[Fear the Reaper]'s diary

924913  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-30
Written: (6259 days ago)

From Zero's

Fleeting Glimpse lyrics

The bigger you get
The harder you fall
Bringing you closer to my needs
We both understand
What's happened so far
Well my vindication tells me

To hold on to this long and winding road
Hold on to the one you are

The closer you get
The farther you fall
Bringing you backwards every time
I don't understand
But this time I'll try
If my reservations tells me

To hold on to this long and winding road
Hold on to the one you are
Just hold out for one more day
But watch out 'cause you might regret it
There's so much more to who you are

I'm placing all my trust in you
This is for the real deal now

Beginning the end
The hardest of all
It happens to everyone some time
So count your regrets
It's coming to call
And I'm on my way to get mine

924912  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-30
Written: (6259 days ago)

From Zero's

Free Without A Struggle lyrics

40 days, a simple waste of time
Count the days when we can be
together once again
I'm far away but you are in my head
You are all I think about you have all my time
You and I should be together
but I will be the one denied simple life
So we say goodbye, so long I'll see you again

Close your eyes and go to sleep
And dream about the days we'll be together again
Sacrifice so we can be free without a struggle

Looking back again, there's fortune in the wind
Some will say that I'm insane but I do it all for you
Contemplate this game, a simple life for fame
You are all I dream about you are on my mind
You and I should be together
but I will be the one denied simple life
So we say goodbye, so long I'll see you again

Close your eyes and go to sleep
And dream about the days we'll be together again
Sacrifice so we can be free
from all the struggles that are coming our way
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And dream about the days we'll be together again
Sacrifice so we can be free without a struggle

Just want you to know that I'm empty inside
and I miss you like crazy
How long will you go, oh I don't really know
but I'll try to get home
Just please come back home,
the struggle is holding me back

923445  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-03-26
Written: (6263 days ago)

this was accidently deleted

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? (This was written for me from someone very special in my life and she knows who she is)

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
I just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life


How did I fall, in love, with you?




920975  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-03-18
Written: (6271 days ago)
Next in thread: 920983, 921069

Last night was so fucking awesome went to this amazing concert last night and got wasted off my fucking ass. The three bands were so fucking amazing they are different from anything i have ever heard before i know alot of you are not from around where i am but do me a favor check them out and tell what you think. the first band that played was the coathanger babies www.myspace.com/coathangerbabies., the played gods joke www.myspace.com/godsjoke and the last band of the night was the north pole bombers www.myspace.com/npbjams

And last night i had this awesome drink called an irish carbomb amazing stuff please check out the sites of the bands and let me konw what think

920482  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-16
Written: (6273 days ago)

Friend: Calls your parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Juggalo: Call your parents "Mom" or "Dad."
Friend: Has never seen you cry.
Juggalo: Has the best shoulder to cry on.
Friend: Will leave you hanging to be with a crowd.
Juggalo: Always has your back.
Friend: Runs for help in a fight.
Juggalo: Jumps in the fight to help.
Friend: Will bail your stale ass out of Jail.
Juggalo: Will be sittin' right next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!"
Friend: Will help you move out of a house.
Juggalo: Will help you move a dead body out of the house.
Friend: Bums you a cigarette
Juggalo: Bums you his last pack
Friend: Is there when you need them
Juggalo: Is there even when you dont need them
Friend: Gets drunk at a party and pukes on your carpet
Juggalo: Feels worse than you do about puking on your carpet in the morning
Friend: Hides you from the cops
Juggalo: Is probably the reason the cops are after you in the first place
Friend: Lets you make an ass out of yourself in public
Juggalo: Is up there with you making an ass out of themselves too
Friend: Likes you cause your always doing stupid shit
Juggalo: Loves you even though you do stupid shit
Friend: Is shocked to find out your actually gay
Juggalo: Already knew but really could care less
Friend: Doesn't tell anyone if you kill the guy who tried to kill you
Juggalo: Helped you kill that asshole
Friend: Comes with you to your moms funeral
Juggalo: Cries with you at your moms funeral
Friend: Tells you when his parents doesnt want him to hang out with you any more
Juggalo: Laughs in his parents faces for saying that
Friends: Fade
Juggalos: Are 4 Ever
Pass this shit on to all your juggalo homies
yo if ur a juggalo send this shit to all ya mutha fuckin homies

