ok...i might go o the chcarnival today....if it dosnt rain. i want to talk to him, but im so afraid of what hes going to say again. i diddnt like last night at all.....my body hates me i think to....when i tried to cry last night, when everyone was finally asleep, the tears wouldnt come out!!!> < i guess a soul wants to cry when it wants to cry...  ........i NEED to get all this out of my head.....

i walk in th rain so no one sees me crying
i stay in the dark so one one sees me dying
i dont know what to say or do
so instead can i stay with you??
-amane ryo

damnit!i cant fucking stand this anymore!!!im crying!im not soposed too! my tears want to come out, but i need them inside until tonight!!I HATE THIS! why am i so damned!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKxnJ5iyC-w
wont anyone?

... i miss him.why?i never met the friggen guy...yet i feel like crying...all my friends are always talking about their new boyfriends... or how they just broke up. i did that once.ONCE. and hated it. iv been shot down(on purpos)once. iv shoten down...i think three times...i guess its coming back at me.but i...guess i did hurt them. i diddnt mean to though...i just...said"i think of you more as a friend"....damn. im such a bitch...and extremely selfish.... i want to talk to him so bad.....

fuck... I LOVE HIM!!!*cries*

damnit...i still cant get him out!!! > < ....im going to go to a carnival today. i wont be back till late...sorry. and....i dont know if im going to ba on as much as i usually am...which most of you wont even notice....all these tears in my heart are filling up...they might come out soon...i hope not...

i diddnt know it would hurt this much....no one will want to see me tonight now.....

damnit...i diddnt know it would make me wanna cry so bad....*holding back tears best she can*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLhfZjbf2j4
sad ass song...for me.

*about a boy and girls love*

*A boy and a girl
The best of friends
From elementary to high school
From beginning to end
Through all these years
Their friendship grew
They both felt the same
But neither knew*
(Each waking moment
Since the day that they met
They both loved each other
Sunrise to sunset)
*He was all she had
In her terrible life
He was the one
Who kept her from her knife*
(She was his angel
She made him smile
Though life threw him curves
She made it worth all the while)
*Then one day
Things went terribly wrong
The next few weeks
Were like a very sad song*
(He made her jealous
On purpose he tried
When the girl asked "do you love her?"
On purpose he lied)
*He played with jealousy
Like it was a game
Little did he know
Things would never be the same*
(His plan was working
But he had no clue
How wrong things would go
The damage he would do)
*One night she broke down
Feeling very alone
Just her and the blade
No one else home*
(She dialed his number
He answered "hello"
She told him she loved him
Then hung up the phone)
*He raced to her house
But came a minute too late
Found her lying in blood
And her heart had no rate*
(Beside her was a note
And in it her confession
Her love for this boy
Her only obsession)
*As he read the note
He knelt down and cried
Grabbed her knife
And that night they both died*
(She was found in his arms
Both of them dead
Under her note
His handwriting said)
*"I loved her so
She never knew
All this time
I loved her too"*



yeah...this made me wana cry sooooooo bad...
but my parents would never let me live it down....so,theyr in there stil.

i usually feel better when hearing someone has it better than me. but...damn.poor aura. i didnt mean to put her in that memory...im sorry. ....and damn. i guess i do like him. i asked...whoever it is up there to give me a sighn, and, they did.TT^TT but he has someone already! i dont want him to give that up for anything!...damn. and for you reading this and know who it is, SAY ANYTHING AND I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE EITHER, KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF. TVT ...ok. i think im done...for a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWDfH51gvc0

man i wish i could do that at school....

i wouldnt know what id do if someone wasnt on right now...XD lmao!

OK.NEW RULES. YOU WANT TO READ MY DIARY AND DONT GET IT,

KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

damnit....i think i like him....alot.i dont wanna though.>< i promised i wouldnt fall for somone like that.*breaths*damn....i love him...(that felt....good and bad at the same time)

um...i think im in love....but i dont wanna be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJnuhNcRM9U
i love you all so much!^ ^and im here whenever you need me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df87H9hGgWQ<original.

ok...no messages to worry about now...*sighs* man...iv been getting real dizzy lately.....i wonder why?im always dizzy....but not like this.oh well.if i pass out,then ill worry about it.

i dont know where i would be if my friends werent here.shadow and kuro take such good care of me....and momo gave me that protection badge.paul is alway able to put a smile on me,and shinju-chan is always there for me.im gonna miss talking to kyo, he said hes probobly not gonna come on elftown anymore...he dosnt want anyone to miss him, but thats just who i am.

i cant believe spring break is over already...i cant talk to anyone on here for a while now...im gonna have to come on later...*cries*but...my friends are here for me...(i think...O O...) but,even if they arent, im here for them.no matter what, if anyone of them needs my help, im here for em!*punches air*

this is the kind of guy shoro wants me to find, since he knows he cant always protect me here. i want a guy like that too. just like him.

damn...shoro changed again last night...im really starting to get worried...im not getting any of this at all...maybe i will later...

yeah...thats me.