today was lonely. yesterday was Adam's graduation which was awesome!! I can't believe he's actually graduated!! newayz, today was lonely cuz there's a lot of things going on right now, and i wasnt able to like talk or see Adam...:( but i think im okay. Im gonna talk to him tommorrow and try to work everything out. All I know is it's soo hard for me right now, cuz hes going to be in college and everything. I hope we can stay together. well, I gotta go. cuz i dont really feel like saying anything. I Love you Adam!

today was okay i guess. ummm...dad actually cooked breakfast and i helped (how surprising). i was practicing my clarinet this morning. i got to drive to wal-mart and i picked out two cute things to make into an outfit for Adam's graduation tommorrow. then I came home and worked, i was really busy for the first two hours, then everything was slow. Adam came in at six and doesnt get off til midnight..:(. hopefully i can stay on long enough to say goodnight. newayz, when i got off, he went on break which was really cool, cuz i got to spend a little time with him. then i came home and got everything ready for tommorrow. I also tried to put on some make-up, lol. i never wear make-up EVER!! i think im going to straighten my hair for tommorrow too. newayz, I CAN'T WAIT to see him graduate, it's his big day and im so happy i can be there. i will be playing in the band there tommorrow. i got him a gift too (can't say it though, he might read this) well, i gotta go fight with the straighner and see who wins, lol. peace out. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH ADAM!!

today was not bad, it was Adam's last day of highschool :( it was okay though cuz i got to see him after school, and we had a crew meeting at MickeyD's. I was very hyper at work, it was hilarious!! Adam is still working, and doesn't get off for four minutes approximately. My mom and I got in a huge fight but we made up and she finally relized why im spending so much time with Adam ( in the near future i won't be able to spend like any time with him at all). newayz, i better go, im so happy my mom understands!! i told her that Adam had something planned around 1 tommorrow, at first she said i had to stay home but after i had to explain ALL my stress and EVERYTHING else, she changed her mind and suddenly became the mom ive always wanted....WOAH!!! well, im gonna go, its midnight and i gotta say bye to jo. peace out!

okay, Adam just made me very happy! we went to the waterfall and ran through the woods!! I taught Adam how to fly!!!! I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let's see...ummm, my grandparents (moms side) came down sunday to visit and left monday morning. so far this week has been really slow. today me and Adam are "supposed" to go to the waterfall and then watch the sunset, i know we can't watch the sunset cuz i gotta be home by eight, and we won't have very much time AT ALL to be at the waterfall, cuz right now him and andy are in the city getting haircuts. but it's okay, i will enjoy every second we're together. I have been REALLY depressed lately, a lot of things are going on, but fortunately Adam keeps me happy for the most part. Morriah Gott, a very very hated enemy of mine, said hi to me today, and then complimented me on my bracelet...WTF?? on top of that, Shannon keeps asking me advice about this chic who asked him out that he doesnt even know, then of course my parents won't hardly let me do anything anymore (don't know why), my best friend's brother and pregnant wife are in very critical condition in a hospital and most likely won't survive. AND...when I saw Adam in his graduation gown today, i realized how much im going to miss him when he goes to college and gets a career as a cop and that is really going to suck. and of course my dad is really really sick lately and it's not a good thing. My mom hasn't been doing to good either as far as that goes. My dad wants to move to Kansas City..( :(( ) and that would really suck ass, because my best friends live in this town. I also realized that my job really sucks because i hardly get any money then have to spend most of it on my parents and my savings for a car (hopefully it will get better) and to add on..I have to get off the computer so i can't finish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (im only aloud on an hour at a time). GRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do anymore :(. Adam, if you read this, don't worry about me, eventually i'll get over it. I guess im just making it worse then what it really is. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

today isn't over, so yeah. so far though, i havn't seen Adam, but I am talking to him. I am sooo happy for him!! HE GOT INTO COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!! newayz, i gotta jump up and down and scream in excitement now, so later

