[merihevonen]'s diary
This is a part of Monty Python's the Meaning of Life. So so hilarious!!
Part I: The Miracle of Birth
ANNOUNCER:
Part One: The Miracle of Birth.
[clunk]
[clunk]
[clunk]
[clunk]
OBSTETRICIAN:
One thousand and eight!
NURSE #1:
Mrs. Moore's contractions are more frequent, doctor!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Good. Take her into the Foetus Frightening Room.
NURSE #1:
Right.
[exciting music]
OBSTETRICIAN:
Thum, thummm, thummm, thum, thummmm, thummmmmm. Thum, thummm. Thummm. Jolly good.
[music stops]
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Bumm, bumm, bumm, bumm, bum--
OBSTETRICIAN:
So, it's a bit bare in here today, isn't it?
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Yes.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Yes. More apparatus, please, nurse: the E.E.G., the B.P. monitor, and the A.V.V.
NURSE #1:
Yes. Certainly, Doctor.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
And, uh, get the machine that goes 'ping'.
OBSTETRICIAN:
And get the most expensive machines, in case the administrator comes.
[clunk]
[exciting music]
That's it. Bring in the other machines. Right over here.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
[whistling]
OBSTETRICIAN:
That's it. Just behind me.
[music stops]
Lovely. Lovely. Jolly good. That's better. That's much, much better.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Yeahhh, that's more like it.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Eehhh. Still something missing, though.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Hm?
OBSTETRICIAN:
Hmmm. Mmmmm.
[Snapdragon]
OBSTETRICIAN and DOCTOR SPENSER:
Patient!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Yes.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Where's the patient?
OBSTETRICIAN:
Anyone seen the patient?
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Patient?
NURSE #1:
Aah! Here she is.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Bring it over here.
[clank]
Mind the machines!
NURSE #1:
Sorry, Doctor Spenser.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Come along!
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Come along.
NURSE #1:
Jump up there. Up!
MRS. MOORE:
Ehh.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Hallo. Now, don't you worry.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
We'll soon have you cured.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Leave it all to us. You'll never know what hit you.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Good-bye!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Good-bye.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Drips up!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Injections!
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Can I put the tube in the baby's head?
OBSTETRICIAN:
Only if I can do the epesiotomy.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Okay.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Okay. Uh, legs up! Doctor, come in. Come on in, all of you. That's it. Jolly good.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Come along.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Come along. Spread 'round there. Uh, who are you?
MR. MOORE:
I'm the husband.
OBSTETRICIAN:
I'm sorry. Only people involved are allowed in here. All right.
MRS. MOORE:
What do I do?
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Mhm. Yes?
MRS. MOORE:
What do I do?
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Nothing, dear. You're not qualified!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Leave it to us!
MRS. MOORE:
What's that for?
OBSTETRICIAN:
That's the machine that goes 'ping'.
[ping]
You see? That means your baby is still alive!
DOCTOR SPENSER:
And that's the most expensive machine in the whole hospital!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Yes, it cost over three quarters of a million pounds.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Aren't you lucky?!
NURSE #2:
The administrator is here, doctor.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Switch everything on!
[exciting music]
[ping]
MR. PYCROFT:
Morning, gentlemen.
RANDOM:
Morning.
MR. PYCROFT:
Morning, gentlemen.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Morning!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Morning, Mr. Pycroft.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Morning, Mr. Pycroft.
MR. PYCROFT:
Oh, very impressive. Very impressive. And what are you doing this morning?
[music stops]
OBSTETRICIAN:
It's a birth.
MR. PYCROFT:
Aahh. What sort of thing is that?
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Well, that's when we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy.
MR. PYCROFT:
Wonderful what we can do nowadays.
[ping]
Aah! I see you have the machine that goes 'ping'. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
[applause]
Thank you. Thank you. We try to do our best. Well, do carry on.
NURSE #1:
Ooh, the vulva's dilating, doctor.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Oh, yes, there's the head. Yes, four centimetres. Five-- Six centimetres.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Lights!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Amplify the 'ping' machine.
[ping]
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Masks up!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Suction!
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Eyes down for a full house!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Here it comes!
BABY:
[Crying Angel]
OBSTETRICIAN:
And... frighten it! Thank you.
[whock]
DOCTOR SPENSER:
And the rough towels!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Show it to the mother. That's enough.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Right! Sedate her!
OBSTETRICIAN:
Number the child.
DOCTOR SPENSER:
Measure it, blood type it, and isolate it!
[whump]
NURSE #1:
Okay.
[clap clap]
Show's over.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Jolly good.
RANDOM:
[mumbling] ...everyone.
OBSTETRICIAN:
Jolly good.
MRS. MOORE:
Is it a boy or a girl?
OBSTETRICIAN:
Now, I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it, don't you? Now, a word of advice. You may find that you suffer for some time a totally irrational feeling of depression: 'P.N.D.', as we doctors call it. So, it's lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. It's available on Betamax, VHS, and Super Eight.
