feel the emotions, but because they don't let things get to them as easily as others.
Since you're someone who thrives on excitement, you need to take time to analyze different aspects of your life if you're feeling unhappy. Are you feeling stunted, bored or depressed about something you can't quite put a finger on? The answer could lie in uncovering an element of your routine that isn't challenging or stimulating enough. Is your job predictable or easy? Do have a hard time finding good entertainment in your town? Are your relationships falling into a rut?
Even if friends and family envy your life — your home, your mate, your job — remember it's ok if you're still not satisfied. It doesn't mean that you're not grateful, it simply means that you need a change to keep you from being bored. If you're not up for dramatic life changes, make sure you're vigilant about mixing things up a little: take a new class, plan a trip, learn a new skill, or start an art project.
Self-Doubt versus Confidence
Self-Doubt Confidence
Your scores place you in the moderately self-doubting region of the self-doubt/con
Since you scored just slightly more on the self-doubting side of things, let's take a look at characteristic
People scoring high on the confidence side are extremely self-assured and responsible. Because of these traits, they are often the one friends and colleagues come to rely on — both on the job and in personal situations. These people are also known for having unusually high self-esteem and are natural leaders.
People who score high on the self-doubt side of the scale have a tendency to look to others to determine their self-worth. They seek calm environments and often focus their energies on jobs that have less responsibility and are therefore less stressful. They are sometimes prone to being overly-critica
To really enjoy life, you, in particular, need your freedom from obligations. If you're feeling stifled, uncreative or unhappy, look at your life and figure out if there are areas where you are carrying too much responsibility
When you carry too many unnecessary burdens, you can weigh yourself down. In this world filled with multi-tasking, power people, the trick is learning how to sort the necessary obligations from unnecessary duties.
Having more burdens than your fair share is a stress you don't need in your life. Luckily, you can control more of this than you might think — as long as you just decide what to take on, and what to leave to others.
Safety-Seeking versus Risk-Taking
Safety-Seeking Risk-Taking
Your scores place you in the moderately risk-taking region of the safety-seeking
Since you scored just slightly more on the risk-taking side of things, let's take a look at characteristic
People who score high on the risk-taking side combine a love of the new and unusual with a talent for inquisitive, abstract thinking. They seek out action and find structure and predictability to be strangling experiences.
People who score high on the safety-seeking side of the safety-seeking
Don't underestimate the power structure and routine can have on your emotional state. Take a look at areas in your life you feel restricted. Is there anything that can be done about them? Do you have to adhere to strict work hours, for example? If that is something you can't control, focus on the areas in which you do have control. Take a walk in the morning instead of the evening. Go out to dinner instead of making it. Even little things like that can have an impact you might not expect.
External Appearance versus Internal Experience
Internal Experience External Appearance
Your scores place you mid-range of the internal experience/ext
To give you an idea of how to gauge yourself on the internal experience/ext
People who score high on the internal experience side of the scale don't really believe that material possessions are a reflection of their success. In fact, they tend not to focus on how things appear to others at all. They feel that success comes from doing a good job, and knowing that they have positively influenced the world.
People who score high on the external appearance end of the scale tend to be motivated by a wish to be socially desirable. They want to move up and be seen in the world. For them, true success is important, and material possessions are the sign they have achieved it. Therefore, these people sometimes believe that happiness is directly a result of success and that the possessions they own are a reflection of that success.
You are someone who takes comfort in surrounding your things with nice things and there's nothing wrong with that. So the next time your parent's raise their eyebrows at your latest purchase, or your friends joke about your "habit" of acquiring the latest electronic gadgets, don't let it get to you.
There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a new outfit, a new car, or whatever it is you've had your eye on. Don't underestimate the power owning "stuff" can have on your emotional life. Just make sure it's within your means. Otherwise other parts of your life might suffer.
Section IV — The Lethal Weapon and the World Around You
How Others See You
People see you as down to earth with a free spirit. You convey your genuineness to others with your ability to focus on what counts — you are not easily swayed by superficial things. You also don't act in fake ways to “get ahead” or to look better than others. People notice that about you and appreciate it. People intuitively trust you with their secrets. They can see that you are not judgmental, and that appeals to many. You are open and free, yet grounded in the things that really matter.
Communication Style
Your gift, is the ability to handle intense conflict without losing your cool. With your level-headed approach, you are able to shrug off most of the bothersome things people say. Occasionally, you might question your actions or others' criticisms of you. But despite some lingering concerns, you are almost always well-served by your composure in the face of confrontation.
