so theres this boy....

probably because you agreed to go with me. it wouldnt mean a damn thing if youw werent there. AND considering your supposed to write it...you SHOULD be there..

I havnt moved.

 Getting my design back for my tattoo, hopefully. then tomorrow im getting it. 
so tonight will be cool, Gma is coming over, hopefully Im here to see her before she leaves, since I have work...>.<
my dad and I seem to be pretty close lately, I feel like I can actually talk to him, because he understand it all. we rented a bunch of movies from the library we'll probably watch one tonight. I dont want to stay up late anymore. Im going back to getting up early all the time. I like it better that way. I dont miss to much, I hate sleeping still. I just do it alot to pass the time. between the morning and work. But Linda has started her yoga classes. so I might join. its only an hour class. right down my street. 15 a session I think it was. it'll be worth it. 

I feel like my family has gotten closer for some reason. besides Katelynn of course. my parents started going out together again, on dates even! like lastnight they went out. and tonight they are going out with Gma. 

issues:
- the pregnancy is an issue. And Im scared, because who knows whats going to happen..>.< I know Im going to keep it, abortion is NOT an option. Im just scared to do it alone, he'll be in the army...what am I supposed to do? I had this thought on my mind for the past 2 days. and it still lingers. I used to be all excited about it and everything, but its just scary now that...eh. It'll be a blessing no matter the situation. IM SO WORRIED!! T.T

- starving. Im back to that. i dont want to eat, because im depressed, and I cant eat because i feel sick...well DUH I FEEL SICK because im not eating!! I cant get out of this trend. but it usually passes after a week or so.

- Sleep deprived. I havnt been sleeping I lie awake and stare at the ceiling I dont even recall anything ever being on my mind except "omg Im so tired. but I cant sleep argg" fustration!!


- money. yes always and forever money will be an issue with me. buying a tattoo for the purpose of prooving something, that may or may not have an effect...not enough money for my stupid ass expensive car! why did i have to get a nice car?!?! uggh. damn me spending my check on stupid shit that I didnt need. but only bought to make him smile, show I care. and then bought clothes. i spent 20$ on 2 tickets to see a movie. thats outrageous. but it doesnt bother me...I dont care that im spending the money on my lover, or to take us out to have fun...it sucks afterwards when im like...shit i need gas..ehh

i havnt done shit.

forget me saying I feel better.  I guess Im having a bad day today...ugh

work today...nothing before that. nothing after that. been talking my head off though! haha. 

my dog ate a WHOLE CORD to a lamp...what the hell?!? so she's in her cage. and shes a Beagle so she squeel howl bark wimpers. all in one. yes....annoying..VERY!
haha

I followed the rules. but it didnt help. im sorry.

I feel better.

just leave me alone. everyone!
Im taking walks to where we used to go. where I was going to take you on sweetest day. The graveyard.  I want to just look up at the sky and ask myself why? I want to lean against that tomb stone. and think of all the great things. 

I just want to be left alone for a while...just so I can breathe because everyone has been down my back about everything. So go away! I want to be alone with him. in my thoughts and my heart, and my breath. my mind will be filled tonight. and when he looks to the sky at that moment he'll feel a sigh of relief knowing im looking at that same sky. thinking about him. like he is me. 


just give me this time...
I want it alone with my love.

Getting another tattoo. Im nervous this ones going to hurt. its over my heart. so sensative, but it'll be worth it!

"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"
"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"

"you cant have him, he doesnt even love you!"

very annoyed.

work was boring as always.
sweetest day is next saturday.
Im very excited about it.
Taking Michael someplace VERY special when I get out of work.
He did the last 3 sweetest days, my turn now ^.^
picking up Michael in a few. its already 11pm and I hope I make it to the gas station.
Im in so much pain.
Physical pain.
Im annoyed.
did I mention annoyed?
very annoyed.
yup.
I dont really know the exact reason of my annoyance, just every little thing annoys me at the moment.
I'll get over it.
I hate working.
I need a money tree.
like now.
my job doesnt even give me enough fucking hours. 
I'v come to the conclusion....I hate my life.
maybe?

ugh.

time for some lovin
[dead~spirit] here i come!
ow ow!!!

feeling like T.T

I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not into yoga
I have half a brain
I like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for!
BUT YOUR ALREADY MINE!

If I end up pregnant this time...these 6 months Im doing it alone. I'll make you a scrap book of all the pictures of him/her in my stomach! ^.^ you wont miss a thing while your in bootcamp. 

I really really hope this time we are! ^.^ I'v thought about it for the past week. and I am so excited! Faith House Wetzel. or Jay Michael Wetzel III

^.^!!!!!

I think this times the one.

I CAN NOW SAY I'V BEEN FUCKED SO MUCH I BLED.

THANK YOU BABE!

BUT IT WAS ALL SO GREAT HAHA!^.^

3 rules from you to me. 

Never bring up the past.
Never tell his parents the bad news.
Never hurt you again.



Together Forever.
We can do this...

ANGER.SWARMS.ME.

SECONDS.FROM.THE.END.WHATS.IT.GONNA.BE?!?!


Dry your eyes
Hide your face with your hands
One last breath
Hold it in

Fuck your past
The future
Is in your hand

Just sit back and relax
Put your fucking shades on
Put that gun to your head
You're a fucking disgrace

Can your god save you now?

You coward

Drowning yourself
In your tears
No one has
Pity for you

Seconds from the end
What's it gonna be
Pull the trigger bitch

havnt been in the greatest of moods....
cant seem to get out of this coma like feeling.


everything is just.....there, its not really anything at all