[undercoverangel]'s diary

570091  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-05
Written: (7141 days ago)

Watching your first smile
Watching your first step
Watching you say your first word
Watching you grow up before my eyes
Even though you are growing
You will forever be that little baby I held in my arms
Watching you get ready for your first day of school
Watching you as you first learn to read
Watching you make your first friend
Watching you as you get smarter each day
Just makes me realize how fast my baby is going
You will forever be my sweet little baby
Watching you perform in your first play
Watching you sing your first song
Watching you do an act in your first talent show
Watching you go through your first big disappointment
Baby don’t worry momma is still here
You will forever by my little baby
My little sweet heart we have been through a lot together
No matter how big you get
You will always be the little baby that I held in my arms

570087  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-05
Written: (7141 days ago)

Everyone says I should give you up
That I am too young to be your mother
But you are my pride
The thought of holding you in my arms
Makes the sad and emptiness go away
Don’t know if you are a boy or girl
Don’ really care just knowing that you are mine is enough
Your daddy says he doesn’t want anything to with us
But that is ok we’ll make it on our own
I dream of how your room is going to look
I look into the future and think of you as a teen
Oh how I am looking forward to your arrival
You are my precious baby
And I ain’t going to let you go
No matter what people say or think
For I love you already
And forever my baby you will be 

570082  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-05
Written: (7141 days ago)

As night falls around her
She thinks back on the past
All the pain and suffering
Why can’t it just end?
Why can’t there be peace
Why can’t people just be happy
Why do people make others feel miserable
These questions run through her head
As she stands beside one lonely grave
She looks down at this grave
If only she could have been there
To stop the pain and suffer
She was too busy caught up in herself
That she didn’t notice the struggle he went through
He tried to get her attention
But she put him aside for what she thought was more important
Her mind goes back to that night
The night he died
He told her that he loved her
And that he had to much to drink
He fell and she caught him
But as he laid there in her arms
He said, “Never forget me.
I will always be with you to give strength
When you need it most.”
Then all was silent she didn’t know what to do
As she held his body close to hers
She wept for all the could of prevented it
If only she paid more attention to the struggle he was going through

564175  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-04-28
Written: (7148 days ago)
Next in thread: 564212

Can you hear that?
I hear someone crying
yet I can't find the source.
I see blood
But whose?
I hear someone arguing with themselves
she's very depressed
she wants to live yet wants to die
She is questiong her existance
And what people tell her
Someone hurted her big time
And now she doubts she will get over it
Lies, they are all lies-she says
I wish I could comfort her
tell her there are others
tell her my story so she knows
that she ain't alone
with i could stop her
but i don't know where to find her
it isn't good to hold back the tears
yet crying doen't solve anything either
why do people hurt others for no reason?
he told her he loved her
says it doesn't matter that there is an age difference
yet the next day he says he can't date her anymore
cuz of the age difference
but what is the truth behind the reason?
she feels like she is going insane!
i just wish i could reach her in time
i know the feeling for i have been there more than once
but sweetheart we are the stronger ones
not the guys
we have the brains and the guts to get what we need to survive
just remember that you are strong
and that the pain will go away with some time
learn from that pain
and give it another try
for not all guys are the same

537997  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-31
Written: (7176 days ago)
Next in thread:

You are here to cheer me up when I am down
You are here to listen to my sorrows
Bad days come and go
But you will always be here for me
As I will for you
Know that if you need someone to trust
You can come to me
I will give you a listening ear
Just as you have to me
You are a true person
One of a kind...
Just like me in so many ways
If I could only have one friend
I would want someone just like you!
I will be here for you forever
Just as I hope for you to be there for me
I am glad that we have the pleasure
Of having a pure friendship

531215  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-24
Written: (7183 days ago)

Why can't I do anything right?
I know that no one is perfect.
But everything I do or say is wrong!
I voice my feelings...
I loose my friends.
I hang out with my guy friends...
I get accussed of cheating.
What am I doing that always gets me in trouble?
Death looks good right now.
But I know I would be hurting a few people.
Don't think of me as heartless cuz I do have a heart
I can't stand this any more though
Someone please save me!

