Is it efficient or does it kill
With the skill of a cluster bomb?
"More than toast" The Mr T Experience
I'm spending a few days on my own, since my familiy is on vacation. I really should go to the supermarket, I think.
*checks the fridge*
Some lettuce, a few potatoes, coffee and some meat of the one used to make burguers. And that's all.
I'm also running low on milk.
So I should go buy things. Problem is that I don't have money :P Seemss that I'll have to use the credit card. Damn. I'll be paying my lunch in a month. By that moment, it won't be part of my organism anymore. I hate to pay for things that I'm not using.
So, I'm quoting myself because, as [ally] said, I'm a self-admiring narcist... not that there's any other kind of narcist.
Post by [ally]
Hmms no that wuold be too Tarantino-ish.
POst by me:
*imagines the whole secuence*
Escene 1
Outdoors, Backyard, Night
[Viking] and [ally] walk towards the parked car. It's a black car, an old model. There's a bump on the right side and the trunk is slightly open.
[Viking] - The size of the burguer isn't so important as the taste, y'know? And those burguers...
[ally] - Yes, but you end up paying more for less.
[Viking] - Ok, but the toys... they had Starsky and Hutch toys. And I mean the original show ones, not that new flick. D'you know what I mean? Starky And fucking Hutch.
Both hitmen reach the trunk at the same time.
[Viking] - You probably don't know what I'm talking about. You are too young. But back in those days, those were the cops. Now it's all about hitting the suspect and not showing that you are gay.
Viking sighs and opens the trunk.
[ally] - Well... I'm not sure about the cops back then, but I'd say that the one inside the trunk is pretty much dead.
The trunk closes with a loud thud.
Escene 2
Indoors, Street 1, Morning
A man walks slowly in the street. From a car, a big man dressed all in yellow shoots him 567 times. The man falls.
Err... is it normal for sausages to make some kind of whistling noise when you are roasting them?
In the last week I've been almost beheaded twice by doves flying low (well, low for a dove, really low for a plane and incredibly high for a dog). I've seen in "SEinfeld" that there's a pact with them, where we let them use our monuments as bathrooms and they stay out of the way of our cars. Apparently, that pact doesn't apply to my head :P Of course, they are doves. What can be expected of them?
In the last week I've been almost beheaded twice by doves flying low (well, low for a dove, really low for a plane and incredibly high for a dog). I've seen in "SEinfeld" that there's a pact with them, where we let them use our monuments as bathrooms and they stay out of the way of our cars. Apparently, that pact doesn't apply to my head :P Of course, they are doves. What can be expected of them?
Inventamos las heridas // We invented wounds
Para ser más importantes // To be more important
Ya pasó de moda ser feliz // It's now unfashionable to be happy
"Pabellon 0" - Cuentos Borgeanos
The last verse is so true. Being happy is bad. It doesn't sell, at least. Depression and perpetual sadness is a better, cooler image. Weird, uh?
The ouija game is probably the only one that you can play before or after you die.
It's interesting when a toad turns into a prince, but it's a lot funnier when the prince turns into a toad.
Ok, it's time for a couple excerpts from books I'm reading.
First, think think about this:
"I always thought that about that Garden of Eden story," said Ford.
"Eh?"
"Garden of Eden. Tree. Apple. That bit, remember?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from hiding behind a bush shouting 'Gotcha'. It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it"
"Why not?"
"Because if you are dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly they won't give up. They'll get you in the end".
From "The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe", by Douglas Adams
And the dangers of misspelling!
"Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy seraph of Al-Ybi was once cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated. Some two thousand Glods later the spell wore off. These days, the people of Al-Ybi are renowned for being unusually short and bad-tempered"
From "Witches Abroad", by Terry Pratchett
On an unrelated topic, something I ate last night didn't agree with my stomach... or maybe they agreed on having some kind of box fight :P
When a new year begins, most people tend to set goals for themselves, things that they want to accomplish during the 12 months to come. Now, experience and investigation show that 90% or so of those goals never come true. The only persons that manage to accomplish those goals are either the successfull ones, or those that propose themselves goals so small that they are harder to not accomplish than to accomplish (I will eat a candy during the 2 of January isn't a good new year's goal).
Way I see, therefore, there are two paths to follow:
A) Give yourself goals that you won't accomplish and feel bad about it.
B) Propose yourself goals that are impossible. That way, when you fail to reach them you won't feel guilty, because nobody would have been able. It's a small consolation ;)
Of course, I'm going with option 2:
My goals for this year that is starting
1) I'll finally conquer Belgium. It's my year in that aspect.
2) I'll fly to outher space. Moby and the Backstreet guy will come with me.
3) I'll go visit all you important people... Damn, this one hurts me more than anybody else :P Not a good joke.
4) I won't get a cell phone (There are some chances, maybe, that I'll be able to accomplish this one. But not a lot).