today was cool. After I got up and dressed and showered, blah blah blah, i had to clean house, and cook breakfast. Tiffany and CJ came over to keep me comopany, but they left to go to jay's house. well, around one Adam picked me up and we went to his house for about an hour and a half, we played a cool game on xbox. newayz...then we went to the tech center for another hour and a half that was fun. I had so much fun with him. then my day got bad....first when i came home, about twenty minutes after i got home, my mom was telling my sister to go outside and stand so the ambulance would know where to come, i wanted to know what was going on so i went into the back of the house and saw my dad on the floor holding his head and shaking. he couldn't breathe. the ambulance came and took him to the hospital and the doctors said it was because he had basically starved himself, on top of his dieabetes of course. well, I didn't freak out too much, because i was trying to be strong and help with dinner and the kids. Adam really helped me though, he left his party to come to my house and comfort me, god I love him!!! newayz...yea, that was pretty much my day, I am so happy that Adam cares about me that much, i never thought he didn't but he just really made me happy. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a new life, people suck! (besides adam)

today was okay, i had to work after school until seven, then stayed at McDonalds until around seven thirty and came home, i was with Adam which was awesome. I'm still talking to him online actually. He is playing some sort of cool game. Newayz...I probably won't update this for a while cuz tommorrow i have something going on with band, then i gotta rush to work so im not late. then i dont get off til seven and i gotta spend the rest of that night cleaning. Adam gets off work at nine :(. I probably won't be able to see him tommorrow. sunday I'm going with adam to the vo-tech center for a party i think it is, where we all just sit around and play games. Monday, I am going to the doctor to figure out why i have these ugly bumps all over me and to get on birth control. thats gonna suck because mom explained to me what they gotta do to put me on birth control and that is just really gonna suck!! newayz, i gotta go now which also sucks!! I guess I will try and write in you again asap. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

*sniffles* I missed this place!! NEwayz, umm...yea....MY PHONE SUCKS!!!!! adam wants to buy me another one, but I am gonna make sure he doesn't cuz he spoils me already. newayz, not much has happened lately besides me missing elftown!!! so im gonna go....I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!

today, i woke up around seven, took a shower, fed the kids breakfast, dressed them, etc. boring of course, my mom and dad were at the hospital at the time. i didnt get to go to school till eleven ( i missed adam :( ) but its okay cuz he gave me a ride home after school. that rocked! then i went to work, and that went by way too fast besides the last thirty minutes grrr!probably cuz adam was there. newayz i was at his house until about nine, then i came home and went to the wall. I had a ciggerrette for the first time since i got with adam, it will be my last!! It felt good though. then i sang to the stars until about ten thirty. I am trying to find the one song i can sing best ( i think its the titanic one so far) so that i can sing to adam when i get the confidence. i couldnt find the moon but thats okay, cuz i found the brightest star, which happened to be the first one i saw when i stepped out of andys car. coincidence? maybe. that was cool. I made a wish too. well, thats about it, im talking to adam now, so im gonna go. I told him my life's story tonight, ive never told ne one, it was kinda my moms life story though (since shes had me). well, im gonna go now. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!! YOU ARE MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today, i was happy. band was awesome!! katie, nor elizabeth, ( the only clarinets besides me ) showed up today and so i was the only one, which kinda sucked but it was cool, because on one of the songs theres like a part that only clarinets play the melody, and i was the only one playing it...it was like a solo, and i fucking rocked! everyone complimented me. newayz... I went to Adam's after school, and we went to dinner in richmond with mike and andy, which was awesome! then we went to wal-mart and Adam got me a watch and some white roses. that was sooo sweet! god i love him!! newayz i just got home, i should get my laundry in the dryer and see if christina is home ( OMG, i havnt talked to her for like two weeks now...I MISS HER!! shes my best friend ever!! (besides Adam and Jolina and Mike)) well, I guess I gotta go check other mail and stuff. I LOVE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH ADAM!!!!!!!!! YOUR MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Today was awesome! after school, i went straight over to Adam's house. and my dad said that i can use my phone tommorrow. newayz...we had to do some more map testing today, and tommorrow, but its okay, cuz I can go to Adam's afterward! his house was the usual, except i am pretty sure i am in even more love with him after today. god, i love him so much!!! we went to mcdonalds for dinner, andy came of course, then we went to his house, and i tried to sleep in his arms, but of course i never sleep that easily. I just got home, and now i have to clean the kitchen, and my room, and do my laundry, so im gonna get off. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!

