[♥Tc VanDeVal Tc♥]'s diary
If I was in despair,
Would they care?
If I was no longer here,
Would they shed a single tear?
If I should fall,
Would they call?
If I was depressed,
Would they think of me as a pest?
If I was in danger,
Would they become a stranger?
If I was taunted,
Would they make me feel wanted?
If I moved elsewhere,
Would they care?
from [Crimson Angel] page
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the Crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would ignore this
From [Chi Towns Finest_333] page.
It reminded me of all the home's I have.
Written about Saturday 2006-07-01
Written: (6720 days ago)
What can bring you back from this death?
This pain I feel, it is yours.
It hurts so much that my life stands still.
My heart is weeping, yours has stoped.
Life is gone, soul no more.
All I do is weep even more.
Standing there over you.
I ask my self what to do.
Hold you tight, hold you here.
Got to know, are you still there.
Healing your wounds, makeing amends.
your lips to mine giving you breath.
My hands on your chest beating your heart.
Can I keep you from falling apart.
my eyes run dry, no longer a tear.
All I have is a fear.
driffting from me
This is done, I have none.
If I fail, we will die.
Hear my cry,
Join my soul.
I took this pain.
I filled your lungs.
I feel your heart.
Now give hope to your soul.
Lets make us whole
I hear your voice
It in my head
Hold on dear, i'm almost there.
Open your eyes, now sruprized.
"You see me there"
"Wanting to bring you back here too."
"Wanting to bring back what is not here."
"will my touch make your heart beat."
"My touch move your blood"
"give you hope in your soul"
"take from you this pain"
"My love of your life"
*"Will my touch cause you to cringe away"
*"Or will it cause your body to sway"
(ADD A NEW LINE AND SEND BACK)
GETTING IDEAS
Moving swiftly from wall to wall.
Carrying something quite small.
Avoiding windows and light,
keeping to the shadows of night.
Reacts to the call to avoid this fight.
Moving quickly as in flight.
this child, crying, all in blood.
Calm the child, or have no sight.
or hold to the night.
Walking into the light,
now in sight.
swords drawn ready to fight.
Ready for this,waiting for it.
charging in to battle.
Pass the child,
smell the blood,
see life begin to flood.
Now death has to be,
god has not come for thee
please come to me.
I take thier power,
at this hour.
Let death be.
heavy hearts pound.
God does not come,
for those who kill me.
passed through as light.
Now I hold tight,
now they will see, what it be.
Deep inside me.
It was forever to be.
Now give hope to thee.
Final Rest to be.
Death has come for me
edited from [Shikitty] peom.
LAYER ONE:
-- Name: VanDeVal
-- Nickname: Tc
-- Birthdate:
-- Birthplace:
-- Hair color: brown
-- Height: 5'6
-- Righty or lefty: both
Layer two
-- Your heritage: 25%native american/germa
-- The shoes you wore today: dont like shoes
-- Your weakness: lost causes
-- Your fears: none i dont like
-- Your perfect pizza: 10 lbs pizza had to eat with a spoon
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: getting over my dilexea words and shaps letter carp.
LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase: "i dont know"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: *you will have to ask me this one*
-- Your best physical feature: Agility
-- Your bedtime: sleep whats that...
-- Your most missed memory: the garage
LAYER FOUR
-- Soda: none
-- Fast food joint: none
-- Single or group dates: both
-- Adidas or Nike: its shoes
-- Chocolate or vanilla: both but icecream then vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: hot chocolate/capp
LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: some times
-- Sing: only tone dogs can hear.
-- Take a shower every day: yes
-- Have a crush(es):
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes it can hurt
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Like school: sometimes
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Believe in yourself: when ever i can.
-- Get motion sickness: not yet
-- Think you're attractive: other may say so.
-- Think you're a health freak: not even close
-- Get along with your parents: some times
-- Like thunderstorms: every one of them. the best time to take a walk.
-- Play an instrument: not good...
LAYER SIX
In the past 6 months...
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: yes
-- Done a drug: (this includes asprin): yes, if not then no
-- Made out: yes
-- Gone on a date: yes
-- Gone to the mall: no
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: yes
-- Gone skinny-dipping
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen anything: only food.
LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
-- Been caught doing something: no
-- Been called a tease: yes
-- Gotten beaten up: fights no one wins.
