ET: Member blog

[Gem In Eye]'s diary

801525 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-06-01
Written: (6749 days ago)

Next in thread: 801588

ahhhh, my best short story ever..... i think i wrote this over christmas break this year:

A Sad Story Of Two Lovers
Once upon a time, there was a girl of fifteen. She fell in love, not with one, but two. One of the men knew it for sure. She told him every time she saw him. They had fallen into such a love, the bond was unbreakable, or so they thought. He told her, that she was all he wanted in life, and that one day she’d be his wife. They would grow old and have children who would be blessed with a love as grand as their parents'. Then they would have kids with the same blessing and would grow old with their lovers. They both knew they were made for each other. He loved her and she knew it. Then one day, when things were growing astray, they agreed to leave each other. For the health and safety, so they could be together again later. Things had gone so wrong and neither knew why, but they knew they’d be together again, someday. She loved him so much, and he knew it. She loved another, but the other knew as well, she was almost certain. The way he used to hold her, so sweet. The way he would caress her, hug her, smile was so comforting. She knew he was for her, was at least a part of her. He hinted and suggested that she was imagining, but when he didn’t pay attention, he told her otherwise. She would hold him, and touch him, and smile, and laugh, but he would do the same. She knew if she waited too long she would lose him forever. So she decided one fateful day, to make her move. She was ready and knew “this is it.” She walked up to him expecting to see the same old guy. She looked into his eyes and saw a happiness there that had never existed. She asked him why he was so joyous, with a smile of course. She tried to hug him, but he was too jittery. He told her, that the girl of his dreams had gotten so close to him. He told her, the dream girl was the one. She held her hopes up so high and asked him what he meant. She knew that he would say he loved her so much, and would see the dream girl was she. He opened his mouth and said, “The dream girl, the one I’m in love with, has been right here all along. I thought I would have to search for her, but I realized she was here all along.” She looked deeply into his eyes to connect with his soul, and she shuddered. She saw him, not looking into her but at her. He said the dream girl’s name, and it was not the name she was expecting. All this time she loved him, and she turned to him, but he loved someone else. She pretended like she was so happy for him, but inside she was dying. After that, every one asked her if she was okay, and her reply was “Trust me, I’m fine; I’m okay I promise.” She became a walking shell of sadness. Still they would all ask, even the ones she loved. Slowly, the one with the dream girl faded from her, more and more. He asked her less and less. Finally she reached to him, and tried to explain, but no words left her. He asked her how she was. Instead of insisting she was okay, and promising, she said, “Trust me, I’m not fine; I’m not okay, I promise.” Then she turned and walked away. He didn’t follow her, and that satisfied her, but inside she wished he had. He just sat here and watched her leave; he watched her disappear. The further she got form him, the harder it was to control herself. The further she got from him, the closer to death she grew. The further she got from him, the more the tears came. Once she was out of sight, the boy left in the opposite direction. He grew even more confused as to who he really loved. The girl ran to her old love, to see if he had been true, and wanted to hold him, but he had changed. He did not love her anymore. She ran home, and pulled out all the old notes her latest love had written her. She read all his emails, all his poems, and remembered all of their old memories. She searched for any shreds of the love she gave him returned. She saw hints, and no solid thoughts of him loving her. So, she turned to her collection of his safety pins, and the one razor he gave her. She thought, “I’m so sorry, but I must break my promise to you. I know we vowed to live and die together, but I made this promise for a different reason. I made it because I loved you. You made it because you like me. I’m so sorry, but know that now I will finally be okay; I will finally be fine. Know that I love you more than my own life, which is why I did this……for you.” then she began that slow process that would mean that soon she would die. That same night he had so many nightmares of the recent pain he caused her. He could sleep no more, so he logged onto his computer. He knew she was gone forever, so he was surprised when he saw she sent him an email. It had been sent to him just 5 minutes before he woke up. He opened and read it. He read it, and reread it, over and over again. “You are my world. You are my heaven and hell, my life and death. I love you, so much. I love you more than I love myself, more than my life. Without your love, I would die. It’s hard to die with you, if my only cause of death is the lack of your love, when it’s clear there is no way it will make you die. Once again, without your love, I would die.” He thought to himself of how he did really love her, and without her love he would die. Still alive, he realized, she really did love him as much as he had loved her, all this time. “Without her love, I’d die, but without her I’d die as well, and I’ve lost her. She’s gone forever and it’s my fault. Well at least she has my love now. At least she can keep on living……wait, she had lost my love already. Oh no!” It had finally clicked why she had sent him the email. She lost his love, and lost her life. He jumped on his bike and took off. He didn’t stop peddling until he reached her door. He leapt off the bike and crashed through her front door, where he ran all the way to her room. He saw her sitting up against her bed, on the floor. He walked slowly up to her and whispered softly “I LOVE YOU”. He smiled, “I do. I really do. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.” He crouched down and looked into her eyes. They were filled with tears, but cold. They were cold, and lifeless. Holding his breath he reached towards her and grabbed the blanket she had snuggled up with. He pulled it off and fell backwards. Her white skin was whiter and covered with small scrapes and cuts. There were three safety pins strewn out around her and one razorblade clutched in her hand. he sat next to her and pulled her toward him. though the blood and quiet indicated that she was dead, she was still breathing. She whimpered and he held her close. “Remember when we said we could never live alone? Do you remember when I promised you that you could take me with you, when you died? Well now we die together.” Though she was fading fast, she heard him and barely moving, told him she loved him. Her arm, so weak and shaking, pulled itself up and clutched the collar of his hoodie. She leaned her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. He softly pulled the razor out of her other hand, and pushed it again his neck. “I love you, and I always will.” Quickly he pushed harder and deeper, then sliced the blade across his neck. As the blood began to pour down from his thorau, he leaned his head onto the top of hers. Soon thereafter, he, too, grew still and cold. His other hand still wrapped around her shoulders, her hand still clutched to his collar, they slept. As their memories rested, they never forgot what they lost, and they never awoke, even after the seasons ended and the rain stopped.

