[No Longer Afraid]'s diary

621362  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-07-12
Written: (7073 days ago)

Im fighting back emotions Ive never fought back before...Because Im not supposed to love you anymore...


Good song...I take the meaning to heart..

615929  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-07-05
Written: (7080 days ago)

Dashboard Confessional
Vindicated

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine ahead has caught my eye
And roped me in so mesmerizing
It's so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so
Isolated so
Motivated I am
Certain now that I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well

Im seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So tired of the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment for forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current

So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

My hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

611624  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-29
Written: (7086 days ago)

And just when i thought i was feeling fine
Everything changes its just not my time
I should leave maybe run away
You see with blind eyes my suffering

591454  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-06-06
Written: (7109 days ago)

I hate life
and life hates living
Living loves death
and death loves killing
Killing listens to murders
and murders listens to me
Because i hate life
but love killing me

591451  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-06-06
Written: (7109 days ago)

I want to hold my breath for as long as it takes. I want to stop breathing just long enough to know what it would be like to be totally still. Like being just a cough away from death. Not really there-- not really here.


I want to know what it's like to wake up in the morning and be glad I did.


I want to be a rockstar. I want to bang on the drums or wail a guitar so loud, it blows my ears out. Then I wouldn't have to hear anything.


I want to know what to say to keep everybody off my back. Maybe there's one word, one sentence. Hell, I'll even sing a song if I have to.


I want to go someplace where nobody can find me. Not even me.


I want to not feel.


I want to know what the hell I'm doing..


I remember when I believed what people told me. I don't remember what you call that, but I want that back.


I want something nobody can give me- something nobody can get. What the hell is it?


I want to know when the hell all this started.


I want a day off-- from everything.


I want all the questions to stop, I want more answers.


I want to be as far away from me as I can get.


I want to laugh, I think I might remember how to do that.


I want to write my own ending. I'm just not sure what the story is about.


I want some stronger kryptonite. But I'll probably have to make it myself.


I want..to not want.

 The logged in version 

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