ah christmas. actually this year wasnt too bad. cuz it was the first day in ages tht i havent felt shit or self harmimg. me and my brothers did this big green day thing nd il tell u something i battered th shit out of those drums!! i changed my name 2 tre' coolio for the day too. nd i felt proud to be me for a change. i thought about nothing but my life nd how im gunna cope wen i go back too skool. iv gotta do my best to get over ali, its gunna be so hard hes on my mind all the time, i just wish he cud love me again. but its not gunna happen nd i know it wont, he told one of my best friends spoke 2 him nd he sed he doesnt see me more than a mate...:( but at least he still thinks of me as a friend. nd my scars are healing but theres planty room for more of them if u ask me...i dont care what neone says he is worth it for me. i wish he was ok thts all i wud want if i had 1 wish., i wudnt ask for nething for me it wud all be for him. not tht it matters he doesnt care.....i still do though.