[merihevonen]'s diary
so here i am.. eating cookies and drinking orange juice.
i must go take a quick shower, take a painkiller for my teeth and stomach, get dressed..
and then mom will come pick me up around 5 pm. and then going babysitting my cousins.
Luke is not answering my messages again. Hmphh.
He's being his absentminded himself again. -.-
>:< boys...
I just need to calm myself and not be a total dramaqueen like before the same happened, and just breath in and out.
I'm sure he will talk to me again when he's ready.
*sighs and waits*
ack.. Who on earth believes i have any such confidence? I'm just talking air here.
..............
true. i am a tiger ^^
*sigh* Labyrinth gifs
When green is all there is to be, it can make you wonder why, but why wonder.
I'm green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful, and I think it's what I want to be.
Someday you'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.
It's not easy being green.
all hail Kermit. ^^
>.>
Eeek!
A spider on the page of [Cookieholic]
*hides*
Smurfsången
>.< Amazing. beyond words...
<diary:820135>
This world is filled with many idiots.
I'm worried about my friend Martin.
I was stupid and absentminded last week and forgot to log onto cathug to talk to him...
And yesterday, today, and 5 minutes ago I've been loggin on and off there seeing if he's there...
Nothing.
He hasn't been online in 4 days.
And I know him, he's close to me. I consider him as my brother, he's amazing in everyway... I know him, his good.. and his bad. Espcially the bad. :/ he better not have done anything to himself... he once told me of his dreams of putting needles to his eye and whole lot worse..
He has his depression, he has his bastard parents, and his low selfesteem which only worsens the situation. Boria lives in Bulgaria and they've been together online for some year now.. But he's can't fight his parents. We've talked about this. We even made a plan to get him out of England... But then he went to Ireland to work, he has enough money for a plane ticket.. His bastard parents have canceled his flights... and said lots of bullshit to him like "if you go , how will i get any money from you". But it's all so complicated and personal..
He's changed so much ever since he disappeared from elfpack around last Christmas... he seems so cold and and almost on the verge of giving up.. it's been.. so long since he's even smiled.....
But he has his girlfriend. Without Boria, he'd be dead.
*sighs sadly*
Martin, where are you? I miss you.
I'm just passing the joy. ^^
<poll:60514>
I laughed hystericly because of this for 5 minutes.
perferct examble of my childish sense of humor. O.o
if you're scared of snakes, like i am... don't click this..
---> Nyaahs first breed
These bonds are shackle free, wrapped in lust and lunacy.
Tiny touch of jealousy, these bonds are shackle free.
Placebo: ask for answers
Whistle song
There is something in her eyes
That's making me scared
It's clinging to my shirt now
Like static in her hair
And something here is wrong
I heard it when she spoke
Her dust flows through my veins
And I'm yesterday's joke
And it seems impossible to meet her simple needs
She breaths invincible and it's giving me the creeps
She is still the wild one here, the incendiary soul
She is in flame and I am cold
God, I'm getting old
She is talking through a yawn and the radio is on
I listen through the thin walls
And someone is whisteling along
There is something in the air
Squeezing out sparks
The striplight flickers and then dies
And leaves us in the dark
And it seems impossible to make the ending speak
She breaths invincible and it's giving me the creeps
She is still the wild one here, the incendiary soul
She is in flame and I am cold
God, I'm getting old
God, it's getting cold
And I tried to make you a believer
But you're not a receiver
I tried so hard to make you smile.
For once I tried to be myself.
I made you scared, I made you cry.
So I never tried again.
Now I found a way to make you smile,
Pretending I am someone else.
Cause I really missed your smile,
more than I missed myself.
You found a way to keep it inside,
to a point where you can't feel a thing.
And silence suits us fine.
Cause we are not listening.
No, we're not listening.
And like today awaits tomorrow
And like tomorrow needs today
I need your simple words to follow
I'll do whatever you say
And my quiet heart goes to pieces.
It's been a lonely year in this room.
And I will not ignore you like before.
My january promises are more
than words softly spoken.
And everything I told you was stolen from a book.
I read something about kisses in a sience magazine,
something they can't capture in the sweetest movie scenes.
Artist: Kent
Song: Stop me june (little ego)
Album: Hagnesta Hill (Eng.)
[" Hagnesta Hill (Eng.) " CD]
I've been waiting for my brilliance to shine through
Like waiting would do
I've been called a little coward more than once
It hurts when it's true
I've been following your footprints in the snow
Trying to return the excuses that I stole
I'm the first on and the last off the bus
Little ego be still
And I fight the cold wind back up the street
To Hagnesta Hill
And the darkness and the snow fall as one
And I lost my scarf
At a busstop of the outskirts of town
I gather all the courage and the hate
Little ego goes wild
And my voice broke down I finally reached that age
I was cruel as a child
If this feeling that remains is not mine
Then it's something new
Maybe my brilliance shining through
It's noisy, can't think, I can't speak
I'm tired of handshakes so please
Get rid of this crowd
I can't breathe here anymore
You just have to let me go
It's noisy, can't think, I can't speak
I'm tired of handshakes so please
Get rid of this crowd
I can't breathe here anymore
You just have to let me go
You just have to let me go
You just have to let me go
You just have to let me go
And I don't need your hurry
You just have to let me go
Artist: Kent
Song: Before it all ends
Album: Isola (Eng.)
[" Isola (Eng.) " CD]
Modern thoughts about each other
Can't make you shine out any brighter
Antique promises uncovered
When we stop breathing for each other
We're drained of our will
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Is there still time before it all ends
Finally I found the words to tell you
I caught your hands under our table
There's still time for us to grow up
Closer to the sun before the summer slides to October
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Is there still time before it all ends
Empty gunshells in a park station
The hollow ring of our growing impatience
I knew you'd equal the occasion
My hand in your hand while the others
Are dragged in the flow
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Is there still time before it all ends
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Is there still time before it all ends