Your Romantic Life
You have high standards for love, believing in one love that outshines the others. To you, successful romance has two aspects: an emotional connection based on mutual care, and doing things together that you and your partner both love. You're happy with someone who enjoys the unexpected as much as you do. You'll both be excited at the prospect of situations with an unknown outcome. You and your well-suited mate enjoy high quality conversation and fulfilling experiences together. You are deep, sincere and willing to take emotional risks. You succeed in romance when you use your intuition and intelligence to choose someone whose compatibility with you goes deeper than the surface.
You At Your Best
You are blessedly free from many common fears and anxieties about the world. You're at your best when you're using your ease and fearlessness to explore possibilities and get to know yourself better. Entertain your inclinations. Learn by trial and error. Challenge yourself and then be gentle when you bump up against your limitations. You'll find great satisfaction and strengthen your sense of self when you get your feet wet in the stream of life.
Achieving Success
You are capable of more than you think. At this point, your most important task is to explore just where your greatest talents lie. You're not prone to care a whole lot about getting ahead of the game or looking good in an expensive car. You're looking for other kinds of success. So cast a wide net as you try out possible jobs, activities, and areas of interest. You're bound to learn a lot about yourself, the world and what excites you. Keep an open mind, a positive outlook, and above all, don't sell yourself short. Armed with self-knowledge and a good attitude, there's nothing you can't do.
What Really Motivates You
For you, the chase is the reward. You are motivated by challenge, excitement, the chance to test your obviously ample abilities — and to get that coveted adrenaline rush in the process. You love to use your mind, so you're always looking for your next learning opportunity. If you know that a challenge includes difficult, abstract thinking, you're intrigued and enticed. Motivation for you is inspiration. There's no end to the energy you'll find when given the latitude to pursue your dreams creatively.
Conflict
You value issues that go beneath the surface so you're not likely to get caught up in petty conflicts. When you do find yourself in conflict with people, it's likely to be people you're truly close to and with whom you're emotionally engaged. The topic of the conflict tends to be something fairly complex and definitely profound and challenging. Your insight and calm help you get through these situations with minimal drama. The only drawback there is that sometimes people mistake your cool demeanor for not caring about the issue. Your challenge is to communicate that getting upset isn't the only way to thoughtfully address a difficult issue.
Getting Unstuck in Your Life
You may not know it yet, but you're ready to take some chances. You'll break out of insecurities and stuck places in your life when you open up to new experiences. Try something new and pay attention to how it makes you feel. You have a natural resilience; so don't fear that your experiments with work, interests, relationships or self-explorati
the rest of this is just bs stuff.
Section V — What is Personality?
You know that everyone has a different personality, but what exactly is a personality?
The word "personality" actually comes from the word "persona" which referred to the various masks that actors wore to depict different roles in Greek plays. That's how we got the popular notion of personality as the combination of traits that make each person distinctive.
While most people agree that a human being's personality is far too complex to categorize and label, some scientists and philosophers have devoted their lives to doing exactly that. They believe that although there are idiosyncrasies to each distinct personality, there are more general “personality types” that can be identified. One of the advantages of defining these types, is that once you know how someone tends to behave, you can start to predict future behavior. This has applications in both the real, and the theoretical world.
Before we get into exactly what these models are useful for, let's look at the history of personality typing and how older theories have developed into today's more popular personality tests.
Section VI — History of Personality Tests
As early as the fifth century B.C., the Greek philosopher/ph
German philosopher Immanuel Kant later popularized these ideas in the 1700's, when he organized those constructs along two axes, feelings and activity. Depression represented weak feelings, confidence reflected strong feelings. Indifference represented weak activity, violence represented strong activity.
The next big step came from Wilhelm Wundt who started to think about these categorical groups not as finite, but as continuous dimensions. He proposed that the four temperaments fall on high or low positions on two axes, changeability and emotionality.
The idea that four basic temperaments existed, eventually became the basis of a number of late 19th-/20th-cen
In the 1950s, however, Isabel Myers and her daughter Katherine Briggs revived Jung's ideas. Myers and Briggs used Jung's personality types as a base, then devised a 16-type indicator designed to identify patterns of human action. This test became the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a tool for identifying different aspects of someone's personality. This “tool” exposed a whole, new international audience to Jung's psychological types. The tool further connected the science of personality typing, because the MBTI types were consistent with Hippocrates' four temperaments.
More than three million Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests are administered each year in the U.S. More than four million people have taken Tickle's Ultimate Personality Test.
Behavioral scientists are not the only researchers interested in personality types. For a more mystical look at personality, we should turn to the Enneagram. This system has a more mysterious background. Based on an ancient nine-pointed diagram used as far back as 2000 B.C. by Pythagoras, the Enneagram leaves a blurry trail through many of history's mystical philosophies. Plato and his followers, the Kabbala branch of Judaism, the Islamic Sufi tradition, and even esoteric branches of Christianity have all found spiritual significance in the nine-pointed symbol. It wasn't until the 20th century that the Enneagram meshed with new-age psychology. The nine-pointed symbol became the template for a personality typing system that overlayed nine personality types on top of the Enneagram structure.