-- Shoplifted: food
-- Changed who you were to fit in: no
LAYER EIGHT
-- Numbers and names of children: Alexander(1)
-- Describe your dream wedding: no idea
-- How you want to die: smokeing a blunt
-- Where do you want to go to college: where i can
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: me
-- What country would you most like to visit: many of them
LAYER NINE
In the preferred sex...lots of
-- Best eye color:
-- Best hair color:
-- Short or long hair:
-- Best height:
-- Best weight:
-- Best articles of clothing:
-- Best first date location:
-- Best first kiss location: any where on the body
LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 7
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
-- Number of CDs that I own:
-- Number of piercings: 1
-- Number of tattoes: want just one
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 2
--Number of scars on my body: more then I could count
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I never regret
[A curious know-it-all] got this list from
Written about Tuesday 2006-06-20
Written: (6730 days ago)
the glow of this moon makes me shine.
once a Question was asked,
that you could not answer.
It layed in my heart,
until the pen met this paper.
that looks to you,
wishing of me.
She should know,
she's looking at me,
as I look too her.
We meet in the night,
Together we lay under the moon,
hoping for dreams to come true.
looking at your face
as she would too mine.
I'm still here looking at you,
as you look to me.
may you watch over us
for where both under the moon.
YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS::
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
______________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
______________
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
______________
All questions are COMPLETELY confidential - send to my inbox
got from some one eles
nothing i can give to mend a heart, nothing i can do do to give life too you, all i can leave is some tissue, to wipe your eyes and say bless you. can not stop your mouth from speaking, i can't stop your ears from listening, i can leave you this mirror for you too see the truth, but then i cant whisper in your ear the answer you so whis to hear, for love can never be found, it can only be given, all i can give is a rose too you , for i am just a Random Member passing though.
TO:
[bubblemae] Diary:
days keep on going my heart keeps on dying.my eyes keep on crying.my mouth keeps on lying to myself.my ears keep on wanting another answer.why?why
Ancient Moon, O ageless traveler,
sailing on the sea of stars
winters cold and winter darkness
warps us in these frozen hours,
bring the sun to warm us with it's power
Turn your shining force to ours.
thanks Lady Nymp...
When love is lost
My heart is bleeding blood.
My mind is dying.
My body is getting colder then the ocean.
My soul is melting in the fires of hell.
My love is gone with the wind.
My hair is now silver as snow.
My eyes are blind to what I see.
My skin as pale as one’s sail.
My life is gone, forever is my soul.
My brain has been sealed into an icy peak.
My love has cease and can never live again.
When heart is found
My heart is beating.
My mind is driving.
My body is wormed by the fire inside.
My soul is hardened from the love of another.
My love is returned with the ocean tide.
My hair is turns gold with arrow’s flight .
My eyes now have sight.
My skin as glowing, even at night.
My life ago is no more, fore now I am whole.
My brain has been free into the sky.
My love is now, never too leave again.
edited from [Nikos Kitten] diary.
(the world is a beatiful place, when your asleep!!)
Dream of a dream, sleep to night, see this sight.
Of a field so green by a pond full of trees, see this house,
small littel home, yard full of flowers from the world, of every color and size, the door of the garage blue and white.
You kncok and it opens. You look opon, to find the room full of oddest things. The floor made of many diffrent tiles. Five chairs that dont seem to match any thing. A bule with a tall back but deep seat, a green with a short back but soft cushion, and a bright orange one with a tall back and high seat, aranged around a metel table. Another green chair faceing the wall with fire in front of it. the ceiling has many light placed above each area. "welcome to my palce of rest... You may come here anytime form any where... Stay as long as you want for time stands still here... Be an hour or a day the time never moves... Sleep if you wish an wake when you want. You may sit where you want, you wil find one too like" You look at largest bed you ever seen. Looks like a giant pollow, "Well it is a giant pillow, feather pillow, many of them to be more actuate" above the head board a pic of death on it's hourse. "Better to remind me he can wait as long as I" you go to the bed and jump on to it...feels like clouds under you, holding you up as you sink in too it. you lay there longer to realize you dont want to move.
"I shall let you sleep to dream this dream" *the white shop light gose off, the black lights around the room turn on. the whole room has many drawings that glow, the door shuts to see the bright florescent spray paint mural on it. The ceiling has mountain flowing across it.
the Garage as it was, a place one and all.
