translation:
Ingenting Någonsin (Nothing Ever) by Kent 

They say that I've been torn
Never have I been whole
They say there is something with my bones
But nothing has ever
been more wrong

They say I have been evil
I have always been straight
They say there is something wrong with my heart
But nothing has ever
hit so hard

They say I've been dangerous
I have always been weak
They say there is something with my head
But nothing has ever
been so close to an answer


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82f2Tu1J4nk

Howdy


I went to the eye doctor today. He put some stupid liquid in my eyes, it was horrible :(
The glasses should be ready in about a week.


I was supposed to see my father today but after the eye doctor, eating too much so my stomach hurts then shopping, walking, waiting,
feeling dizzy, and more walking for 4 hours... I'm too powerless to leave home again.

But I had my trusty walkman to help me go on with the day, listening to Kent's Hjärta & smärta (Heart and pain) EP...

One good thing happend today though. Mom bought me this music magazine that is completely about David Bowie! :D
But since it was a bit expensive (15 euros) I can't go buy cds in a while.... :(




Ta-ta. H


----
<3Kent<3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWm-Kvj6F7Q
http://www.kentpaus.com/kent/texter/hjarta_och_smarta/ansgar_och_evelyne_eng.php

Hello!

I voted today. For the first time in my life. With mom at Kontula's post office. Wuhuu, I feel like such a grown up. O_o
I voted for Anni Sinnemäki, number 53. Listening to 'Lennokki' by Egotrippi on repeat while doing it! :D
Well anyway, it was the pre-voting. In few days will be the actual final voting.

I have been sick for the last, erm, 3-4 weeks. Flu, cough, sore throat...
I'm sure I'm making a world record on how much a person can drink tea during one day.


I went to get my eye sight checked just for the fun of it. And I thought it would've been just a check up. But no. The glass lady there said that I need glasses, especially my right eye is worse that my left eye. O_o
so I'm getting glasses in this month.

I look like a nerd with them on. >_>

Thursday's my appointment with they eye doctor. I'm nervous. I hate people touching my eyes. >_>


----

http://www.egotrippi.com/mp3/1-egotrippi-posteljooni-akustinen-iistsaid280403.mp3

it's so beautiful. 'Posteljooni' by Egotrippi, live acoustic. :D :D

Hmm

How different life is now that I have been away from elftown for a while.

I didn't realize how time passed so much. It really wasn'ät my intention to be away for so long.

Well, anyway... if anyone's reading this, hello, long time no see.


I have to go walk Pete and then get to school. Maybe I'll log on tomorrow again...


Bye

So Aunt Leena, Hanna-Maria and Tuomas came here today. We ate cookies and drank Pepsi and cocoa. It was nice seeing them after a while.
I always dislike crowds as well as any kind of party, so I hid in my room most of the time they were here.

And the cats really loved the climby thing Leena brought to us as a present. Mette stayed there for like an hour and then only came out when food time came. :p

After they left mom and I started watching the President's Castle party from the television. It was fun watching different kinds of guests arriving to the Castle wearing tuxes and fancy gowns.. It's my way of celebrating Finland's independence, watching that... it's just a tradition with my mom and me to watch it and laugh at the weird and funny dresses and then in return compliment the good dresses and hairdos. Usually I don't give a rat's crap about about any make up, hairdos, dress color etc but December 6th is my one night of the year when I like to look at things like that.

Lordi didn't come since he wasn't allowed to come there in his monster costume.

While wathing the show, Elvis slept in my lap through most of the show... I was so happy. Elvis loves me. :D

Today is 6th of December, the Independence Day of Finland.

My aunt and cousins are coming over here in about 40 minutes. They're bringing this cat climby thingy to us...

Not much of a plan for today.
I'm going to perhaps watch the Independence Day party at the President's Castle from the tv. All the guest arriving there in their fancy gowns and tuxes... It's an annual thing. It's quite boring but fun at the same time.

Happy Finland's Independence Day!

My horoscope for the day.

Leo - 2.12.2006

Be careful in the middle of temptations, not everyone is as honest as you are.
Sleepless nights are taking power from you...


:O 

<diary:881422>


I want snow. :(

I switched torrent-thingies from Azureus to uTorrent.
It's so much better!! ^^

Plus... because of this:
http://search.utorrent.com/search.php?q=depeche%20mode&amp;e=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2emininova%2eorg%2fsearch%2f%3futorrent%26search%3d&u=1

so many... :O

and there's even the "some valium for Fletch" parody xD


but I promised [Sana] to search some mp3s for her first.... ---> <diary:880436>
so i'll have to wait for a few days till i can get my own music


I have the 2 Coldplay songs already.

Got to search still
*Reflections - Lea Salonga
*Batalla de los Tombores (Drum Duel) - Godsmack
*Prodigy - Breath

and this will be ready pretty soon
*Counting Bodies like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums - A Perfect Circle

http://community.livejournal.com/mock_the_stupid/2591515.html


I laughed, giggled, chuckled... a lot reading this...
Or maybe it's just my sense of humor





http://www.elfonlyinn.net/d/20020729.html

made by [conscience]
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/37490291/

The geek in me says: Wuhuu!!

