okay, yesterday was okay, I stayed in art club, but of course that didnt go like I hoped. I basically stayed up all night working on a portrait of mathew, and that didn't go too well so im going to start over now that i know his common feautures in his face and the little details...nevermind, im talking art again. anyway...today after school all four of us are going to the doctor by four, I mean of the older kids, matt and kat have already been, and matt is getting amonia..however you spell it. my mom is getting it too. but apparantly my parents are being super nice for no reason and are going to get my car fixed next week since they can't get my money back that they borrowed, and getting my car running is basically gonna cover that. they are also going to take me driving more when im ungrounded and let me get my license. NEway, I still am thinking about Adam every moment, and for some odd reason im not totally stressed out as usual because I still E-mail him and stuff. and I am a little depressed that I can't see him to talk to him and hear is voice though. I Love him and I miss him so much! I have to go now, I will write next monday. Later.

i cant see Adam!!!! grrr! I am going to join the art club today, which is so cool! Mike, Andy, and my parents are going to talk today, which is a little scary. NEwayz, I hope you can read this Adam, I Love you so much sweety. I have to go. I am off today! I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!

21 DAYS TIL MY SUFFERING IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! twenty-one days until i get to see my baby again. it's exactly three weeks from today..my sixteenth b-day. god i can't wait. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a lot has happened....rockfest, got my cell phone, school is out.....ya know the usual. around christmas, me and my family are going on vacation to oklahoma for a few days then to Dallas Texas to see my dying great grandmother. how fun...lol. newayz...Adam has a new job at Wal-mart now which reall sucks and....i dont know, writing in this is pointless so im gonna stop now.

today was lonely. yesterday was Adam's graduation which was awesome!! I can't believe he's actually graduated!! newayz, today was lonely cuz there's a lot of things going on right now, and i wasnt able to like talk or see Adam...:( but i think im okay. Im gonna talk to him tommorrow and try to work everything out. All I know is it's soo hard for me right now, cuz hes going to be in college and everything. I hope we can stay together. well, I gotta go. cuz i dont really feel like saying anything. I Love you Adam!

today was okay i guess. ummm...dad actually cooked breakfast and i helped (how surprising). i was practicing my clarinet this morning. i got to drive to wal-mart and i picked out two cute things to make into an outfit for Adam's graduation tommorrow. then I came home and worked, i was really busy for the first two hours, then everything was slow. Adam came in at six and doesnt get off til midnight..:(. hopefully i can stay on long enough to say goodnight. newayz, when i got off, he went on break which was really cool, cuz i got to spend a little time with him. then i came home and got everything ready for tommorrow. I also tried to put on some make-up, lol. i never wear make-up EVER!! i think im going to straighten my hair for tommorrow too. newayz, I CAN'T WAIT to see him graduate, it's his big day and im so happy i can be there. i will be playing in the band there tommorrow. i got him a gift too (can't say it though, he might read this) well, i gotta go fight with the straighner and see who wins, lol. peace out. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH ADAM!!

today was not bad, it was Adam's last day of highschool :( it was okay though cuz i got to see him after school, and we had a crew meeting at MickeyD's. I was very hyper at work, it was hilarious!! Adam is still working, and doesn't get off for four minutes approximately. My mom and I got in a huge fight but we made up and she finally relized why im spending so much time with Adam ( in the near future i won't be able to spend like any time with him at all). newayz, i better go, im so happy my mom understands!! i told her that Adam had something planned around 1 tommorrow, at first she said i had to stay home but after i had to explain ALL my stress and EVERYTHING else, she changed her mind and suddenly became the mom ive always wanted....WOAH!!! well, im gonna go, its midnight and i gotta say bye to jo. peace out!

okay, Adam just made me very happy! we went to the waterfall and ran through the woods!! I taught Adam how to fly!!!! I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let's see...ummm, my grandparents (moms side) came down sunday to visit and left monday morning. so far this week has been really slow. today me and Adam are "supposed" to go to the waterfall and then watch the sunset, i know we can't watch the sunset cuz i gotta be home by eight, and we won't have very much time AT ALL to be at the waterfall, cuz right now him and andy are in the city getting haircuts. but it's okay, i will enjoy every second we're together. I have been REALLY depressed lately, a lot of things are going on, but fortunately Adam keeps me happy for the most part. Morriah Gott, a very very hated enemy of mine, said hi to me today, and then complimented me on my bracelet...WTF?? on top of that, Shannon keeps asking me advice about this chic who asked him out that he doesnt even know, then of course my parents won't hardly let me do anything anymore (don't know why), my best friend's brother and pregnant wife are in very critical condition in a hospital and most likely won't survive. AND...when I saw Adam in his graduation gown today, i realized how much im going to miss him when he goes to college and gets a career as a cop and that is really going to suck. and of course my dad is really really sick lately and it's not a good thing. My mom hasn't been doing to good either as far as that goes. My dad wants to move to Kansas City..( :(( ) and that would really suck ass, because my best friends live in this town. I also realized that my job really sucks because i hardly get any money then have to spend most of it on my parents and my savings for a car (hopefully it will get better) and to add on..I have to get off the computer so i can't finish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (im only aloud on an hour at a time). GRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do anymore :(. Adam, if you read this, don't worry about me, eventually i'll get over it. I guess im just making it worse then what it really is. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

