i need a new life, people suck! (besides adam)

today was okay, i had to work after school until seven, then stayed at McDonalds until around seven thirty and came home, i was with Adam which was awesome. I'm still talking to him online actually. He is playing some sort of cool game. Newayz...I probably won't update this for a while cuz tommorrow i have something going on with band, then i gotta rush to work so im not late. then i dont get off til seven and i gotta spend the rest of that night cleaning. Adam gets off work at nine :(. I probably won't be able to see him tommorrow. sunday I'm going with adam to the vo-tech center for a party i think it is, where we all just sit around and play games. Monday, I am going to the doctor to figure out why i have these ugly bumps all over me and to get on birth control. thats gonna suck because mom explained to me what they gotta do to put me on birth control and that is just really gonna suck!! newayz, i gotta go now which also sucks!! I guess I will try and write in you again asap. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

*sniffles* I missed this place!! NEwayz, umm...yea....MY PHONE SUCKS!!!!! adam wants to buy me another one, but I am gonna make sure he doesn't cuz he spoils me already. newayz, not much has happened lately besides me missing elftown!!! so im gonna go....I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!

today, i woke up around seven, took a shower, fed the kids breakfast, dressed them, etc. boring of course, my mom and dad were at the hospital at the time. i didnt get to go to school till eleven ( i missed adam :( ) but its okay cuz he gave me a ride home after school. that rocked! then i went to work, and that went by way too fast besides the last thirty minutes grrr!probably cuz adam was there. newayz i was at his house until about nine, then i came home and went to the wall. I had a ciggerrette for the first time since i got with adam, it will be my last!! It felt good though. then i sang to the stars until about ten thirty. I am trying to find the one song i can sing best ( i think its the titanic one so far) so that i can sing to adam when i get the confidence. i couldnt find the moon but thats okay, cuz i found the brightest star, which happened to be the first one i saw when i stepped out of andys car. coincidence? maybe. that was cool. I made a wish too. well, thats about it, im talking to adam now, so im gonna go. I told him my life's story tonight, ive never told ne one, it was kinda my moms life story though (since shes had me). well, im gonna go now. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!! YOU ARE MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today, i was happy. band was awesome!! katie, nor elizabeth, ( the only clarinets besides me ) showed up today and so i was the only one, which kinda sucked but it was cool, because on one of the songs theres like a part that only clarinets play the melody, and i was the only one playing it...it was like a solo, and i fucking rocked! everyone complimented me. newayz... I went to Adam's after school, and we went to dinner in richmond with mike and andy, which was awesome! then we went to wal-mart and Adam got me a watch and some white roses. that was sooo sweet! god i love him!! newayz i just got home, i should get my laundry in the dryer and see if christina is home ( OMG, i havnt talked to her for like two weeks now...I MISS HER!! shes my best friend ever!! (besides Adam and Jolina and Mike)) well, I guess I gotta go check other mail and stuff. I LOVE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH ADAM!!!!!!!!! YOUR MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Today was awesome! after school, i went straight over to Adam's house. and my dad said that i can use my phone tommorrow. newayz...we had to do some more map testing today, and tommorrow, but its okay, cuz I can go to Adam's afterward! his house was the usual, except i am pretty sure i am in even more love with him after today. god, i love him so much!!! we went to mcdonalds for dinner, andy came of course, then we went to his house, and i tried to sleep in his arms, but of course i never sleep that easily. I just got home, and now i have to clean the kitchen, and my room, and do my laundry, so im gonna get off. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!

i havnt written in a while...been spending time with adam. I am in so much love!! well, today after school, i went to his house, jo came too, for the first time, shes cool, shes a new friend of mine. newayz, i went to a concert after that and just got home around eight thirty. damn! i gotta go, so much for this, ill write again tommorrow, i hope. oh yea, and i just got a cell phone sunday, im soo happy!

today i had to work after school but adam showed up before i clocked out (at 7) I was happy to see him. newayz, i went home, and my parents are still giving me the silent treatment so i spent the night with jo, which was cool cuz she straightened my hair, and we watched horror movies, and it was all wicked awesome. newayz, ive been up a while now, waiting for adam to get on, but i guess he went to bed already or something. yea, well i go in at three tommorrow, and i am going to show him my hair, it is so flipping awesome!! oh, and i have a new word now, fucktard! its stupid, i know, but jo thinks its hilarious. well, im gonna go now, im tired. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

today, morriah (ill just call her the bitch), the bitch was pissed off at my best friend for liking cj, and that pisses me off considering she already has a boyfriend and shes just hurting my friends and making thier lives hell. grrr! one of these days, im gonna show her what its like to be treated like shit. id have to be outta school though, like when i graduate or something (dont wanna bad record) newayz..these country people came into school and played live country music, fun fun....NOT!! the only fucking cool part about it is that i was with adam. after school, i had to stay after and talk to mr. hunter cuz i was having trouble with one part in a song and it was pointless cuz he didnt really help me. but after school i went to wal-mart with andy and got adam a promise ring, i hope he likes it. he was happy to see me. i hung out at his house til eight, and now im here doing this. i love him sooo much, more than...than....hmmm....EVER!!! yes, ever! newayz, i gotta do laundry, and homework and stuff, so i will hopefully update you tommorrow, if i have time. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!

today cj came over till four then i went to adams til eight, andy took me to mcdonalds (adam went to work around seven) and that was cool cuz i got to see him. newayz i really gotta go now, but i will tell you more about today tommorrow, (if i have time) I am working on a surprise for adam (i know hell read this so i wont say what it is) i know hell be happy...he knows what it is, but he doesnt know im working on it at the moment. newayz, i guess i gotta go before i get yelled at...I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!