(--This story was written for the fact that I knew it was a beautiful story. I wrote it while listening to “My Chemical Romance” ’s I’m Not Okay (I Promise) and “Greenday” ’s Wake Me Up When September Ends. Some of the beginning and some of the ending have a few lines that may be similar to the songs’ lyrics. I sincerely hope the artists do not mind. For the readers, the story is not based off of a true story, but rather, based off of a story that may become true. This is a story that is morbidly bittersweet. Though the story is dark and depressing from the beginning to the end, it is a perfect love story, and if it becomes true, the merrier I shall be, simply because of how strong the love is. At the same time, I sincerely wish for it to remain a piece of fictional literature and nothing more.)

801494 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-06-01
Written: (6749 days ago)

Next in thread: 801508

Some more old work:

Will you make it go away?
Can you promise to not lie?
Will you protect me from my pain?
I ask these questions, but do you know why?
I do because I need your word.
You see, I’ve been hurt more than once.
I ask even though it seems absurd.
Each time hurt, I felt like a dunce.
I can’t explain these feelings for you.
I want to make sure this will work.
See, these things are completely new.
I have to make sure that deceit doesn’t lurk.

801489 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-06-01
Written: (6749 days ago)

here's some old work:

Sick and suicidal.
Sick of all the grief.
Do not have much time left.
So I’ll make this brief.
Inside my heart is broken.
I always bleed and cry.
I can’t seem to stop shaking.
Inside I want to die.

799132 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2006-05-28
Written: (6754 days ago)

Next in thread: 799227, 801196

IF YOU KNOW ME YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS FOR:

~Hell~
~~You're my devil king~~
~~I'm your vampire queen~~
~~You're my demon of dread~~
~~I'm your angel of dead~~
~~Minions, caught in a flood,~~
~~trampling through blood.~~
~~We're rulers of all~~
~~in our fiery hall.~~
~~I end harmony~~
~~with pain and chaos.~~
~~You end simplicity~~
~~with phycotic thoughts.~~
~~No more land of the living~~
~~or spiritual realm.~~
~~No more human beings.~~
~~Our power overwhelms.~~

786855 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-02
Written: (6779 days ago)

Next in thread: 786895

Filthy

Drain my blood;
pour through a net.
Remove the mud,
and watch me fret.
Veins to preen,
so filled with hurt.
Another fiend
regains the dirt.
Richly unclean.
A thick infection.
A mixture that's mean.
A bitter confection.
Since they're not pure,
my arteries cry.
You wish you could cure,
but cures are a lie.

