I finally managed to talk with one of her real life friends. I asked her about her.


her message:
"yeah shes fine she just hasnt really had time to get on since she has a new boyfriend and shes with him all the time now

why were you concerned?"


She's fine.

She's moved on with her life, forgotten me. Can't remember my name even anymore, I'd imagine.
Busy with school and her boyfriend, so she doesn't have time to come online anymore.



It'd be useless to think any otherwise. For once, my pessimism was correct. How I wished to be right. It's only human to want to be remembered in some way? Not to be forgotten, to just be... in the back of their head every now and then.
As awful and terrible as this may sound, I don't want her to forget me. 

*sighs* I just miss talking with her. I wish she'd be here. Or more like it, I wish I was there.

Oh how slowly time passes. Why do I have to wait to do the things I want? And why don't I just grap the opportunities I'm offered and make the best of them? Instead I just stay like this, unmoved, scared to act on my desires. 
I really really hate this place, day after day. I know I don't show it, but it can be rather depressing and lonely here.

Money is the key.
If I had money, I could afford as many plain tickets as I wanted.
Just imagine, if Mom and Kari had agreed for us to go to Tampa instead of Cyprus like I suggested them... I would've got to see her (though the minus part would have been that my mother and stepfather would have ben with me, but it wouldn't have mattered. Just so that I could've seen her.)



I keep hearing that line from that song in my head...

Fifteen minutes with you
Oh I wouldn't say no

I'd be happy with only fifteen minutes with you face to face
rather than never see you.



I keep playing back our lj and ep conversations... from ever since the first message I sent to her. I can't remember my exact words but it was something along the lines of "Cheer up". Ohh how I miss the elfpack days when I would wake up and the first thought on my brain was logging onto elfpack to answer messages from her. Back then, when Janne still lived home and I had a limited access to this computer and could only use it when Janne was away.
I still remember on Tuesdays at 9 pm on my time, Janne and his friends would go to sauna and I was left home alone free to use to pc however I wished. 45-60 minutes of happines talking with her, the highlight of my day.
Even if the message was only "Hello, have a good school day" I still was the happiest girl alive.


Now remembering this all is making me want to cry...

I'm not even sure how long it's been, how many months. 9-10 months perhaps?



She will always be the most influencal person in my life I have ever met. No one can take that place from her.

At least finally I know she's happy. That's all I care about.

And then there is no god in the world
That can give you an answer
Except that we will all one time die

- Kent (translated from Swedish to English)

Select your preferred gender:

  Female
  Male
  Hey, don't oppress me with your gender politics.



*laughs*

http://www.fjordstone.com/fjo/generator.html

When I came home today I meant to log onto et and write about my day, but then I fell asleep right after I'd come home. So there went that plan down the drain. So without any long rambling, I'm trying to keep it short


Most of the day has been raining. Yesterday too. Snow has left the ground almost completely... It's going to be a miserable Christmas if there's no snow. :/ First Christmas EVER for me when there isn't any snow...
I met my grandmother today. She still has to use the rollator, but she can walk on her own now as well which is good. I'm happy about it.

I bought two new cds. James Dean Bradfield's solo album the Great Western & Morrissey's single In the future when all's well


and my neighbour who lives above me has been complaining that I listen music too loud. Argh, the nerve of some people.
Apparently she was trying to sleep at 4 am and then she heard "bump bump" music coming below her. It's impossible for her to hear my music that well unless she's an alien and can hear everything through brick walls . I sometimes leave music on when I go to sleep. And I was listening to the Smiths' Reel Around the Fountain on repeat, there is no "bump bump" in it.

My father and I are going on a cruise before Christmas to Stockholm, Sweden. Don't know the date yet, but I will let you know when.


That should be all for now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZz2VodwRRE&NR

Wuhuu!!

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god
than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible
gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
 ~Stephen F Roberts

http://linerider.com/

After the first try I got to understand the meaning... and then it was just fun!!

