Im stuck..Im confused..I dont know what to do!! It's all happening to fast. I want it to happen, but then I dont.

I love you enough to let you do this.
But I love you to much to spend that much time away from you.


It's just happening so fast, and Im still 10 steps behind.

We all have things to hide
we know what has been tried
the hard part is putting pen to paper
I know I should expose everyhing thats inside
but the question that plagues us
is can we open our lives?

T.T *shrivels up and dies*

I believe that lovers should be tied together
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
in their inocence.


I believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with theris songs and letters
and left their to burn in their arrogance.


I bleive that lovers should be drapped in flowers
and laid entwined togheter on a bed of clovers
left there to sleep
left there to dream
Of their happines...




My Love,
I want to be forever asleep with you, we can dream together of all our past memories. 
"forever entwined as your soul mate, together...forever"
I promised you, if you were to leave this earth, then I sha'll follow shortly after...


we will be together soon My Love....very soon....T.T

[*shrivels up & dies*]

I love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever!!!!!!!!!

Forgive us if you can
abandon your best friends
its demanding and filled with detriment
Leaving your lover home waiting
Putting much faith in her patience
Dont fool yourself its not endless
Phone calls are poor consolations

We've Abandoned Our Best Friends

I think Im falling back into my old habbits, of being depressed...Lately I find myself so depressed I dont want to do anything, dont want to eat or talk...I just sit there most of the time, listening to music, talking online, or writting poems. I dont want to go back to the way I was T.T It took me so long to become happy, I dont think I can do it again. Nor would I want to do it again...I just dont know...

Theres no place else I feel safer, than in your arms ^.^

moon boots
and a hand-me-down snowsuit
snot is dripping from my nose
my lips are chapped and my cocoa froze
and i get low
man, i can see you through your window
sneak attack in a field
use your toboggan as a shield!

A Lie will always defeat the truth.
Weight leaves in anger from my shoulders.
Words of wisdom crush hope.
What is real?
I thought I knew.
The tremble of your soul injects fear into my heart.
I will stand alone.
This gentle mind, the one inside me will never hurt you.
Actions speak louder than words will ever.
So I will show you my sincerety in the shape of my still beating heart.

Wait right here for me...

I wish I could get in a car, and drive to thee end of this life...to see whats left for me...



you told me I ruined your life.
At that moment I wanted to die! 
It seems like I am controlling your life.
But your the one making the decisions.

I feel like you deserve better. 

today you asked me "what would I do without you?" and I have an answer for that now...You'de be doing what you've always wanted to do, what you've always dreamed of. Your life wouldnt be ruined, You wouldnt have to put on a fake smile everyday. You'de be who you've always wanted to be...






No matter what happens My Love, I will always love you!
[*shrivels up*]

I believe that lovers should be tied together
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
in their inocence.

I believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with theris songs and letters
and left their to burn in their arrogance.

I bleive that lovers shoudl be drapped in flowers
and laid entwined togheter on a bed of clovers
left there to sleep
left there to dream
Of their happines...

Ich will dass ihr mir vertraut
Ich will dass ihr mir glaubt
Ich will eure Blicke spüren
Ich will jeden Herzschlag kontrollieren

Ich will eure Stimmen hören
Ich will die Ruhe stören
Ich will dass ihr mich gut seht
Ich will dass ihr mich versteht

Ich will eure Phantasie
Ich will eure Energie
Ich will eure Hände sehen
Ich will in Beifall untergehen

Seht ihr mich?
Versteht ihr mich?
Fuhlt ihr mich?
Hort ihr mich?
Konnt ihr mich horen?
Konnt ihr mich sehen?
Konnt ihr mich fühlen?




Wir wollen dass ihr uns vertraut
Wir wollen dass ihr uns alles glaubt
Wir wollen eure Hande sehen
Wir wollen in Beifall untergehen

Konnt ihr mich horen?
Konnt ihr mich sehen?
Konnt ihr mich fuhlen?
Ich versteh euch nicht

Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you

Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have


Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down
I cherish you...
Just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes

Sometimes at night when I look to the sky.
I start thinking of you and ask myself why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile.
Because I know the list could run for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch.
So many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions.
The way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss fills me with desire.
And how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me.
Lost with you forever, is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when your by my side.
A senese of completion and overflowing pride.
I could go on for days telling of what I feel.
But all you really must know is my love for you is REAL.

I Love You

All these years Katelynn was right...

I read something of hers I wish I would have never read... But at the same time Im glad I did, because It made me realize something, she was right! And the things she wished for...I kinda wish they would come true now. She wished for me to be non-existent...She said I was worthless. She hates me, Im a failure, I will never proove my family wrong...I cant make it. 

"...I wish that you would have done what you said you were going to do a long time ago..I want you gone forever..out of my life..."

Katelynn, I think your wish is about to come true. Just know Im not just doing this for you...

...Im sorry

I dont understand you anymore....

Please tell me, whats wrong!

T.T

...I love you!