785406 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2006-04-29
Written: (6783 days ago)

Next in thread: 802763

so i find out that 6 or 7 ppl just randomly walked up to my brother saying that i got drunk and high the weekend of the 21st! somewhere b/w getting picked up early from school on friday, to going to my lil brother's party (my mom was there), going to saturday school, going to prom w/ tons of teachers and stuff, and then going to church, oh and i slept twice somewhere in there. Ya, and these ppl i have never heard of SAW me do it! lol

"stupid people make me angry" - elizabeth
^ i agree

lol....gosh, stupid fucking jealous bitches! sry if my continuesly moving weekend pissed you off, or if you're jealous of me and my awesome relationship w/ my boyfriend and my friends. *shakes head disapprovingly* stupid asses....lol!

779814 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-19
Written: (6793 days ago)

ya ya whatever....................

these days, everything sounds like bullshit, and I never feel like the person I really am...

778201 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (6796 days ago)

Next in thread: 779306

i have no more than 3 months till he's gone.......i know it's sad. hey, i'll at least have weekends and vacation, sometimes...

776901 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-04-13
Written: (6799 days ago)

Next in thread: 776972, 777283, 778190

god damn it's been a while! well....

my ex-sis went to jail, she owes my parents loads of $, me and raymond broke up way back in september....., i now am dating JP (since feb. 25), i love oompa and ashly and victoria (they are my closest friends!), i have been so happy lately, but extremely depressed at the same time, and ya.......................my life is a beautiful shit-hole, if that makes anysense.....!!!!!

764373 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2006-03-17
Written: (6826 days ago)

Cold sweats, burning fever, tremors, pounding migranes.
I get another fix of my drug to erase my aches and pains.

When being alone is withdrawl, you're addicted to being with them.

(metaphorically of course)

( <3 (ashly, this is yours and mine inside "joke" type thingy right!? lol, idk i just typed it as it popped into my head at 11:30 pm.... i love you ashly, but can you guess who this poem is about?) i'll give you a hint......he's awesomeness! <3 )

758641 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2006-03-05
Written: (6838 days ago)

David Bowie........need I say more? Gorgeous, beautiful voice, extremely talented, great actor. My favorite movie of his is The Labyrinth. I first saw it when I was about 6, and became obsessed with it. I just recently saw it again, and fell in love all over again.............*sighs at the memories*

(wow just thinking about the "Let's Dance "video, also, the Ziggy Stardust persona gives me chills! *smiles devilishly*)

714796 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-12-13
Written: (6919 days ago)

Written by me............John David...when you read this, I hope you cry. After all, you made me cry, you made me bleed, you made me die...... : V

This is my kiss; you stole it.
These are the lies; you told them.
This is my love; you snatched it.
These are the wrists; you slashed them.
This is my heart; you killed it.
These are the tears; you spilled them.
This is my soul; you flawed it,
but this is my death; you caused it.

656284 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-08-30
Written: (7025 days ago)

Next in thread: 785471

The Love Of A Vampire

Time is creeping swiftly,
taking me away,
but you call out to me,
telling me to stay.

I see you climbing slowly
up the bed to me,
saying to me softly,
that you’re to set me free.

A look of deep dark bloodlust,
a sensual exhilarating high,
a bond, a want, a need, a must,
all a light shining in your eye.

Before now the sun lost its shine,
and the night, moon, & stars prevail.
Your face intertwining, caressing mine.
Your skin so cold and pale.

Yes skin, so soft, enduring pleasure,
breaking at the entrance of teeth.
Its heat grows with each new measure,
and blood flows between us, so warm and sweet

In the power of life without the light,
in the beauty of passion to admire,
a soft cry is uttered into the night,
with the love & seduction of life as a vampire. BY: Me

written for my vampire lover....who has yet to reveal him/her self....

656281 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-08-30
Written: (7025 days ago)

wow! two extremely hot guys, one hot chic, and natta clue who likes who or how much! whats up with that!? one guy i want, and im pretty damn sure he wants me, the other guy i am deeply attracted to and really really like and i think he might like me, the chica is just frickin hot and uber cool, but thats about it, i dont think she likes me though.

(HELP ME!!!!! PLEASE!)

