guarding myself from the love of another...


</3 Note to self: I Miss You

*Note To Self*

Passing Time is my Favorite Time.. XD

And then there was "hidden subscriptions"

little things like that make my day.. oh lordy..

No more posts, because i guess.. I'm not allowed to express how i feel on here.. <//3

Eating my words :X..

-sighs-
*10-11-05* the day i broke his heart.. -looks down-

I tried.. im in love but your not the person i fell in love with.. i fell in love with a dream of what you could be.. but day after day you've shown my that you'll never be that person..

i tried.. but it doesnt seem like you did..
Your words mean nothing if you dont feel them too..


Burnt out flame of a love that would never have died until your deception..

If i dont love you.. how come it hurts like i do?

-Having trouble with my lighter... hehe-

-Brian on the dock- i <3 you brian.. lol my girlfriend soo wants you! lol hah-

-*wiffs away smokey cloud* lol boys will be boys-

-Striking a pose?- haha

-Ian hiding and smoking a cigg..- -blah-

-hands up!!- i'm going to strip search you bwaahaha.. hehe jk..

-Brian and his sexy poses.. oye lol :)-

-Disco? lol-

-Doesnt that picture look like an add for something? .. ehem.. or.. uhh.. not :P



goood weekend..
tubing ([for everyone else]),
boats([which are now my best friend]),
water([='s me staying in the boat]),
ciggs([-smiles-]),
food ([ every 2 hours ]),
bugs([ewwy])..
spiders named evil.. falling off tubs and freaking out cuz i cant swim cuz i suck.. lol

oye, goood weekend :-)

what ever

I've done some things.. things that i am not proud of.. but i am trying to make them better.. fixing what i need to fix.. and changing what i need to change..

.. [ Even the best fall down sometimes ] ..
          (Yes i stole that from a pop trendy
          song.. Even though i would love to harm
          the band memebers.. but it stuck in my
          mind..)

Does it mean anything that I'm doing everything i can to make things right.. 
Does it mean anything that I have to live every day with knowing what i did..


But just becuase i did what i did.. (yes it was horrible) but still doesnt give you the privaledge to punish me as tho i have no soul.. treat me like i have no heart or feelings..
Treat me like [ shit ]..


I love you..
           But i love [ myself ] too..

I'll alwayz be alone.. I'm convinced

Just want ot fuckin scream..

:+: You [wouldn't] know a good thing if it came up and slit your [throat]:+:

Today couldnt get any worse... Nothings going the way i want it too..

1). going to rain on my birthday party tomorrow( normally i wouldnt mind, i would be extatic.. but since its out side and people dont want to come.. not so good anymore )
2). the only person i want to be there.. isnt going to be.. seems like the one day of the year that i celebrate because i was brought into the world... doesnt matter to that person..
3). moms being a bitch.. cant get her out of my face so i.. made her.. *screams*
4). everything was perfect yesterday! ... why not today?