It doesn't surprise me when they fight anymore.
I just can't wait to move out.

P.S.
I met a girl who likes Jawbreaker
and it was an instant crush.

[I think I'm kidding about the crush thing, but regardless, she's radical.]

Fucking emo kids.

I hate everyone.
Except Wes.
And Nate.
But other than that..
I really really hate people.

Did I forget to mention
that heroin
is an evil drug?
But
I love it.
So.
Fuckyou.

Now I know why
whatshisface
gave me that hideous look
when I was leaving.
You said
that you wouldn't fuck me.
And you did anyway.
Sorry for talking so much about it.
But I can't get over how fucked up the situation is.

P.S.
There's about 5 entries for today.
Scroll down, read some more.

I'm a sucker for black guys.
FuckyouGoodbye.

By the way,
since I have so much
to talk about..
I really can't stand the way I hate
every Puerto Rican person I meet.
Because
I love being Puerto Rican.
But
I hate Puerto Ricans.

You bit my fucking lip and it hurt.
Also, I have bite marks on my shoulder or close around there.
And..
I have random bruises on my leg.
So.

I don't like him.
But..
I like the way he is.
Which doesn't make sense.
Because at first
he was an asshole.
"Take off your god damn pants"
Thanks.
When he's drunk it's funny.
And I think..
When he's drunk is the only time I like him.
But..
I've only seen him drunk.
The other times
didn't count.
Because..
I don't want them to.

I want everything to be the same.
But this morning, I woke up.
I spent last night in an hotel room with a zillion other people, most of them guys.
I spent last night listening to Marilyn Manson's best album,
Mechanical Animals.

I'm dirty.
And people love me.
And people who don't love me
absolutely love to hate me.
Because they can't be me.
Fuck you.
I really hate people.
Except maybe..
A couple of people.
Besides that..
I'm a motherfucking elitist.

I'd like to say it was cool and sensual.
But it wasn't.
It was filthy and raw.

And I fucking loved it.

Oh honestly, I was begging for more.
And it was adorable.
And then I hated myself afterwards.

I don't need friends.

Saw Jizzy last night.
For like an hour.

Rico said I sounded fucked up on that message.
I just remembered him saying that.
Hah.
I was fucked up.
I'm going to Houston friday.
I get to see Jawad.
=)
[Hey Wes, look, I'm obsessing again *rolls eyes*]
Anyways...
I have a gig the 28th.
Which is thursday.
At the Broken Spoke.
I'm excited.
Anyways... I'm going.
Well, I'm not going anywhere but I'm done typing.
So yeah.

Me + Rico + Jordan = hung out tonight.

It was.....

Guess who I might hang out with tonight?
I really could care less what you think, baby doll.

You'll never understand, darlin.
Quit trying to.

There was a party last night.
Next door.
So I went.
Yes, Chelsea, fuck you.
I also hung out with Wes for like, 15 minutes.
Another thing Chelsea doesn't aprove of.
Baby, one day you'll see.
I'm a big girl.
I take care of myself.
Wes can't hurt me.
It's not possible.
I don't fall that easily, and you know that.
Plus, Wes is too awesome to do that.
At this party...
Josh, 18. Ricky, 19. Brandon, 19. James, 19.
Some other random guys who were like, 18/19/20.
James and Brandon.
Good times.
I think I called Wes/Rico or something.
But all I remember saying is my phone number over and over.
And telling him to call.
That he should call.
I probably sounded like a retard.
Sorry, Wes.

[I need :] Commitment
[I find :] Nothing
[I want :] Something I can leap for in hope that someone will catch me.
[I have :] A lot of bad habits
[I wish :] I was different
[I hate :] Me
[I fear :] Love
[I am :] Agnostic
[I love :] Chelsea Dorianna Allen
[I miss :] Chelsea Dorianna Allen
[I feel :] Scared
[I smell :] Like coconuts, baby
[I hear :] ZZ Top
[I know :] Everything
[I crave :] A touch, a voice, something or someone
[I should :] Be dead
[I search :] For commitment
[I wonder :] Why?
[I regret :] Nothing at all.