918182  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-09
Written: (6280 days ago)
Next in thread: 918435

I wonder what life would be like if i became anorexic

918169  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-09
Written: (6280 days ago)

Behemoths

Slaves Shall Serve

[music by Nergal; lyrics by Krzysztof Azarewicz]

Father ov Terror!
Aba ol-Hol
enter the pylon
thru' the galleys ov past
catacombs ov night
into the starry womb

slay, slay!
Asar un-Nefer
we have no fear
our time had come
our will is done

dance, dance!
O Mighty One
in the fields ov Aqert
and spit
upon slaves ov death

War God!
trample all weakness
this is your day ov pride
draw Thy flaming sword
cut the umbilical cord
to set me free from eternal sleep

[lead: Seth]

...step by step
Khem: evolution: spiral vibration
can you hear?
can you touch?
can you see?
can you really see?

we charm all jins -
automata, inprinted realities
they creep like snakes
and all we feel
is painful bliss
as we burn forth
like winged globe
like solar disk...
...and penetrate eternity

[lead: Nergal]

Slaves shall serve!

918166  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-09
Written: (6280 days ago)

Bien qu'ayant une Imagerie et un Look qui peut porter à confusion

650162  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-03-07
Written: (6846 days ago)
Next in thread: 923219

At times the days seemed so long,
i thought I'd never make it through.
then suddenly out of a dream i met someone like you.
I had locked up all my feelings, and I'd thrown away the key...until your heart spoke a thousand words, I knew were meant to be.
When times turned rough and lonely, and despair fell upon my face, you comforted me and kept me safe in that loving special place.
You don't realize what you have and what you've done for me, but the way you've managed to steal my heart is what has set me free.
You've given me a feeling that no one else could ever change.
Your love has touched a place in me I've always found so strange.
Its as if you were cut right out of a spell cast upon my heart, because the crazy thing about it is,
I've loved you from the start.
No one in this whole wide world could touch the feelings that we share, to the seconds that I spend with you, nothing can compare...
You've opened my eyes and touched my heart just enough to let me live. You've changed my world with magic and the kindness that you give. My heart was broken, and i thought love was so far away, but you came into my life and showed me it would be okay...
Like crystal clear blue waters or a magical sunset, that moment speaks a thousand words to which no price can be met. I wish i could just stop time and spend the whole night in your eyes, for when I'm with you there's a feeling even i cannot describe... Although my heart holds painful memories that will never be erased, you touch me with a love so strong it hides that lonely place...
Heartbreak, loss, and misery were all i ever knew, until someone showed me happiness and that someone was you. Your gentle words and loving arms lift me up when i am down, and Baby, with all you've done for me, you've turned my world around. Your love is so consistent like the waves that break on shore, and with every day my love for you still grows, more and more.
When broken dreams still fill my days and nothings going right,
you reassure me with your smile and give ma back my sight. You sweep a spell across my heart, like a breeze across the sea, and you fill my world with beautiful dreams and feelings meant to be. The way you live, the way you love, and even so much more, with every smile that you give, you're all i could ask for...
You are in every breath i take and in every tear i cry, you're in every star i wish upon up in my lonely sky. Every day with you is heaven, like an angel from above, a million magic moments sent, to give you all my love. You are living proof that prayers and dreams really do come true, and i thank GOD for that special day he blessed my heart with you.
I could speak of a thousand promises or even bet my very soul, the rest of my life I'll be touched with a feeling no one can control... Fate, destiny, or magic may be the reason that we met, but all i know is the days with you i never will forget.
Until the day i found you i never knew a love so true,
but from today until eternity,
I swear I'll be loving you!