Tc VanDeVal
To: [Tarina]
my grams rules of the house.
that while in our homes they wont engage in activities "we dont approve of-such as drugging, drinking, or bringing in sexual partners to excess." ...key word excess, define: amount that can not be handled.
that "job-hunting" is their primary responsiblilit
that they will share the household chores and take proper care of their personal space and belongings.
that they will afford us "a fair amount of privacy- and we will grant them the same."
that they will "extend common courtesies," ei.."I wont be home for dinner tonight." (which we promise not to follow up with "So where will you be going?")
that "we will be able to discuss things that bother us- and we'll make every effort to negotiate a solution."
that they will "contribute a percentage of thier earnings to cover everyday household expenses" such as utilities, phone bills, ect...
there once was a boy who sat above the sea. always every day he look apon it every night to see the darkness that it hold, every morring to watch the colors of the rainbow flow though the waves....see every dimond that cant be held.
if I was to have one...tatoo
FROM [RaineDagyr] PAGE:
Pick the MONTH that you were born in. Your friends might understand you better...
JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive . Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
______________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness
______________
MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate, shy, and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling.Love
S'me.
______________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
______________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
______________
JUNE:
Easy to talk to. Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone* always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsom
______________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
______________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egotistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
______________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal and always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. Sexy but has brains.
______________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly.Br
______________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Highly Sexual. Uncertain in relationships. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart.
______________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself
Written about Friday 2005-06-03
Written: (7112 days ago)
My Angel Love
Oh heaven above
Thank you for sending my love
He is an angel of my affection
Sent to Earth for my protection
Angel of mercy, angel of hope
Sent to help me to cope
I love my angel, I love my man
I love him dearly with all that I am
Oh heaven far above
Thank you for sending my one true love.
by
[shnikies]
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? my brother
2. What is your weapon of choice? pen,knife,swor
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? woudnt want too...if i had no choise maybe....
4. How about of the same sex? ok,,,point him out.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? lets see...well there was this girl who wanted to kil me with a knife for no reason...this guy just because he heard a lie about me.....
6. What is your pet peeve? poeple who hurt people just to hurt them....
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I forgive but dont forget....
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? house work
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? in a day 12am in a week it was firday to monday sleep.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? if want them I find them.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? not now.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? once ladder one....
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I dont I got someone else to do it for me...
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? dont have one....
2. Meat eaters: white meat or red meat? red meat on white meat. with cheese
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Nope.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? all of the above some time all at once.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought food!? yes
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 9
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/fam
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? yea one too many times
4. Have you "done it"? yes
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? skin....
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? yes then she offered for free she also lived at my house...
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?no!
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? 0
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? ???
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? santity
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? rich, I dont like atention
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? yea, I can make anything fun if I try...
6. Have you ever stolen anything? yes food...
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?....nope
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? of every thing I do that can never be done agian...
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? acrobatixs
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? to make my car or the bike...long story...
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? no I dont try for place just i know if I want it I will get it...
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? yes too offten....then I dont try...
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? no.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? woke up.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? land...lots of it.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? noone,
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? my self years ago...
4. Have you ever been cheated on? yeap...
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? my back it kills me...
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? mindlessness..
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? no!
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Lust-pride
got this from some one forgot who.
well life is iife...I got sick...sinies.
BORN FEB, 21, AEXANDER ROBERTO JENSEN,
7BLS 1 ONCE, 19 1/2 INCHES LG , , DARK BROWN HAIR
HIS EYES STARTED AS BLUE - DEEP BRITE BLUE. IN THE AST WEEK THEY CHANGED FROM BULE,GREEN, YELLOW TINT, SOME TIME ALL THOSE IN RINGS AROUND THE CENTER. HE ALWAYS OOKING AROUND HIM, STAIRS IN TO YOUR EYE WITH GREAT WONDER, HE IS PEACFU MOST OF THE TIME, LIKES TO SLEEP ON MY CHEST. DOSENT FUSS UNLESS HE WANTS SOME THING, OTHER WISE HE IS QUITE lOOKING AROUND.
i'M HAPPY i THINK I NEED HIM MORE THEN HE NEED ME...i DONT FEEL AS i DONT HAVE PERPOUSE...I dont get sleep still but thats a part of being a father. I hope the best for him... i wish to teach him al I know...and even more about him self. he will teach me more about my self