603723 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2005-06-20
Written: (7095 days ago)

Next in thread: 655196

ok, anyone in the same boat as me? i am lost, and have no idea anymore, weird huh? its like i knew how everything would happen, then a few days later, BOOM! i have not a damn clue!!!!!!!!!! hmmmmmmmmmm

596923 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-06-12
Written: (7103 days ago)

Next in thread: 601746

REVENGA by: System Of A Down......album: Mesmerize

poisening a drink
bleeding in a sink
choking with a link
killing with a stink
just you mother's
HO
bleeding in a sink
poisening a drink
burning up
my sweet clementine
trampling a shrink
bleeding in a sink
halleluiah wink
getting on the brink
just your mother's
HO
halleluiah wink
murdering a shrink
burning up
on my sweet revenge
will be yours fro the taking
its in the making baby
killing with a stink
bleeding in a sink
poisening a drink
getting on the brink
just your mother's
HO
bleeding in a sink
trampling a shrink
burning up
my sweet clementine
poisening a drink
bleeding in a sink
choking with a link
killing with a stink
just your mother's
HO
poisening a drink
bleeding in a sink
burning up
my sweet revenge
will be yours for the taking
its in the making baby
my sweet revenge
will be yours for the taking
its in the making baby
i saw her laugh
then she said, "go away"
i saw her laugh
then she said, then she said
"go away, way"
my sweet revenge
will be yours for the taking
its in the making baby
my sweet revenge
will be yours its in the making
its in the taking, making, baking, faking
HO
my sweet clementine
HO
shoulda been coulda been
woulda been woulda been you
shoulda been coulda been
woulda been woulda been you

582654 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-25
Written: (7121 days ago)

i have one thing to say: "SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yay!

575486 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-05-15
Written: (7131 days ago)

This poem that i wrote, is how i got my scrn nm:

[In Black Abyss]

4 u im alive
b/c of u i will die
caused all the pain in my life
so tonights my suicide

im trapt on this realm
heart broke and bleeding
the sorrow 2 overwhelm
my mind slowly fleeting

i feel like im falling
i feel like im fading
i feel like im hating
life everlasting

don't hurt me agian plz not again
y do u hurt me like that
u know wat, fuck it im ready 2 leave
cant take this bullshit cant take this greif

the grim stands over me
while im in pain and crying
u know it is haunting me
waiting for me dying

y wont u leave
its not u i need
thru life and death i weave
plz just let me bleed

i cant relate
2 u in this state
my life attempts fail
death soon 2 prevail

when i suffer
u feel alive
i hear ur laughter
into [abyss] i dive

y is everything so hard 4 me
beating me down 4 wat ill be
do u mean 2 encourage my death
it doesnt matter ull c my last breath

u know wat u cant fuck w/ me
so instead ill take my life
im tired of u always bothering me
ill use my knife to get rid of the strife

theres evil behind ur deathly [black] eyes
but 2 me thats no mother fucking surprise
fuck u im not gonna take this shit
i love u i hate u and that is it

i cant live w/ dealing w/ u
i cant deal with living w/o u
being with u keeps me alive
being near u kills me inside

if u read this
then u saw
my fall [into abyss]
and it was all ur fault

575469 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-05-15
Written: (7131 days ago)

My Thoughts (cont'd)

I've tried to move on and find a guy/girlfriend, but I'm afraid of getting hurt again. There are three people who I would drop everything for and their names are Raymond Davis (my armand), the one who will never "see" me (and i wont say his name), and Danniel Breazeale (my king). If one of them confessed their love for me, i would drop everything and spend the rest of my life with them. These people named i truly love, and they come before all others. There is a being, whose been with me through all my lives, past and present. His real true name cannot be mentioned but i will call him Vee. He is my soulmate and is here somewhere, and i think i know whose body he is in, but i am not sure. There are few yet many peoplei would put my life on the line for, but for Stephen G ([MariusAlucard]), my very best friend, I would die a thousand deaths and take torture for an eternity if he was indanger of death and in order for him to not be unhappy. Also, if the only way to fix everything wrong w/ everyone that is deserving of my love, was to die, i would die thrice so that nothing would go wrong after the fact. The people who are in my heart have so much love. If i were to actually stop and think about who much i love them, i would cry a million tears. I would flood, my body, my soul, my home, my world, with tears. But b/c of the holes in my heart, the people who are about to be listed can't recieve the love in full. I have been hurt, and that pains me more. I have scars: visible and nonvisible, physical and mental, on my heart and on my body, from my strife and from my knife.

These are the people who deserve the love:
Stephen, Vee, Drak, Richard D, Ryan, Eddy, Danniel, Dannielle, Richard C, Victoria, Roller, Patch, Lynn

Not only do they deserve the love but they recieve it, at least somewhat.

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