today isn't over, so yeah. so far though, i havn't seen Adam, but I am talking to him. I am sooo happy for him!! HE GOT INTO COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!! newayz, i gotta jump up and down and scream in excitement now, so later

today was cool. After I got up and dressed and showered, blah blah blah, i had to clean house, and cook breakfast. Tiffany and CJ came over to keep me comopany, but they left to go to jay's house. well, around one Adam picked me up and we went to his house for about an hour and a half, we played a cool game on xbox. newayz...then we went to the tech center for another hour and a half that was fun. I had so much fun with him. then my day got bad....first when i came home, about twenty minutes after i got home, my mom was telling my sister to go outside and stand so the ambulance would know where to come, i wanted to know what was going on so i went into the back of the house and saw my dad on the floor holding his head and shaking. he couldn't breathe. the ambulance came and took him to the hospital and the doctors said it was because he had basically starved himself, on top of his dieabetes of course. well, I didn't freak out too much, because i was trying to be strong and help with dinner and the kids. Adam really helped me though, he left his party to come to my house and comfort me, god I love him!!! newayz...yea, that was pretty much my day, I am so happy that Adam cares about me that much, i never thought he didn't but he just really made me happy. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a new life, people suck! (besides adam)

today was okay, i had to work after school until seven, then stayed at McDonalds until around seven thirty and came home, i was with Adam which was awesome. I'm still talking to him online actually. He is playing some sort of cool game. Newayz...I probably won't update this for a while cuz tommorrow i have something going on with band, then i gotta rush to work so im not late. then i dont get off til seven and i gotta spend the rest of that night cleaning. Adam gets off work at nine :(. I probably won't be able to see him tommorrow. sunday I'm going with adam to the vo-tech center for a party i think it is, where we all just sit around and play games. Monday, I am going to the doctor to figure out why i have these ugly bumps all over me and to get on birth control. thats gonna suck because mom explained to me what they gotta do to put me on birth control and that is just really gonna suck!! newayz, i gotta go now which also sucks!! I guess I will try and write in you again asap. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!

*sniffles* I missed this place!! NEwayz, umm...yea....MY PHONE SUCKS!!!!! adam wants to buy me another one, but I am gonna make sure he doesn't cuz he spoils me already. newayz, not much has happened lately besides me missing elftown!!! so im gonna go....I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!

today, i woke up around seven, took a shower, fed the kids breakfast, dressed them, etc. boring of course, my mom and dad were at the hospital at the time. i didnt get to go to school till eleven ( i missed adam :( ) but its okay cuz he gave me a ride home after school. that rocked! then i went to work, and that went by way too fast besides the last thirty minutes grrr!probably cuz adam was there. newayz i was at his house until about nine, then i came home and went to the wall. I had a ciggerrette for the first time since i got with adam, it will be my last!! It felt good though. then i sang to the stars until about ten thirty. I am trying to find the one song i can sing best ( i think its the titanic one so far) so that i can sing to adam when i get the confidence. i couldnt find the moon but thats okay, cuz i found the brightest star, which happened to be the first one i saw when i stepped out of andys car. coincidence? maybe. that was cool. I made a wish too. well, thats about it, im talking to adam now, so im gonna go. I told him my life's story tonight, ive never told ne one, it was kinda my moms life story though (since shes had me). well, im gonna go now. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!! YOU ARE MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today, i was happy. band was awesome!! katie, nor elizabeth, ( the only clarinets besides me ) showed up today and so i was the only one, which kinda sucked but it was cool, because on one of the songs theres like a part that only clarinets play the melody, and i was the only one playing it...it was like a solo, and i fucking rocked! everyone complimented me. newayz... I went to Adam's after school, and we went to dinner in richmond with mike and andy, which was awesome! then we went to wal-mart and Adam got me a watch and some white roses. that was sooo sweet! god i love him!! newayz i just got home, i should get my laundry in the dryer and see if christina is home ( OMG, i havnt talked to her for like two weeks now...I MISS HER!! shes my best friend ever!! (besides Adam and Jolina and Mike)) well, I guess I gotta go check other mail and stuff. I LOVE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH ADAM!!!!!!!!! YOUR MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Today was awesome! after school, i went straight over to Adam's house. and my dad said that i can use my phone tommorrow. newayz...we had to do some more map testing today, and tommorrow, but its okay, cuz I can go to Adam's afterward! his house was the usual, except i am pretty sure i am in even more love with him after today. god, i love him so much!!! we went to mcdonalds for dinner, andy came of course, then we went to his house, and i tried to sleep in his arms, but of course i never sleep that easily. I just got home, and now i have to clean the kitchen, and my room, and do my laundry, so im gonna get off. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!

i havnt written in a while...been spending time with adam. I am in so much love!! well, today after school, i went to his house, jo came too, for the first time, shes cool, shes a new friend of mine. newayz, i went to a concert after that and just got home around eight thirty. damn! i gotta go, so much for this, ill write again tommorrow, i hope. oh yea, and i just got a cell phone sunday, im soo happy!