531208  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-24
Written: (7183 days ago)

Growing
Hush my little precious one
time to dry those tears
momma will never leave you
close those tired sleepy eyes
and dream of sweet dreams
i will be here still when you wake
my little baby oh how you're growing

hush my little one
your 1 years old now
you make mommy very proud
all on your own you learned to walk
close your eyes
and dream of all your 1st times
my little baby is 1 now

hush my little love
mommy will take care of it
my how the years have passed
you're 5 now
you're going to school
to become smart
my little baby isn't a baby

hush my child
momma is still here
i love my child
for me how thoughtful
see we don't need anyone else
just u and me
my child is now 10

Hush my darling
i know what your going through
i have been there more than once
i know that breaking up with someone isn't easy
remember i was young once
come let me help you
my baby is now a teen

oh my child you're now all grown
it's your special day
i don't think i could be any prouder
you are getting married
don't worry i'll be fine
i ain't loosing my child
i am gaining another

hush my precious little one
grandma is here until mommy comes
close those pretty little eyes
and when you open them
mommy and daddy should be here
grandma's here to give you everything to spoil you
Grandma's here to listen to your fears

530723  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-03-23
Written: (7184 days ago)

Oh my love here i go
it is my time now
for i have had enough of this
i want to be with u
but u don't believe me
what do u want from me
i am only 16
i don't truely know what i want
i just know that i love you
with all my being
please baby just hold me close
tell me that u love me
then just maybe i will still be here
what do i have to do
would me not having a life
make u happy
would it make u trust me
may be i am better off dead
but i wish to be held and loved by you

528594  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-22
Written: (7186 days ago)

baby why do u think the worse when u see me with a guy
don't u trust me enough to know i love you
there will never be another for me
that guy u thought i was kissing
turns out to be a gurl and these lips weren't kissing anything
the only person i wish to be kissing and caressing is you
baby can't you see that?
i love you with all my heart
you are my savor
the reason i still live
i now have no friends i can call mine
i have no one here to keep me on this earth
without u i don't have the need to live
baby *cries* i love you
and since i heard this
i have done nothen but cried
please baby believe me when i tell you all this
that you are the only one for me
but i guess it's my time
my time to go away from this earth
i hope that you find happiness without me
for my happiness is with you

523382  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-15
Written: (7192 days ago)

Questions
why does life have to be so confusing?
why can't it just be easy?
why am i here?
what is my purpose?
who am i?
where am i?
why can't i remember anything?
why am i so got damn confuse?
why don't someone answer my questions?
is it cuz no one knows the answers?

523372  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-15
Written: (7192 days ago)

this may not be much to you 
but it means a lot to me  
that our love forever stays true 
for i love you with all my being
i don't think i'd be here
if it wasn't for your love
oh how i wish to be there
i n your oh such loving arms

523356  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-15
Written: (7192 days ago)

Hush my love it's only for a while
just give it time to grow
we'll soon be holding our first child
things will never be the same
i know my love for i feel it too
what will we name it
you are going to have to add another room
here my love give me your hand
do you feel that
our baby is saying hello
feel its little foot?
my love it is time
no more time to prepare
just remember i love ya
hi baby mommy loves you
daddy loves you
baby baby don't die
god why u taking my baby
i ain't giving up hope
i want my baby
my baby going to live

522484  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-03-14
Written: (7193 days ago)

why aren't you ever on any more?
Don't you care about me?
where are you?
why don't u at least send me a message?
i worry about you for i don't know what to think
i love you with all my heart
and i don't know what i would do if something went wrong
i am confused on what to do
what can i do that won't make u think the worse of me
why do i ask all these questions
when u aren't even here to help answer them
i just know this...
i love ya

505557  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-25
Written: (7211 days ago)

i miss my sexy man so much i want to kill the bitchy slut tara. baby i love you till my dieing day

502212  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-02-21
Written: (7214 days ago)

I am so confused about my life I don't know what to do I love my man so much I don't think I would still be here if he left me which I know he won't I love You baby 

112318  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-12-14
Written: (7650 days ago)

today turn out to be good slept till noon and then got on the computer got done my careers homework and listen music I am happy for once in a week!-

110485  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-12-09
Written: (7655 days ago)

lots of projects to get done semester tests are on the 18th getting a head start on them.

106027  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2003-11-28
Written: (7665 days ago)

Today started out slow
1)appointment at 9 am
2)volunter work at 1 pm
3)babysitting/spending night at friends 5 pm

105361  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2003-11-27
Written: (7667 days ago)

Days go by don't know where they seem to go to
My life is dark and nothen but blackness
I have found my light though and I hope it doesn't leave me
I don't think I can stand going back into the black space again

102854  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2003-11-21
Written: (7673 days ago)

Life is changing every time i seem to blink my life as turn before my eyes i think of death each time i look back on my life

98431  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-11-11
Written: (7682 days ago)

No school today.

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