Did I forget to mention
that heroin
is an evil drug?
But
I love it.
So.
Fuckyou.
Now I know why
whatshisface
gave me that hideous look
when I was leaving.
You said
that you wouldn't fuck me.
And you did anyway.
Sorry for talking so much about it.
But I can't get over how fucked up the situation is.
P.S.
There's about 5 entries for today.
Scroll down, read some more.
I'm a sucker for black guys.
FuckyouGoodbye
By the way,
since I have so much
to talk about..
I really can't stand the way I hate
every Puerto Rican person I meet.
Because
I love being Puerto Rican.
But
I hate Puerto Ricans.
You bit my fucking lip and it hurt.
Also, I have bite marks on my shoulder or close around there.
And..
I have random bruises on my leg.
So.
I don't like him.
But..
I like the way he is.
Which doesn't make sense.
Because at first
he was an asshole.
"Take off your god damn pants"
Thanks.
When he's drunk it's funny.
And I think..
When he's drunk is the only time I like him.
But..
I've only seen him drunk.
The other times
didn't count.
Because..
I don't want them to.
I want everything to be the same.
But this morning, I woke up.
I spent last night in an hotel room with a zillion other people, most of them guys.
I spent last night listening to Marilyn Manson's best album,
Mechanical Animals.
I'm dirty.
And people love me.
And people who don't love me
absolutely love to hate me.
Because they can't be me.
Fuck you.
I really hate people.
Except maybe..
A couple of people.
Besides that..
I'm a motherfucking elitist.
I'd like to say it was cool and sensual. But it wasn't. It was filthy and raw.And I fucking loved it. Oh honestly, I was begging for more. And it was adorable. And then I hated myself afterwards.
Saw Jizzy last night.
For like an hour.
Rico said I sounded fucked up on that message.
I just remembered him saying that.
Hah.
I was fucked up.
I'm going to Houston friday.
I get to see Jawad.
=)
[Hey Wes, look, I'm obsessing again *rolls eyes*]
Anyways...
I have a gig the 28th.
Which is thursday.
At the Broken Spoke.
I'm excited.
Anyways... I'm going.
Well, I'm not going anywhere but I'm done typing.
So yeah.
Me + Rico + Jordan = hung out tonight.
It was.....
Guess who I might hang out with tonight?
I really could care less what you think, baby doll.
You'll never understand, darlin.
Quit trying to.
There was a party last night.
Next door.
So I went.
Yes, Chelsea, fuck you.
I also hung out with Wes for like, 15 minutes.
Another thing Chelsea doesn't aprove of.
Baby, one day you'll see.
I'm a big girl.
I take care of myself.
Wes can't hurt me.
It's not possible.
I don't fall that easily, and you know that.
Plus, Wes is too awesome to do that.
At this party...
Josh, 18. Ricky, 19. Brandon, 19. James, 19.
Some other random guys who were like, 18/19/20.
James and Brandon.
Good times.
I think I called Wes/Rico or something.
But all I remember saying is my phone number over and over.
And telling him to call.
That he should call.
I probably sounded like a retard.
Sorry, Wes.
[I need :] Commitment
[I find :] Nothing
[I want :] Something I can leap for in hope that someone will catch me.
[I have :] A lot of bad habits
[I wish :] I was different
[I hate :] Me
[I fear :] Love
[I am :] Agnostic
[I love :] Chelsea Dorianna Allen
[I miss :] Chelsea Dorianna Allen
[I feel :] Scared
[I smell :] Like coconuts, baby
[I hear :] ZZ Top
[I know :] Everything
[I crave :] A touch, a voice, something or someone
[I should :] Be dead
[I search :] For commitment
[I wonder :] Why?
[I regret :] Nothing at all.
People are finally answering fuck no to my poll question.
It makes me smile, big time.
=)
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:41:57
Comment in 43637257
hey bitch.....suk my dick...deep throat..
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:42:52
Unread
Comment to: 43637231
Um.
OKAY SURE!
o.O
And then I'll bite it off, k?
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:53:53
Never read before
Comment to: 43637257
hahahha nah uwouldn;t bite it off..its too hard...u would need sharks teeth to bite my dik off..lol..
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:54:58
Unread
Comment to: 43637630
Um.
Ew.
GoDieKthx.
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:57:19
Never read before
Comment to: 43637666
hahhahaahhah dont take everything seriusly hahah ..im just having some fun
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:57:53
Unread
Comment to: 43637736
Well,
in that case...
Fuck you.
You called me a bitch.
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:57:43
Never read before
Comment to: 43637736
im sure u wouldnt mind it....
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 09:58:44
Unread
Comment to: 43637744
Mind sucking your dick?
Sorry, better offers.
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:01:59
Never read before
Comment to: 43637749
lol it was a compliment
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:03:34
Never read before
Comment to: 43637773
yea of course..that coz u live in the us..we r far away so u cant do it....i understand that....but just imagine that size 17
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:04:23
Unread
Comment to: 43637897
Maybe in your wet dreams, darlin.
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:10:20
Never read before
Comment to: 43637917
no way.....dont u belive me its 17 cm...?? y dont u see it for ur self
From: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
To: [gengstasdeath]
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:10:49
Unread
Comment to: 43638042
Why don't I not?
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:12:59
Never read before
Comment to: 43638053
u have see that huge penis..get inspired.. i dont think u could deep throat my dick..i mena its too big. it wouldnt fit....15-16 cm hardly fits
From: [gengstasdeath]
To: [Keep Out Of Reach Of Children.] (♥everyone elsedoesn'tmat
Sent mail 2005-07-21 10:13:45
Comment to: 43638129
tok to u soon..gtg now bye.i mite be bak on in 45 min..bye
For real, this time.
280-0784.
Just don't call after 10pm.
GoDieKthx.
FUCK YOU.
fuck every single one of you.
People who I know in real life, you're excused from this..
(alli, wes, chels)
BUT FUCK EVERYONE ELSE.
None of you care.
I'm just another person on the internet.
SO FUCK THE INTERNET.
Fuck you guys.
Alli, Wes, Chels.
Call me anytime.
You know the number.