[Sabbe Fhtagn]'s diary

1000326  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-12-22
Written: (5993 days ago)
Next in thread: 1000948

The Fight:
What does it mean and where does it come from?
An Essay:
Homosapien. A man. He is alone in the universe.
A punker. Still a man. He is alone in the universe,
but he connects. How? They hit each other.
No clearer way to evaluate whether or not you're alive. Now. Complications. A reason to fight.
Somebody different. Difference creates dispute.
Dispute is a reason to fight. Now, to fight is a reason to feel pain. Life is pain.
So to fight with reason is to be alive with reason.
Final analysis:
To fight, a reason to live.
Problems and Contradictions: I am an anarchist.
I believe that there should be no rules, only chaos. Fighting appears to be chaos. And when we slam in the pit a show it is.
But when we fight for a reason, like rednecks,
there's a system, we fight for what we stand for, chaos. Fighting is a structure, fighting is to establish power, power is government and government is not anarchy. Government is war and war is fighting.
The circle goes like this:
our redneck skirmishes are cheap perversions of conventional warfare. War implies extreme government because wars are fought to enforce rules or ideals,
even freedom.
But other people ideals forced on someone else, even if it is something like freedom, is still a rule; not anarchy. This contradiction was becoming clear to me in the fall of '85. Even as early as my first party,
"Why did I love to fight?" I framed it, but still,
I don't understand it.
It goes against my beliefs as a true anarchist.
But there it was. Competition, fighting, capitalism, government, THE SYSTEM. That's what we did.
It's what we always did.
Rednecks kicked the shit out of punks, punks kicked the shit out of mods, mods kicked the shit out of skinheads, skinheads took out the heavy metal guys,
and the heavy metal guys beat the living shit out of new wavers and the new wavers did nothing.
What was the point?
Final summation?      None.

969198  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-08-21
Written: (6116 days ago)

[.:CAPRICORN:.] The passionate Lover

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart.

yeah i'm good :p

966014  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-08-11
Written: (6126 days ago)
Next in thread: 966085

a guy posted this on IAMbme
this is from a sketch show "kids in the hall"
and i just found it to good to just let it alone

Dave: Hi, my name’s Dave Foley, and something you might not know about me is that … I have a good attitude towards menstruation.

That’s right, I’m the guy! The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!

Oh, I know a lot of men are made uncomfortable by this monthly miracle. But not me. No, I embrace it. Embrace it the way the way some men embrace the weekend! Why I anticipate it the way a child anticipates Christmas!

Did you know that in alot of native Indian cultures, menstruating woman were forced to leave the village, lest their powerful magic should overwhelm the Shaman? If I were Shaman, I wouldn’t be so competitive. I’d be more open and giving. I’d be a shaman with … a good attitude towards menstruation!

‘Cause after all, what is it? A cluster of blood vessels, awaiting a fertilized egg. Providing a safe warm place for that egg to grow. And if a life does not occur, the whole thing is flushed away, and the cycle begins again. Now is that anything to be ashamed of or disgusted by? No, this is the nesting stuff of humanity!

That’s why the woman I shall love will be able to menstruate as fully and freely as she desires. Even if her monthly flow should build in intensity to a raging rust-coloured torrent! An unbridled river of life giving blood flowing from between her legs! An awesome cataract plunging off the edge of our couch. I wouldn’t be fazed! No, no, even if coureur de bois would come up stream, battling the rapids, and singing a jaunty song, I would take no offense, rather I would ford across that mighty womanly river, and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin.

And then I would mop her brow and admire her fecundity.

For I…Have A Good Attitude….Towards MENSTRUATION!

928355  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-04-09
Written: (6250 days ago)

_____________________

[I need:] love and hate to survive
[I find:] that humans are destroying the earth
[I want:] a other world created by me
[I have:] everything but a world to call my own
[I wish:] for nothing for most wished don't come true
[I hate:] all humans but a few
[I fear:] nothing
[I am:] the pain you feel, the earth you walk on, the water you drink, the fire that keeps you warm, the air you breath, the womb that gives you life, the love you feel, i'm the univers you live in I am a angel of darkness
[I love:] some that are close to me
[I miss:] nothing
[I feel:] everything
[I know:] all
[I crave:] for the touch of flesh
[I should:] bring a darkness upon the humans
[I search:] chaos
[I wonder:] what time is
[I regret:]opening my hart to a few because they just destroyd it

908596  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-02-11
Written: (6307 days ago)

strange days are at my door
strange days have found us..strange days have tracked us down!

but there is a way to conquer them but the road is long one may lose himself but at the end meet again
for it is nothing but a spiritual journey to find the true meaning of ones emotions


But in the lonely hours when the moon's the only light,
I thought about the times when I turned my back and stalled
I ain't no nice guy after all.

