[merihevonen]'s diary
"Gravity keeps my head down...
Or is it maybe shame at being so young and being so vain?
Holes in your head today but I'm a pacifist.
I've walked La Ramblas but not with real intent.
And on the street tonight an old man plays
with newspaper cuttings of his glory days."
- Manic Street PreachersSo I'm going now. I've been delaying my leaving for hours now.
And now finally I'm going.
I'll try to enjoy my trip, and not be such a serious person all the time.
Dude and Berserk are without any doubt the greatest words in the entire English language.
And this is coming from a person who speaks English as her third language, so... *nods* it's a fact.
I keep seeing these dreams.. even when my eyes are open.
Well, I've been seeing these dreams altogether for about a year now. But first it started with one. And then second one came...
The dreams mostly make me smile. But then there are really odd ones. The ones that make me scared to go back to sleep again.
Last night I saw another dream... and then... *sigh* it's difficult to explain.
It's extremely personal. ...And I keep thinking.. is she my alter ego or something?
Well, actually there's two persons. I know them. And for some reason I've chosen them to be in my dreams always.
They used to be two separate persons. And I was able to recognize them both.
It's different now.
I knew who they were and what kind of different relations and feelings I had with both of them, not getting confused.
But now, it seems as if my dream world is messing up with my reality.
And I know that it might be that everything.. that now is... won't be the same in the future.
So which one is it then? ..I don't even know which I hope it to be.
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when I first created Ashley - remember, that was in fift grade... =) I remember I thought about these characters, they sort of inspired my mind to create them. So i don't know if they have some similar personality traits with them. if you need to picture them. This is will help I guess.
Ashley - Lara Croft ;)
Sarah - Julianne Moore ;D red head
-and then I'm not sure, first i sort of picture Sarah blonde, but.... it's still under wondering. 0.o i don't know how to picture her. i'll just have to stick with that, and keep her a red head.-
or something... 0,0
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I remember when I first joined ET I had that story about Sarah and Ashley... And then I had this awful poetry written by me on my diary (I took everyone of them off, don't bother going to search it from my older entries :p).
The persons.. "Sarah" and "Ashley" are few of my favourite English names, so that's why I chose them to be the leading stars of my stories.
They... I have never really been able to write it into a decent story with a real plot line or anything.. but still, i keep dreaming. I don't want to write it. I'm not talented enough to write it. I feel like if I wrote about it I'd ruin it. Since they're in my dreams. I don't know how/don't want to change that.
All the happenings of the Untitled Ashley and Sarah Story are based on real life persons who I know... in real life or online..
And... I guess it's just me showing my side of things.
But.. I never want to write it into paper. I will never show it to anyone (Not even you, [Shatureel]. I'm sorry. Even though I once have said something of the kind.)
It's just too personal.
Don't ask what this means.. I'm just being.. me. vagueness. 0.o
Perverted jokes >.O
"You are one of god's mistakes.
I'm well aware of how it aches.
And you still won't let me in."
-Placebo: Song to say goodbye
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-21
Written: (6731 days ago)
my favorite Mouth quote<3-->>Mouth:
"I'm not that guy, Rachel. Maybe the elite girls just aren't for me. But one of these days I'll meet a girl who really loves me. Maybe she won't be what you call hot, but I'll think she's beautiful, and I'll tell her so. I won't be mean to her because I won't have to play games with her. I'll just be the guy that she can always count on, and that'll be enough. And she'll be elite to me."
- Marvin "Mouth" McFadden, played by the actor Lee Norris
( from the television show One Tree Hill http://www.imd
Every word is true. I live by those words.
http://quizfar
You scored as Satanism.
Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it.
To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan.
Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self,
rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes.
Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype.
Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Satanism 92%
Buddhismn 83%
Hinduismn 75%
agnosticism 75%
Islam 67%
Paganism 63%
atheism 63%
Judaism 58%
Christianity 25%
>.> I don't know if I'm surprised...
*sighs*
Svenska med borgmästaren
I might as well, try and study a bit of Swedish if I plan to go to Stockholm next September.
if a gun was pressed against my head, i guess i could speak Swedish enough so that i could somehow understand, but still... it's... it's.. Swedish!! *shakes fist* >_> ......must study then i guess, so that when we get lost there I can pronounce fluently
"Förlatt. Vi kommer frän Finland. Vi äker till Blind Guardian concert i Globen Hall. Var är det?" o.0 O.0 o.0 0.0 o.o
and then when they tell me where the Globen Hall is, "Tack så mycket."
or then mari will just do all the talking. hopefully. *makes hair even messier* hmphh >.<
I'm back.
Did anyone even notice I was gone?
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-14
Written: (6737 days ago)
This is... my room. yes, it's a bit messy. o.0
This would be the view from my window. Taken today, June 14th.
And now now for something completely different...
Yes... >_>_< what else would two Finns do in the middle of a forest than take take pictures of each others dressed in LARP costumes...
That. Was. Fun. :D
Oh yeah, if you still haven't realized it. This is Mari. She made the dress herself. Tell me what do you think.
Thee whole dress.
Aaand... my darling Captain Petelius Snowbeard *hugs him tightly* he's mineee! ^__^ isn't he cute??
And I'm going to Tampere tomorrow. my brother Janne has an exam there, since he's applying for a university there... so i guess it's few hours away. Well anyway, we're leaving at morning. early... AND i'm not a morning person. at all. >_> so pain for me...
So while Janne's taking his test.. Kari said something about us going to some planetarium. so i guess.. yey?
and i'm eating caramel icecream with a fork at the moment. Makes lots of sense. >_< Yuppiduu.
Nirvana - been a son
She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn a crown of thorns
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have stood out in the crowd
She should have made her mother proud
She should have fallen on her stance
She should have had another chance
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn a crown of thorns
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
She should have been, been a son
"the censorship of my skin
is screaming inside and from within
there's no room in this world for a girl like me
and place around there where i fit in"
- manic street preachers: Born a girl
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuat
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndic
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?
things I want to do before I die
-make atleast one person happy
-get a real live hug
-sit alone on a beach or forest with someone
-travel (Tibet, Iceland, Ireland, Canada, Tampa, Scandinavia, England, some Baltic sea country, Scotland....)
-find the words..
-go see her after graduation