5) I won't buy any more music DVDs, so I cna save some money (yeah, right).
A good one that I can't use because I don't buy porn magazines is:
This year I will actually read the magazines for the articles.
In any case, a HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody and, as usual, "to all my friends, well, much grattitude".
"A punk manifesto", by Greg Graffin. Read and understand!
I'd like opinions on the matter, though.
EDIT: I better include the link, or nobody will be able to read or unerstand :P
http://www.bad
People, people, people. You are spoiling me. You are creating habit. Couple weeks ago, a letter from Key. Last week, a package from Mir. Yesterday, a package from Pixie and postcards from Sunrose and Elin. What will I do the day that I don't get anything in the mail? I'll go crazy!
Thanks to everybody for the effort and for making me such a spoiled brat. I swear I'm working on those letters I promised :D
So, Christmas is a most magical time in the year. Really. Totally magical. It's a time of wonders with no end. Magic is really in the air and it can be perceived. And I have proofs. Let's see.
It is the only time of the year where people not only do not worry about a guy dressed up in red and white (the colors of a gang?) entering the house while they are sleeping. Any other day, that would scare the crap out of people and make them hide the good dishes and the tv set. These days, they also make sure that the guy can enter and that the reindeers have things to eat and drink.
Which brings me to the next point. As far as I know, animals aren't allowed in most buildings and making a supervisor change their mind is an almost impossible task. But those damn reindeers are allowed in anyway!
Trees inside houses. Do I need to say more?
Ok, the activities aren't the same all around the world, but in some places, they actually like to show their dirty socks. Normally, that's an offense punisheable by death or, at least, social ostracism.
The same movies seem to be on every TV channel. Then again, that happens every day of the year, so maybe it's not so strange. They also like to show "Jingle all the way". Now, there's no reason to destroy Arnold because of this impossible to stand movie. I mean, there are so many other good reasons that using that one is kinda silly.
Old fat men are part of society once again, at least for a couple days :D
Around the world, in some place, somebody has actually bought a handkerchief. Think about that.
There are many more, of course, but no point in going oever them. In any case, lemme tell you all my friends (and enemies too, after all, I have to be the best guy) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Oh, and as usual "To all my friends, well, much grattitude"
Considering the previous post, I just have to say that I find it amusing, so now I'm going for some more people. That is, I'm gonna steal pictures of you and pass them through the software. I've already done it with Sunrose, so she's safe, but some of you should tremble!
(I accept volunteers. If not, I'm starting with those whose pics are easier to find).
http://www.myh
This site tells you which celebrity you look like. You just upload a picture and it "analyzes". Leaving aside the veracity of it, it's fun.
With the first pic (the first of my selfportrais, "Fierceness") I upload, I got : Natalie Portman 67% certainty (I'm not sure she'll agree), Alicia Keys 65%, Carrie Ann-Moss 62%, Alannis Morissette 62% (Why me!? Why?), Sean Connery 61, Uma Thurman 60%, Leonardo Di Caprio 60% (:P), James Ellroy 59%, Johnny Deep 59% (Ja! I'm cool :D ) and Velle Valo 59%.
All the percentages are kinda low :P
Of course, the pictures look alike :P
I tried one more and the percentages were even lower, but I got Eminem 62%, Angelina Jolie 58%, Bjork 50%, Britney 50% :P, Tarja Turunen 49% (who?), Alaniss Morisette 49% (Again? Bah), Alec Baldwin 48%, Karena Kapoor 47% and Pierce Brosnan 47%.
Ok, I'm stopping now.
This concerning my previous mood: Lennon was the walrus, I'm ET's comic relief.
Ok, despite my mood, I admit that I don't totally get the walrus thing. Ideas about it are welcomed. I would ask Lennon, but... well... y'know... there's a little problem with that.
For those that don't know about it, I'm talking about a song named "I am the walrus" by Lennon.
UPDATE: The smart little snail explained it to me :D
So, I'm 24. That means that I'm officially too old to be a prodigy. From now on, I can only be a guy who become famous when most people do. Also, I've been old enough to move on my own for a couple years, but not a lot of chances of that happening soon. Let see what else...
Now I'm officially too old to commit suicide... and too young too. Suicide is ok when you are a teenager or when you are forty something and totally beaten by life. At 24 you can only commit suicide if you are famous.
Too old to play with action figures, but not too old to "collect" them ;)
Too old to profesionally play any sport, but too young to take on golf (besides that I don't have a finished career).
Society has weird rules, doesn't it?
Tomorrow night, my grandma's house, boring reunion that will include saying bad jokes, eating pizza, drinking coke and beer and playing ping-pong. Everybody is invited, just ask me for the address.
Many thanks to Pix for her wonderful present! It was the the first one I got on my birthday (it was a version of the happy birthday song played and sang by her).
I have to finish some mp3 cds for special people and then go change a book that I was given yesterday, so I better get out of here.