[Aki Neko]'s diary
I have to now you guys! I love you!!!Ill try to be on later!!!
This song is a remix and I LOVE IT TO DEATH!!!!!(Scary, Iv never liked eminem...Oo)
[Introduction]
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...
[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
Written about Sunday 2007-08-12
Written: (6264 days ago)
I have to go guys...Ill see if I can get on, if not...yeah...
And If Im not back in 3 days(Which I should be by then) I got bit by a snake...I love you guys! Goodnight!!!
Evo...i just wanted to say Im happy to have met you.^_^ Sweet dreams while Im gone.
PS: While Im gone, can you guys read this and give me feedback? I worked hard on it:
10 things THE perfect guy would do:
1)Someone who will be there when you cry.......and cry with you
2)Someone who will pay for your food........ev
3)Someone who will pay for your clothes...even though you just got your paycheck
4)Someone who will look into your eyes and slowley come in for the kiss.........A
5)Someone who will always be there for you.......even though theyr on vaction a 100 miles away
6)No matter what mood your in, theyll still hug and kiss you, like it was nothing happenening...
7)If you EVER get in a fight, he'll automaticly make you feel bad by putting ALL the blame on himself.....th
8)If he ever found out you were hurting your self, he'd never leave your side...As he was doing before
9)He'll say he loves you more than the world, and that hed buy it for you....even though he knows all you want is him
10)He'll say I love you......AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I cant believe this happened....ag
But, I REALLLLLLLLLY like him.....*Sigh* I just dont think Im made for anyone, I was an extra in the bach...
Whats wrong with me lately????
Is it that IV gotten to trust NO ONE?
Or is that NO ONES gotten to trust ME?
I guess Im just having another moment or whatever....Bu
Forgive me if you can, I dont care if you do or dont.I just feel like shit right now, its another selfish moment, let it pass....My hearts just giving my brain a hard time. I dont know if I like Ryan or not, I dont know what to do on here anymore about situations like that. Iv just....gone through (MY OWN!!NOT YOURS) hell lately...I have to call a friends boyfriend to see if I can get him to spill on Ashley, and if he IS cheating on her, I might not be on for a while, (MABY) either from injuries or lack of emotion. And, one last thing, STOP RANTING AT ME! RANT TO ME IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!!!
Ok??
</end random mood rant>
PLEASE JOIN The Hidden World!!!! WE NEED MORE RPERS!
Nevermind that about my mom, she just wants me around so I have to go through what she dose.....If HE wasnt around, we'd all be happy....It was so peaceful when he was gone.
Again....My dad is SUCK AN ASSHOLE!!!!!
Sometimes I actually think that he threatens my mom since she gives into it so much and takes it out on me still.....I liked it better when he was still in jail...I HATE IT HERE. I KNOW Im going to die sooner than Im soposed to when we move...
I dont know why he cant just stop being a pathatic asswipe and accept he DOSNT control us...I do, I hate that man. Only thing hes good for is making money....
Sometimes I think he never wanted me...My mom is only mean to me when he gets her started. Sometimes I just want to slap the FUCK out of him...BASTARD!
<end/dad rant>
Written about Friday 2007-08-10
Written: (6266 days ago)
Ok...I fucked up AGAIN...
I was talking to some old friend who werent on my list any more, and I THINK he was playing...but her boyfriend told me he killed himself. Me not knowing, since with the whole 6th sense thing and night talker shit, was playing around with her and I asked her if he really killed himself. She left right after. I FUCKED UP AGAIN! AND IT HASNT RAINED YET! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!? I thought he was kidding....I think I said something I shouldnt have...>> IM SORRY KYO AND KISAAAAA!!!!!!
*Cries horribly*
Written about Thursday 2007-08-09
Written: (6267 days ago)
Written about Wednesday 2007-08-08
Written: (6267 days ago)
Sorry I left guys!!!
My mom got me off here right in the middle of everything (AGAIN!!!!) just to watch my fucking father get drunk off of one beer and act like an ass hole!!!!Im tired of him, I really am.
Imma sleep now...*Pass out* Oh! And for the last diary thingy, we found out who is was. YAY! I ISH AVENGED!!!>.> Though they came to me first...Im not a whor though...Q_Q
WHO EVER WAS ON MY RP MOMMYS ACCOUNT I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU MYSELF!!!YOU FUCKERS THINK ITS FUNNY!!!IF YOUR THEM AND READING THIS I SUGJEST YOU WATCH YOUR ASS!!!!ILL SHOW YOU TO RP WOMAN RAPE ME YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!
*Is now SCARED FOR LIFE*
Written about Sunday 2007-08-05
Written: (6271 days ago)
I only got this thing because I LOVE the look on Bakura's face. XDDDD Almost as good as the one where he gets run over by the boulder:
Ok, I have to go soon. If I log out out of nowhere, sorry.XDD I Love you guys!!!*KISSH!
I FOUND MY CLIP!!!!!!!!
http://www.you
FALL OUT BOY!I FOUND MY CLIP!!! Im in to top rightcorner at the first part with pete wntz's side!!Its dark, but you can see an arm flail. THATS MEH!
*SCREAMS!* I FOUND A CLIP FROM THE CONCERT I WHEN TO!!!!!!!OMFG!!!!!!
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
OMG!!!FOR THIS ONE IM OVER IN THE RIGHT CORNER!*For the tv version @.@*
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
http://www.you
THERES MORE BUT ILL PUT THEM UP LATER!!!
I CANT BELIEVE I FOUND ALL THESE!!*HAPPY CRIES*
Aki's version of the perfect guy. XDD *Remake of the ones on here*
1)Someone who will be there when you cry.......and cry with you
2)Someone who will pay for your food........ev
3)Someone who will pay for your clothes...even though you just got your paycheck
4)Someone who will look into your eyes and slowley come in for the kiss.........A
5)Someone who will always be there for you.......even though theyr on vaction a 100 miles away
*Still working on it.XD*