Strong Atheism

*sighs* You people and your debating about things you can't change...
I will never understand.

*shrugs*

from [Apus]'s diary




To all the Tolkien fans out there, especially those that are fans of Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" movies, I'm sure you've probably heard the news regarding "The Hobbit" movie and New Line's decision to exclude Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh from the production.

Here's the full story...

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6167972.stm

A letter to the fans by Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh can also be found here...

http://www.theonering.net/staticnews/1163993546.html

What do you guys think of the decision? Take my poll!


-------------

This is so horrible.

All the hours I stole from you...
something something something, can't remember the rest of the lyrics...

What song is that?
It's been playing in my head for some time. O_O

Does anyone know??

CANCER
Great Kisser. Very high sex appeal.
Great in bed. Most horny.

PISCES
Caring. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT.
Very high sex appeal. Has the last word. Extremely weird but in a good way. Amazing in bed and I mean amazing

LIBRA
Very gentle. very romantic. Nice. Love is one of a kind.
Silly and fun, sweet! Have own unique sexiness. Great Kisser.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
very nice person!

GEMINI
Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser. Great talker.
Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR
the BEST in BED. EVERY PERFORMANCE!!!!

*AQUARIUS
Trustworthy. Sexy. Rare to find. Loves being
in long relationships. Extremly energetic.
Amazing in bed, the BEST lovers.

ARIES
Outgoing. Spontanious. Not one to fuck with.
Have own unique sexiness. Unpredictable. Erotic.
Funny. Addictive. Take you on trips to the moon in bed.

TAURUS
Aggressive. freak in bed. rare to find. loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremly outgoing. Outstanding kisser. sexual as fuck.

LEO
Great talker. Sexy. Always Horny.
Laid back. Knows how to have fun.
Is really good at fucking. Great kisser.

VIRGO
Dominant in relationships.Sexy.Always Horny.Freak in bed. not a virgen. Always wants the last word. FUCKEN SEXY. Loud.Caring.Smart.Loves being in long relationships.Addictive.Attractive. what the oppistie sex wants


SCORPIO
EXTREMELY sexy. Talkative.
Energetic. Predict future.
Most erotic.Freak in bed.GREAT kisser.
not one to mess with. always get what they want.

SAGITTARIUS
Spontanious. Horny. High sex appeal.
Rare to find. Good when found.
Loves being in long relationships.

CAPRICORN
Nice. Extremly sexi. Undercover freak.
Love is one of a kind. Great listeners.
Very Good in bed. Lover not a Fighter But
Still Punch Your Lights Out .Trustworthy


 XD

Wow, it must be so amazing to be Dutch.
I wish I was Dutch.


Pfft >.<

I want to travel there someday, anyways..

Message to self:

remember to message [Sana] later about TPB.


i'm just writing this so i won't forget.

Elvis fell asleep on my lap.


Arghh, my feet are numb. I can't feel anything >.>

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=10907




You scored as Satanism. 


Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

atheism 100%

Satanism 100%

Paganism 83%

Buddhism 50%

Judaism 17%

Islam 17%

Hinduism 17%

agnosticism 17%

Christianity 0%

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/


"You Are 60% Evil
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination."

Darn it.

Quiz on etiquette
http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf
(warning: it comes with annoying music playing on the background. But just do the test quick so it'll go by fast)

I got 2 out of 11.
and a "Better stay on your on country!"

XD
I only knew the Austrian and the Danish questions...
Other countries have such funny customs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsa_xWLOghg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7QjbFOSfd8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05wd1FJ6GCE



   I dreamt about you last night
  and I fell out of bed twice...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrZQIayUnbA

It's now 2:45 am. I've been awake now for about an hour, just finished eating chocolate cereals...
When we came back from Ikea I was so exhausted from the walking and carrying like 20 bags full of groceries and all the stuff we bought from Ikea... I just fell on my bed as soon as we came home.
We bought lots of green stuff. =) Since you know how much I love green...

I might go back to sleep soon.