i havnt written in a while...been spending time with adam. I am in so much love!! well, today after school, i went to his house, jo came too, for the first time, shes cool, shes a new friend of mine. newayz, i went to a concert after that and just got home around eight thirty. damn! i gotta go, so much for this, ill write again tommorrow, i hope. oh yea, and i just got a cell phone sunday, im soo happy!

today i had to work after school but adam showed up before i clocked out (at 7) I was happy to see him. newayz, i went home, and my parents are still giving me the silent treatment so i spent the night with jo, which was cool cuz she straightened my hair, and we watched horror movies, and it was all wicked awesome. newayz, ive been up a while now, waiting for adam to get on, but i guess he went to bed already or something. yea, well i go in at three tommorrow, and i am going to show him my hair, it is so flipping awesome!! oh, and i have a new word now, fucktard! its stupid, i know, but jo thinks its hilarious. well, im gonna go now, im tired. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

today, morriah (ill just call her the bitch), the bitch was pissed off at my best friend for liking cj, and that pisses me off considering she already has a boyfriend and shes just hurting my friends and making thier lives hell. grrr! one of these days, im gonna show her what its like to be treated like shit. id have to be outta school though, like when i graduate or something (dont wanna bad record) newayz..these country people came into school and played live country music, fun fun....NOT!! the only fucking cool part about it is that i was with adam. after school, i had to stay after and talk to mr. hunter cuz i was having trouble with one part in a song and it was pointless cuz he didnt really help me. but after school i went to wal-mart with andy and got adam a promise ring, i hope he likes it. he was happy to see me. i hung out at his house til eight, and now im here doing this. i love him sooo much, more than...than....hmmm....EVER!!! yes, ever! newayz, i gotta do laundry, and homework and stuff, so i will hopefully update you tommorrow, if i have time. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!

today cj came over till four then i went to adams til eight, andy took me to mcdonalds (adam went to work around seven) and that was cool cuz i got to see him. newayz i really gotta go now, but i will tell you more about today tommorrow, (if i have time) I am working on a surprise for adam (i know hell read this so i wont say what it is) i know hell be happy...he knows what it is, but he doesnt know im working on it at the moment. newayz, i guess i gotta go before i get yelled at...I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!

Today was an off day...boring, depressing, tireing...you know, like it used to be (before adam, i was always depressed). i went to school, got pissed off in band because one of the other clarinet players doesnt know her fucking part and so mr. hunter yelled at all of the clarinets for it, grrr. computer apps was unusually boring....lunch was boring considering i had no one to talk to and it doesnt seem like ne one knows i exist except for adam. seventh hour, i heard that jesse (brothers best friend, one of my ex's) was saying shit about my brother having sex with this girl (Morriah) but it wasnt true, and then bethany started saying that my brother was the one that said it and was telling everybody (which also isnt true) and so now it gave her even more reason to hate me since im his sister. which isnt cool. its kinda hard to believe me and her were friends at the beginning of the year considering were worst enemys now. and if it werent for her, then my best friends would be dating (cj and jay) but cjs worried shell get pissed which will make everyone else pissed and well this sucks so im gonna shutup about the whole situation. newayz... then i came home and did algebra. i got to talk to adam for thirty minutes on the internet before he left for a dinner or something, so here i am just sitting here doing nothing and wondering why im wasting these moments of my life doing nothing..newayz, i was actually happy this morning though (before mom started her shit again...) and im really happy now that i talked to my favorite person in the world, Adam. adam if your reading this, dont worry about me, im still alive, im sure ill be okay tommorrow. well im gonna go for a jog or something to clear my head...I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!

today after school, me and my best friend walked around town for like two hours then adam picked me up, and i hung out with him for awhile...and now im at home and im sad because apparantly we shouldnt be together and its making me mad because i really really love him. newayz, im gonna go now, i feel really depressed, and i need to think

its not the end of the day yet, but i probably wont be on later. newayz, today i cleaned a closet, a cabinet, and the kitchen...still working on my room. newayz, adam had to work today so ive been sad and lonely:( i actually just got back from there...i went to visit him and give him something. i was sooo happy to see him! like extremely cuz ive been in a pissed off mood all day, and it sucks because people have been making me mad and ive been kinda avoiding everybody. newayz...i tend to say that a lot...well moms taking me driving, and i have to eat a little or mom will kill me, so im gonna go now. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!