STOP HIDING THINGS FROM ME

I'M SICK OF IT

PISS OFF


dont expect me to trust you when you hide shit from me.

meh I deleted all my friends.

sorry if we talked.

This is what happens, when certain people dont trust you. Im done with elftown, Im done with myspace. It's not worth an hour long fight over something so stupid...so by this, I am done..goodbye everyone...Goodbye Elftown. Goodbye friends.

Why cant things go back to the way they were?

























.......

I read our letters today, and read through all of our plans, and it makes me a bit sad knowing that I broke my promise to you...I saw the pictures of you, and us. I feel like we are two different people now, and I feel like nothing was like it used to be...from the time we first met, up untill now. Nothing is how it was. 

Im sorry...it's my fault you changed, I believe you changed as well...your no longer..you. I suppose the only things I have left of who you used to be is the letters and pictures..

goodbye

hmmm, so I think Im almost done with Elftown... I cant take it anymore...just causes to much drama and shit.

meh...


RomanceRevenge

What happened?? V.v

how bout me not blaming you for everything
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
how bout grieving it all one at a time

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

Why do you always run away from everything!?!?!?

You cant handle anything, you just run, try to avoid everything, fucking face your problems...

It just seems like Im the only one doing anything. And it is getting me fusterated. I've been saving my money, making sure I have enough for place to stay, we payed half and half. which is good. and I know your having money problems right now...so Im going to end up paying for food and for gas, there and back. and I know Im going to pay for everything else we want to do. whether its going out and getting ice cream or just out to have fun somewhere. If you would have payed attention to how much your spending or how much your making. You wouldnt be in this situation. Seriously...I know some things you wanted, and things you wanted to do for me..but you didnt have the money! Did you really need to fix your air soft rifle? I know how bad you wanted to and how long you've been wanting to do it. but seriously you should have thought about it before, I mean all that money could have been saved, and all that stuff you baught for me, that money could have been saved, and just little things like that...they add up. and its not a god thing, because later on your going to wish you didnt spend it, because now you need it. 

I guess it'll be just like old times where I pay for everything, and not mind at all...so no worries, I got this one covered...

have you EVER lied to me?

just to make me happy?
just to get out of something?
just to keep me?
just to drop an arguement?
just so you wouldnt get in trouble?
just so I wouldnt leave you?
just so our relationship would be the same?


Tell the truth for once...

Everyday seems to get worse and worse, like more fighting, more pissing eachother off...I regret every mean thing I've ever done or said. I cannot believe he forgives me all those times, he says he will always forgive me, and that I could do anything in the world to hurt him and he would still love me, and never leave me. and It's the same way for me too. I mean, if he ever did anything to hurt me really bad, things would change for a while, and be different, but I could never stop loving him. We are going to be through alot together, and each day of this just makes us stronger...and Im glad we love eachother enough to get through it all..

baby I love you!

I wish I could go back into the past, I would change so much, I would fix so many things, I would say so much more to those ones I lost. I wish I was there to when they needed me most, I wish I would have said what I was thinking, and I wish I could go back to say what I was feeling, and say what I've always wanted to. But then again if I did that, I wouldnt be with him. And I dont know what I would do without him.

I cant imagine what it would be like if we didnt meet, or if we did meet, but just never gotten together...It scares me sometimes when I think about it because Im so afriad to be without him. 

I am confused, I dont know what to do or think anymore. and whats even more confusing about this, is that I dont know what I am confused about I dont know anything anymore. Im always wrong, I feel like I've changed, just not in a good way. I really want to go back in time to see my true self once again. Or at least show Michael what I used to be. I need Janel. I really do, without her Im....Im THIS and I hate it. this isnt who I really am.. I mean some of it is, but most of it isnt. I seriously cant get over the fact that my real side, went with Janel. when she left me. When she left, I guess I wanted to be with her so bad, the biggest part of me went with her. I still talk to her, and I am so thankfull for that, Ide be so depressed, and I'de go out of my mind if we stopped talking. I'de be worse then I am right now. 

I want Michael to see the real me, but I cant find the real me!! Im in Florida with Janel. 

It's like Im with Janel, but I have to get here to be with Michael, and I cant get to him. I want to so bad, but theres something blocking me, and I cant figure out what it is. and its killing me, its killing US. I wish I was here with Michael. I want to be, I need to be. But I cant. I just need to figure out why, and go from there. I need to findmyself. 

HELP!!

I feel totally lost...


Today was probably one of the worst days of my life, I just want you to know how much I love you, and I'll never leave you...and I know what I did today, made it seem like I was going to. But I wouldnt dare...Your my everything, your my life, my love, my fiance', my husband, my best friend, and My Michael....your everything to me.

And just for the record....I love you more!

Sometimes there is to much beauty in the world. 
I feel like I cant take it.

I can be the one who cares

I can be your everything

I can be the one to sing you to sleep

I'll try to make you laugh untill you cry

it feels so right gazing into your eyes

if we just pull ourselves together

we'll make it through this stormy weather

if you cant get your self together

just hold my hand I'll make you better

theres nothing to fear

I will be right here

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel Teeloffel Salz Eine Messerspitze turkisches Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein Teeloffel Vanillenzucker Ein halbes Pfund Mehl Einhundertfunfzig Gramm gemahlene Nusse Ein wenig extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier In eine Schussel geben Butter einruhren Gemahlene Nusse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten Augenballgrobe Stucke vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker walzen und Sagt die Zauberworter Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei zweihundert Grad fur funfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER Bei zweihundert Grad fur funfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..

In the dark
A candle is the sun
To light our way back home
It's a dream
It's a hope
That one day we'll be free
Give me strength to open up the door
I'll take my chances, racing time
Re-writing the book
For all to see
On my own I can ride the winds of change
To heal a broken time, a broken world.

I have zee most amazingest Fiance' in the world!
He's everything YOU WISH to be.