[ping]
Auu my tooth aches
pain pain pain pain
auuu :/
Eikö ole surullista että olen istunut edellisen vuoden tällä tietokoneen edessä..
kun loppujen lopuksi on koko ajan vain ollut... vain minä..
...tässä yksinäisessä huoneessa...
aivan yksin... ?
Jos niin, minä mieluummin kuolen.
Guess what? I went to http://harrypo
and i'm a RAVENCLAW! what a surprise
http://harrypo
ohh the things i do when i have nothing else to do.. >:< hmph. hehehh..
--------
and
i don't care if it's fair but i did it again.
and i got gryffindor. ack.. http://harrypo
but
i want to be a slytherin!!
i have to bribe that bloody hat somehow... O.o
--
later:
omg i did it
http://harrypo
woohoo!!
Morrissey - To Me You Are A Work Of Art
I live a life
I feel the pain
To sing this song
To tell the tale
I wish I never even heard the song
I see the world
It makes me puke
But then I look at you and know
That somewhere there’s a someone who can soothe me
To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one
I see the world
It makes me puke
But then I look at you and know
That somewhere there’s a someone who can soothe me
To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one, had one
To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one
http://www.you
Morrissey - I Will See You In Far-Off Places
Nobody knows what human life is
Why we come, why we go. So why then do I know?
I will see you
I will see you in far off places.
The heart knows why I grieve
And yes one day I will close my eyes forever
But I will see you
I will see you in far off places.
It’s so easy for us to sit together
But it’s so hard for our hearts to combine
And why?
And why?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Destiny for some is to save lives
But destiny for some is to end lives
But there is no end
And I will see you in far off places.
If your God bestows protection upon you
And if the USA doesn’t bomb you
I believe I will see you somewhere safe
Looking to the camera, messing around
And pulling faces.
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Cicero
"the sort of rage that is only seen when rich folk that have more than they can enjoy suddenly lose something that they have long had but have never before used of wanted." -J.R.R Tolkien the Hobbit
"I felt the sun on my face for the first time..."
It's not the shadows by the red lights
that makes my skin crawl late at night.
It's your quiet heart and your silence
as your teardrops stain my sheets.
I bit my tongue when you smiled.
Everything I wanted to say
I forgot tonight
Everything I wanted to be
I kept always to myself.....
I am black and white inside.
I hate everything that bends and breaks.
And then comes that feeling
that sneaking feeling
the only one I can't do anything about
then I close the soul
squeezing it to death
and find a heavenly drug
and then comes that feeling
am I the only one
who never understands?
They're forgotten.
But they're speaking through the pencil in my hand.
And they carried me all the way here.
Juridical Outrage Continues. Bodström Must Resign!
After the raid against the Pirate Bay, Piratbyrån and almost 200 other servers, information suggesting pressure from American lobby organisations as well as the US government was the reason for the police action was released. Minister of justice Thomas Bodström immediately denied all knowledge of that kind of foreign influence.
This Tuesday however, Swedish public service TV have presented evidence that shows how, shortly before the raid, the US justice department threatened with trade sanctions via the WTO if Sweden doesn't act harder on Swedish file-sharing sites – that is, the Pirate Bay.
- This is no more than a farce-like juridical outrage featuring Thomas Bodström as the main character, says Tobias Andersson from Piratbyrån. - If he has a grain of decency and self respect left, we expect him to resign from his post.
The Pirate Bay is a file-sharing site using the Bittorrent technique. The technique itself is in no way illegal, which is why the Pirate Bay has not been shut down before. The complexity of the technique is also why Bittorrent hasn't had its legal status tried in the US.
- We demand all cards to be put on the table immediately, says Tobias Andersson. We won't tolerate this kind of fiddling, lies and foul play. It's an attack on freedom of speech!
Piratbyrån has not yet gotten its server back after the raid, although it was not an official target for the bust. The police remain silent, contradictory and refer to prosecutor Håkan Roswall for more information. Roswall on the other hand has not given Piratbyrån any answers.
- We're convinced that this raid against the servers was meant as sabotage against the Pirate Bay and Piratbyrån and not as a juridical case, says Tobias Andersson. - Obviously we are an uncomfortable part of the debate, but it's alarming that freedom of speech is not worth more for copyright crazed lobby organisations and legal authorities
Piratbyrån is forming a critique against copyright by operating as a think tank and information aggregator for issues concerning intellectual property, file sharing, piracy and other related topics. We pursue no activity that could be considered a violation of Swedish law.
Press contact: Tobias Andersson, Piratbyrån: +46(0)734-072091 piratbyran.org
Letter from MPA to Swedish justice department
http://www.pir
www.piratebay.
Hehe, found in one of those Vin Diesel facts pages XD
Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".
Hmm. Alcohol...
why haven't I tried this before?
O.o