913974  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-02-24
Written: (6292 days ago)

things are getting so tough right now my heart is being pulled in several different directions and i just dont know what to do

913873  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-02-24
Written: (6293 days ago)

my new favorite song of the week by kill hannah

Lips Like Morphine"

I want a girl with lips like morphine
Knock me out every time they touch me
I wanna feel that kiss just crush me
And break me down

Knock me out!
Knock me out!

Cuz I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight

I want a girl with lips like morphine
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping
I want to feel that lightning strike me
And burn me down

Knock me out!
Knock me out!

Cuz I've waited for all my life
To behere with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again

Oh, I want a girl with lips like morphine
Knock me out everytime they touch me
I want a girl with lips like morphine
To knock me out

See I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again.

912989  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-02-22
Written: (6295 days ago)

I saw your hadlights in the window, my face was pressed against the glass
I waited years for you to return before I learned that you were never coming back

Im going to close my eyes before i start to scream

I'm dwelling on things I've never noticed, you won't save yourself you're never going to save me
I only stumbled once for a moment and it was over, I think I'll close my eyes before i start to scream

You said todays the day goodbye just won't wait

If you need me to I'll wait until September.
It's come and gone Novemebers on it's way.
So easy to forget and hard to remember
The way to getting back our self esteem

The lines on your face are getting clearer, to me you'll always be 23.
they said you wouldnt hold on too much longer but you're so much stronger
then they ever thought you'd be

I'm going to open up and tell you everything.

If you need me to I'll wait until September.
It's come and gone Novemebers on it's way.
So easy to forget and hard to remember
The way to getting back our self esteem

No regrets. You've got no one left!
I hope that every step reminds you of the ones that you left.

If you need me to I'll wait until September.
It's come and gone Novemebers on it's way.
So easy to forget and hard to remember
The way to getting back our self esteem
They said you wouldnt hold on too much longer but you're so much stronger
then they ever thought you'd be



811993  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-21
Written: (6541 days ago)

"so belive me, if i started murdering people, there would be none of you left."
" Maybe I should of killed, then maybe I would have felt better and really offered society something."

756824  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-02
Written: (6652 days ago)

What up everyone 13 days till my birthday

644934  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (6853 days ago)

a new poem need a title for
By Scott

We are born of stone
And etched by wind
Cast aside to live or die
We are the pawns in our own game of silent wars
For countless days
We walked alone
We lie embraced in the arms of dawn
AS your thoughts haunt you in silent darkness
For the dreams of freaks reveal themselves
For we are lost and far from home
I walk without these walls
Bombarded by brutal events
Sifting through the ashes
SEarching for the remnants
A history of hollow lives
Emerging from the wreckage
I bear the scars
Of an insufferable will
And the tyrannical reign
This day has shattered my perception
All I was misconception
When chaos reigns without a purpose
I drive to run from all my demons
An onyx ribbon spreading out
As anxiety surrounds me
Attenuate the light of day
That floods my eyes till I cant see
Let the wind erase me
Like the momory of a kiss
Away from all of this
I long for anonymity
To wipe the features from my face
The distant roar of static oceans
Cries of frustration resound in my head
Engulfed by the ominous
Has it grown darker or am I slowly going blind
Shadows spreadout like a flowing river
Devouring the sky as the sun starts to sink
Permant nightfall a total eclipse
Darkness takes hold with its sinwey grip
Cursing its name with our echoing cries
When i fell so far
I watched my dreams depart
These aberratinos have their place
Delusions vast estates
Theres nothing sinister at all
Gnawing at my soul
But those confessions that I give
Make me lose control
Shed of your skin
Cast off the chains
And wash away the pains
Of hiding every little scar
At times the self seems in transition
Though chaos rains around us now
Only so much rain can fall at once
And slow but sure, serenity will come
lIke a grain of sand
Swallowed by the deseret
Like a drop of rain
That falls from the darkened clouds
At the feet of giants
whose shadows stretch for miles
Even the greatest peak
Will one day wear nothing
EVen the deepest sea
Will one day dry to dust
The path you took to where you are standing now
Was fraught with obstacles that tore you down
The path of least resistance called your name
A sea of sins left unredemmed
Regret is a dull and rusted blade
That covers me with scars that never fade
Severedto remind me of all the pain I have caused
This bitter sadness overwhelms me
And mires me down with velvet arms
The echos linger on and the backlash has begun
When hurt and lies become the currency
All it buys us is more tragedy
More sleepless nights
Self medicate so you can make it through