Today was an off day...boring, depressing, tireing...you know, like it used to be (before adam, i was always depressed). i went to school, got pissed off in band because one of the other clarinet players doesnt know her fucking part and so mr. hunter yelled at all of the clarinets for it, grrr. computer apps was unusually boring....lunch was boring considering i had no one to talk to and it doesnt seem like ne one knows i exist except for adam. seventh hour, i heard that jesse (brothers best friend, one of my ex's) was saying shit about my brother having sex with this girl (Morriah) but it wasnt true, and then bethany started saying that my brother was the one that said it and was telling everybody (which also isnt true) and so now it gave her even more reason to hate me since im his sister. which isnt cool. its kinda hard to believe me and her were friends at the beginning of the year considering were worst enemys now. and if it werent for her, then my best friends would be dating (cj and jay) but cjs worried shell get pissed which will make everyone else pissed and well this sucks so im gonna shutup about the whole situation. newayz... then i came home and did algebra. i got to talk to adam for thirty minutes on the internet before he left for a dinner or something, so here i am just sitting here doing nothing and wondering why im wasting these moments of my life doing nothing..newayz, i was actually happy this morning though (before mom started her shit again...) and im really happy now that i talked to my favorite person in the world, Adam. adam if your reading this, dont worry about me, im still alive, im sure ill be okay tommorrow. well im gonna go for a jog or something to clear my head...I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!

today after school, me and my best friend walked around town for like two hours then adam picked me up, and i hung out with him for awhile...and now im at home and im sad because apparantly we shouldnt be together and its making me mad because i really really love him. newayz, im gonna go now, i feel really depressed, and i need to think

its not the end of the day yet, but i probably wont be on later. newayz, today i cleaned a closet, a cabinet, and the kitchen...still working on my room. newayz, adam had to work today so ive been sad and lonely:( i actually just got back from there...i went to visit him and give him something. i was sooo happy to see him! like extremely cuz ive been in a pissed off mood all day, and it sucks because people have been making me mad and ive been kinda avoiding everybody. newayz...i tend to say that a lot...well moms taking me driving, and i have to eat a little or mom will kill me, so im gonna go now. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!

today andy gave me a ride to work at two...it was pretty much boring until i got off. toma let me off thirty minutes early so i got dressed to go to the movies with adam and andy. andy didnt really stay to watch the movie though. he was getting tickets in the arcade. adam was so cute with his hair all fixed, and his clothes and everything...newayz we watched the amityville horror, it was so awesome. after that we went to mcdonalds and ate some chicken nuggets. we came to my house for a few minutes and said goodbye...:( still getting over that.
newayz, im talking to him on messanger now, he is so sweet! he is now my sexy beast!! I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!

hmmm...i usually dont keep a diary but when i am old and wrinkly and....ewww! newayz...back to the present, i dont wanna think about being old...not much has been going on, well that is a huge lie, i mean theres so much drama and stuff but i wont get into that...i am going to talk about the happy thing in my life right now ( probably the only happy thing) my love! i love him so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. he set up this romantic dinner for me by the lake, it was like the best ever. i want to spend the rest of my life with him...hes my knight in shining armor!!! adam, if your reading this...i will love you forever and i think about you non-stop, i am all yours now. i wish i could give you everything you wanted...i wish i could be with you every second for the rest of my life, (trust me people, im not exaggerating). I love you with my soul and i hope im with you for eternity. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

today adam had interveiw things with the rest of the seniors. it was okay though cuz i got to see him at lunch. he looked weird all dressed up, but still cute as ever!! we had map testing, which was easier then yesterdays and some of my friends and i were playing cards after that. i came home and got ready for work. then andy took me to adams house for like half an hour (which was cool, cuz i want to spend every minute with him).i went to work at four and adam stayed up there with me til he had to get ready to work for five ( we both work at mcdonalds). newayz, i got payed and should have enough for a phone (i hope) im gonna get a picture phone so i can take pictures of adam. i got to eat with adam when he went on break. i stayed up there til like eight then had to go home :(. i came home, picked out an outfit for tommorrow (movies) then took a bath and got on the computer...man this i long....and thats pretty much my day. i think this is a little detailed, but thats okay..i hope. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

love...is a strong word, and means so much and is so complicated, no one can ever understand, nor comprehend it, but everyone shall go through it...as am i, and it tis a scary thing, but it is also the most wonderful. as is life, life is scary and wonderful too and is so unexplainable, and has so much meaning....so much to think about