I got my cds from huuto.net today

which are:
Branded Women: Something to hold on
Depeche Mode: Personal jesus
Depeche Mode: World in my eyes
Kent: Isola (Swedish version, I have the English version already)

Those bit older Dm singles are darn impossible to find....

Now all I'm waiting for are my green Egotrippi shirt with the yellow "superego" text in it
and my Month Python's Quest and the Holy Grail dvd

yey yey yey ^^ 

"I'm so glad that I'll never fit in/that will never be me/ Outcasts and girls with ambition/that's what I wanna see"

   - Pink

When I woke up today, my plan was go on a walk today around the town, buy rice and kebab takeout... sit on a pench somewhere, listening to my cd player, take my notebook and pen from my bag, write my thoughts onto paper....


*sighs*


Mom and Kari are going to a concert today at Hartwall Arena. It's Jethro Tull Acoustic, or something. Kari's a big Led Zeppelin and Jethro Tull fan, so... I hope that have a good time. Mom's not really really fan of Jethro Tull's kind of music so it may be a bit boring for her... It starts at 8 pm so I'll have some alone time then, YEY.


So as I was saying... I was going to go walking but then I came across [lady nytmare]'s page and the game link that is on her page... so I'm now in the process of thinking a good username. I don't want to pick merihevonen since it's a bit long. So I'm trying to think something short and simple. 'Egotrip'? O_o



aaand the cats are being a bit loony. Just now Mette tried to go inside the dish washer machine. and after that, she just lied on the floor watching as the kitchen cabinet opened and closed, what a weirdo.
But Elvis seems pretty normal. He's just sleeping my bed calmfully.. after all morning running around the house...




When the house is all by myself tonight, I will start playing Kings of Chaos.
Isn't that just a cool game name? I just love saying it. Kings of - what? Chaos!! :O

I haven't been drinking any coffee if you're wondering to get the this mood. Just cocoa. Honestly. Just 4 cups of cocoa. xD

<poll:73067>

Best poll I've seen in a while.



and I saw [thoughtfox]'s page and his travel picture wikis, and I started thinking about my own desire to travel around the world.

it will happen... Just need to sort everything out.

Like I Would If I Ever Saw This Guy :O Why why would anyone want to do that their bodies??

Very interesting debate/conversation going on at the straight way

I'm talking with Merce on yahoo. ^^

YEYEY YEYEYE YEEYY YEYEYE

Can you tell that I'm on a good mood?

I dreamt about you last night and fell out of bed twice....

<3

Oh Morrissey's voice is so beautiful.

kaljukeiju, you still remain a mystery.

I shall continue to stalk you to to discover your identity.


And what on earth does "kupo" mean? O_o

I finally managed to talk with one of her real life friends. I asked her about her.


her message:
"yeah shes fine she just hasnt really had time to get on since she has a new boyfriend and shes with him all the time now

why were you concerned?"


She's fine.

She's moved on with her life, forgotten me. Can't remember my name even anymore, I'd imagine.
Busy with school and her boyfriend, so she doesn't have time to come online anymore.



It'd be useless to think any otherwise. For once, my pessimism was correct. How I wished to be right. It's only human to want to be remembered in some way? Not to be forgotten, to just be... in the back of their head every now and then.
As awful and terrible as this may sound, I don't want her to forget me. 

*sighs* I just miss talking with her. I wish she'd be here. Or more like it, I wish I was there.

Oh how slowly time passes. Why do I have to wait to do the things I want? And why don't I just grap the opportunities I'm offered and make the best of them? Instead I just stay like this, unmoved, scared to act on my desires. 
I really really hate this place, day after day. I know I don't show it, but it can be rather depressing and lonely here.

Money is the key.
If I had money, I could afford as many plain tickets as I wanted.
Just imagine, if Mom and Kari had agreed for us to go to Tampa instead of Cyprus like I suggested them... I would've got to see her (though the minus part would have been that my mother and stepfather would have ben with me, but it wouldn't have mattered. Just so that I could've seen her.)



I keep hearing that line from that song in my head...

Fifteen minutes with you
Oh I wouldn't say no

I'd be happy with only fifteen minutes with you face to face
rather than never see you.



I keep playing back our lj and ep conversations... from ever since the first message I sent to her. I can't remember my exact words but it was something along the lines of "Cheer up". Ohh how I miss the elfpack days when I would wake up and the first thought on my brain was logging onto elfpack to answer messages from her. Back then, when Janne still lived home and I had a limited access to this computer and could only use it when Janne was away.
I still remember on Tuesdays at 9 pm on my time, Janne and his friends would go to sauna and I was left home alone free to use to pc however I wished. 45-60 minutes of happines talking with her, the highlight of my day.
Even if the message was only "Hello, have a good school day" I still was the happiest girl alive.


Now remembering this all is making me want to cry...

I'm not even sure how long it's been, how many months. 9-10 months perhaps?



She will always be the most influencal person in my life I have ever met. No one can take that place from her.

At least finally I know she's happy. That's all I care about.