644921  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (6853 days ago)

Bullet Illusions
By Scott

Sooner or later the illusoin finally came to a end
so now your just going to throw life away
They found a way to kill me
My eyes are burning full of stain and sweat
As the bullet screams through my flesh
There comes a time when you have to search for a piece of mind
So whats my reason to fight
I am searching for you to seek and destroy
This is the end and I wont take it anymore
So now the storm of death endangers me
For I have been delivered over to all my fears
For I am a stranger in these alien lands
And darkness has come here to kill me
My tower is weak
And my strength and sheild have crumbled before me
So I begin to desire that of the demons blood
For my very present is that of the eternally damned

644914  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (6853 days ago)

Decaying Darkness
By Scott

The darkness was deafening
The thoughts of dying had filled my mind
The dawn was breaking and I could feel deaths evil
Death was gripping and choking me
The evil presence surely would have me forever soon
I was in a season for the pleasures of sin
The fear of life is a fountain of lies to depart from the snares of death
Darkness came and it became my life
Gross darkness and oblivion were soon my only peace
Soon I became like a desperate wolf
in my deception and vanity
I argued without the proper cause of life
Sitting in the deepest possible pit of muck and darkness
I knew this illusion would one day end

644890  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (6853 days ago)

Burning Away Sooner or Later
By Scott

I wont let this build up
I am the slave and I am the master
No restraints needed against my inner demons
This is my life and its not what it was before
These are my dreams
The dreams I have never lived before
So I struggle when I am in vain
Now that I am so far away
I dont think I can face another day
These are my words
I have never spoke before
This is the smile I have never shown before
The pain finally starts to go away
Somebody shake me
I must be sleeping
I'm so afraid of waking
So please dont shake me
Now that I am here
I must be to far away
For i am ashamed of what I am today
So I am crawling in the darkness
Always confused from what is real
Somethings stirring inside me
Thats always pulling at me to get out
Against my will I stand beside my demons
I'm so insecure
The wounds I have caused will not heal
So hate is all I see lately
For my passions are lost
So there are children crying
In a cold and darkened world
So hold the hands of your best friends
As you look into there eyes and watch their souls drift away
Cause these burning whispers remind me of the days I was left alone

644889  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-13
Written: (6853 days ago)

a poem by me help with a title please
By Scott

My eyes are shut
My lips are sealed
Red as a rose
OH how beautiful they appear
But underneath is what you dont see
They are full of lies and deceit
Infidelity and defeat
My eyes are shut
My lips are sealed
Blow them a kiss
And I might be healed
So defuse the pain
To make me real
For this crusted blood
Is all I feel
So breathe me in
Till I am out
Then you might see what Im all about
It pierces my flesh
So I hide my eyes with all these lines
You cant see my fear of all this kind
So the days and nights
Are crazed and gray
My face lies with potent cries
My jagged hair corrupts my face
My lips aflame clears my pain
With no spite of happiness

619310  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-09
Written: (6888 days ago)

"Incomplete"

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

599147  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (6912 days ago)

my newest poem
Crazed Cries in Darkened Eyes
By Lotus

The days and nights are crazed and grey.
my face is no lie with potent cries
my jagged hair corrupts my face
my lips afalme clears my pain
with one spite of happiness
piercing my flesh
hiding myeyes with all these lines
you cant see my fear of all this kind
so defuse the pain to make me real
for this crusted blood is all i feel
breathe me in till i am out
then you might see what i am about
for my eyes are shut
my lips are sealed
red as a rose
oh how beautiful they appear
but underneath is what you dont see
my eyes are shut
my lips are sealed
blow them a kiss
and i might be healed

 The logged in version 

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