Modern Personality Tests
In addition to the MBTI (the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) which is still one of the most widely used personality tests, other popular theories and tests exist. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter is a test built around David Keirsey's groundbreaking 1978 book Please Understand Me. The Keirsey Temperament Sorter is similar to the MBTI in its use of four dimensions and 16 categories, but the Keirsey method claims to have a more complex system of characterizati
In the 1970's researchers agreed that there was another way to measure personality traits. Tests like the IPIP-NEO are based on a five-factor personality methodology. Some scientists feel this is the most revealing way to describe personality because it can measure five fundamental dimensions of personality.
Personality Tests and Daily Life
An important thing to remember about personality tests is that no one personality type is better or worse than another. In addition, the results of most personality tests, including Tickle's Ultimate Personality Test, derive their final personality types from more than one influence — usually a primary type shaded by at least one secondary type.
Although it is an imperfect science, personality models shed light on the complexities of human behavior. Undeniable patterns in human actions have existed since the dawn of man. Taken as guidelines and not absolute truth, personality tests can help us understand and better relate to ourselves and the world — to understand why we are the way we are. We can also use them to understand each other, not only to improve friendships, but to facilitate work relationships and career choices.
Many businesses use personality tests or abbreviated versions of personality tests to evaluate a prospective employee's strengths and weaknesses. Marriage counselors recommend certain personality tests to determine compatibility. But the most common use of personality typing is for fun and self-discovery
Section VII — The Science Behind Tickle's Personality Test
Tickle and a team of four PhDs spent the past two years developing the Ultimate Personality Test. While fine-tuning it, we wanted to make sure of two things: 1. That is was a fun and insightful test that yielded interesting wisdom about your personality and 2. That it was grounded in real science.
Your Ultimate Personality Test went through it's own tests while being developed. The test you took is 50 questions long — but those questions fell out of months of research that tested thousands of qualities associated with personality. These were the best of the best when it came to identifying and isolating personality types.
Our scientific research team pored over the vast literature on personality. We administered a two-hour test giving hundreds of questions to thousands of people. We performed factor and cluster analyses on the results, then went back to survey those same test-takers to validate our study.
Now, more than 4 million people have taken the test.
As we've collected that enormous volume of data, we have been able to refine the test and make it even more accurate — delving deeper into the personalities and characteristic
Now, we're offering the results of our research to the public. The Ultimate Personality Test is scientifically accurate. The results of the test will tell you what your personality type is, and how your personality type reacts to situations that involve romance, career, family, and health. In short, this test will change your life.
Tc's Personality Report
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Comp
URL of the test: http://www.4de
boom boom
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Coconuts
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every where
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Hella Good
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jealousy song
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Hit Me With Your Best Shot
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Butterfly
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Pilot Name: Tc V
AC Name: Tc VanDeVal
Head: H10-CICADA2
Core: CR-C770/U
Arms: CR-A88FG
Legs: LT02-BOAR2
Booster: Built In
FCS: CR-F82D2
Generator: G02-MAGNOLIA
Radiator: CR-R92
Inside: -
Extension: SAISUI
Back Unit R: WB02L-GERYON
Back Unit L: WB02L-GERYON
Arm Unit R: WR09HL-SPIRIT
Arm Unit L: WH02RS-WYRM
Arm Unit R Hanger: WR03H-GHOST
Arm Unit L Hanger: FUHJIN
OPTIONAL PARTS
O01-ANIMO, CR-O69ES, KISSYOH, O07-PRIMER, O04-GOLGI, O06-PHAGE,
O08-RIBOSE, MARISHI,
COLORS
YEA I STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB!
GENERAL:
CAMOUFLAGE CORE AND LAGES
NORAML HEAD AND AMS NOT CAM.
MY COLORS ARE PURE SO i SAY RED IT 200% RED ON THAT BLOCK.
COLOR IN ORDER
GENERAL:
BLUE, BLACK, RED, GREEN, WHITE
HEAD:
BLACK, GREEN, BLUE, WHITE, RED
CORE:
BLUE. BLACK, RED, GREEN, WHITE
BOTH ARMS:
BLACK BULE, GREEN, WHITE, RED
LEGS:
BLUE, BLACK, RED, GREEN, WHITE
Well that my AC info for you. my all around tank.
I had another realy wird dream, I was in a school, they where talking about gymnastics/che