Its beautiful outside...I wish I could go outside in the snow....I can just imagine it now...

Michael and I are walking down a dirt road, now covered in a thin layer of snow, tree's without leaves everywhere, covered in snow. Us talking about all our plans for the future, holding hands, and wishing this moment could last forever..The snow falling in his hair, and how handsome he looks...His perfect smile, and glistening eyes, pale white skin, soothing voice, and warming touch....

I seriously hate you so much!
He's so fucking mean, he makes me feel like shit EVERYDAY! Today he told me it would be impossible for me to graduate high school. I tryed to fight it but he made me agree with him. He told me theres nothing I can say to make him change his thoughts about how he feels. I agreed with him, and told him he was right...Im really getting sick of him always fucking putting me down, and people wonder why I have such low self esteem! Now you know!!! Because I have to think low of myself to make him happy, so he knows he's right. And I fucking hate it! and I cant stand up for myself ever because he wont let me...Im basically stuck and no way out...He's blocking all the exits

I thought I knew you better then that...Maybe I was wrong.

Im glad you abandoned me! 
I DONT NEED YOU! 
Your a back stabber.
A LIER! 

If you cared about me, you wouldnt have said what you did.
If you knew me at all, you wouldnt have told me to do those things.
If you listened to how Happy I was about doiong this, you wouldnt have tryed to talk me out of it!

Im glad you are 6 states away!
Dont ever talk to me again!!!

Im stuck..Im confused..I dont know what to do!! It's all happening to fast. I want it to happen, but then I dont.

I love you enough to let you do this.
But I love you to much to spend that much time away from you.


It's just happening so fast, and Im still 10 steps behind.

We all have things to hide
we know what has been tried
the hard part is putting pen to paper
I know I should expose everyhing thats inside
but the question that plagues us
is can we open our lives?

T.T *shrivels up and dies*

I believe that lovers should be tied together
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
in their inocence.


I believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with theris songs and letters
and left their to burn in their arrogance.


I bleive that lovers should be drapped in flowers
and laid entwined togheter on a bed of clovers
left there to sleep
left there to dream
Of their happines...




My Love,
I want to be forever asleep with you, we can dream together of all our past memories. 
"forever entwined as your soul mate, together...forever"
I promised you, if you were to leave this earth, then I sha'll follow shortly after...


we will be together soon My Love....very soon....T.T

[*shrivels up & dies*]

I love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever!!!!!!!!!

Forgive us if you can
abandon your best friends
its demanding and filled with detriment
Leaving your lover home waiting
Putting much faith in her patience
Dont fool yourself its not endless
Phone calls are poor consolations

We've Abandoned Our Best Friends

I think Im falling back into my old habbits, of being depressed...Lately I find myself so depressed I dont want to do anything, dont want to eat or talk...I just sit there most of the time, listening to music, talking online, or writting poems. I dont want to go back to the way I was T.T It took me so long to become happy, I dont think I can do it again. Nor would I want to do it again...I just dont know...

Theres no place else I feel safer, than in your arms ^.^

moon boots
and a hand-me-down snowsuit
snot is dripping from my nose
my lips are chapped and my cocoa froze
and i get low
man, i can see you through your window
sneak attack in a field
use your toboggan as a shield!

A Lie will always defeat the truth.
Weight leaves in anger from my shoulders.
Words of wisdom crush hope.
What is real?
I thought I knew.
The tremble of your soul injects fear into my heart.
I will stand alone.
This gentle mind, the one inside me will never hurt you.
Actions speak louder than words will ever.
So I will show you my sincerety in the shape of my still beating heart.

Wait right here for me...

I wish I could get in a car, and drive to thee end of this life...to see whats left for me...



you told me I ruined your life.
At that moment I wanted to die! 
It seems like I am controlling your life.
But your the one making the decisions.

I feel like you deserve better. 

today you asked me "what would I do without you?" and I have an answer for that now...You'de be doing what you've always wanted to do, what you've always dreamed of. Your life wouldnt be ruined, You wouldnt have to put on a fake smile everyday. You'de be who you've always wanted to be...






No matter what happens My Love, I will always love you!
[*shrivels up*]

I believe that lovers should be tied together
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
in their inocence.

I believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with theris songs and letters
and left their to burn in their arrogance.

I bleive that lovers shoudl be drapped in flowers
and laid entwined togheter on a bed of clovers
left there to sleep
left there to dream
Of their happines...

Ich will dass ihr mir vertraut
Ich will dass ihr mir glaubt
Ich will eure Blicke spüren
Ich will jeden Herzschlag kontrollieren

Ich will eure Stimmen hören
Ich will die Ruhe stören
Ich will dass ihr mich gut seht
Ich will dass ihr mich versteht

Ich will eure Phantasie
Ich will eure Energie
Ich will eure Hände sehen
Ich will in Beifall untergehen

Seht ihr mich?
Versteht ihr mich?
Fuhlt ihr mich?
Hort ihr mich?
Konnt ihr mich horen?
Konnt ihr mich sehen?
Konnt ihr mich fühlen?




Wir wollen dass ihr uns vertraut
Wir wollen dass ihr uns alles glaubt
Wir wollen eure Hande sehen
Wir wollen in Beifall untergehen

Konnt ihr mich horen?
Konnt ihr mich sehen?
Konnt ihr mich fuhlen?
Ich versteh euch nicht

Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you

Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have


Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down
I cherish you...
Just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes