I've done some things.. things that i am not proud of.. but i am trying to make them better.. fixing what i need to fix.. and changing what i need to change..

.. [ Even the best fall down sometimes ] ..
          (Yes i stole that from a pop trendy
          song.. Even though i would love to harm
          the band memebers.. but it stuck in my
          mind..)

Does it mean anything that I'm doing everything i can to make things right.. 
Does it mean anything that I have to live every day with knowing what i did..


But just becuase i did what i did.. (yes it was horrible) but still doesnt give you the privaledge to punish me as tho i have no soul.. treat me like i have no heart or feelings..
Treat me like [ shit ]..


I love you..
           But i love [ myself ] too..

I'll alwayz be alone.. I'm convinced

Just want ot fuckin scream..

:+: You [wouldn't] know a good thing if it came up and slit your [throat]:+:

Today couldnt get any worse... Nothings going the way i want it too..

1). going to rain on my birthday party tomorrow( normally i wouldnt mind, i would be extatic.. but since its out side and people dont want to come.. not so good anymore )
2). the only person i want to be there.. isnt going to be.. seems like the one day of the year that i celebrate because i was brought into the world... doesnt matter to that person..
3). moms being a bitch.. cant get her out of my face so i.. made her.. *screams*
4). everything was perfect yesterday! ... why not today?