905085  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-31
Written: (6318 days ago)

o no they are not a gift from god
they are a unholly curse from the beast we call the desolate one
The first of the fallen, the spoiler of virgins, the master of abortions
Let me help you outta your chair, grandma...
...Grandma, what was it like|To be on that holiday site...
...Late at night, I awoke from my...
...Sleep, hearing, unknown, voices...
LAUGHING INSANE!!!

903776  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-01-27
Written: (6321 days ago)

All hail the ale

where would you be without rules?Thats right France
where would you be with to many rules?  germany
where would you be with rules favoring the cyclists?
Holland

Vor uns liegt Deutschland . . .In uns lebt Deutschland . . .und hinter uns marschiert Deutschland

893053  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-12-30
Written: (6349 days ago)

The star fell

That is no ordinary star. That is the tear of a warrior.

What is a warrior?

One who has finished his battle somewhere on this planet...
A pitiful soul that could not believe in the Great Spirit...

891838  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-12-27
Written: (6353 days ago)

Mountain...
Heavy are Mountains.
But that changes over time.

Sky...
Blue Sky.
What your eyes can’t see.
What your eyes can see.

Sun...
There is only one

Water...
Comforting.
Ayla san?

Flower...
So many alike.
So many useless.

Sky...
Red, red sky.
Red is the color.
Red is the color I hate.

Water Flowing.

Blood...
The smell of blood.
A woman who never bleeds.
From the red earth comes man.
From the soil.
Born of man and woman is Man.

Town...
A human creation.

Robot...
A human creation as well.

What is human?
A creation of god?
Is it a human creation?
The things I possess are my life and soul.

Meditation...
The throne of a soul.
Who is this? This is me.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

I am myself.
This, that which is, is myself.
That which is formed is me.
This is the me that can be seen,
Yet it feels as if this is not myself.

A strange feeling.
I feel the presence of someone who is not me.
Who is there, beyond me here?

Who are you?
Who are you?
Who are you?

886010  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-12-12
Written: (6367 days ago)

my believes besides christianety i explored wicca, celtic and viking believes, buddhism and a little bit of hinduism

but my believe of the univers is this
all things in the univers need energy to live and grow
and if one thing dies that energy returns to a huge collectif to rest there until it has to be used again to let new life grow

i do believe in heaven and in a hell but not really like they explain but as a state of mind heaven being everything you wanted feeling warm having your friends close and not a worry in the sky

and the hell a place where you are alone feeling a void inside

884839  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-12-09
Written: (6370 days ago)

funny conversation between stewie and brian
-Brian: say something
-Stewie: what?
-Brian: just say something! please
-Stewie: ow for god sake,euhm euh yey and God said to abraham,'you will kill your son isaack.'
And Abraham said 'I cant hear you, you have to speak into the microphone' and God said 'ow i'm sorry, is this better check check check jerry pull the higher note i'm still getting a hiss back here'
-Brian: say something about my mother
-Stewie: ow yes

and the ow so funny
-Stewie: What's this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G ... oh, that's better than sex!

874472  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-11-13
Written: (6397 days ago)

Save the whales, hey funcky momma save those whales
Hey pretty babe save those whales, save those beatback funcky whales
Well save our whales but shoot the seal
Yeah o shoot them seals
Ooh the seals eat all the fish
Ooh shoot the seals
I wonder how it feels
If you thing i’m funcky for shooting all the seals, save your breath

864978  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-10-18
Written: (6423 days ago)

London 3045
The scene did not get futuristic but back to industry
everything has a beautiful 1888 look over it
a man walked down the street high class person with a white skin,black leather coat lined with fur,
dark purple vest, black hair in a tail, boots, a cane brown eyes and a small beard.
He enterd a building going ut to the 7th floor, he enterd his room and started to call on the videophone for his "job".
He told them it was done and awaited for the next
he hooked himself to the regulator a machine with 5 pins that was put directly into the chest he fell asleep
¨flashes of the past haunted his dreams a huge building many rooms every room had a number and barcode his was exp 153 the door opend a young child coverd in darkness lookd two head 4 eyes one pair full of life the other rather tired he awoke¨ [one day i will work on this]

843724  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-24
Written: (6478 days ago)

24/08/2006: I was pressent in that place stil my mind was dreaming,
looking at that girl how wonderfulll she was.
But time can't be changed i said to myself. Talking to her of past connections between us,
oh how wonderfull it all seemed talking about some random stuff stil coming to that one point we both feared those past moment of us,
as she talked i looked at her and back to the sky or ground
we came to a point silence fell between us how terrible it was
for it was the silence that must not be broken with words.
I looked at her she faintly smiles i did not dare to think what would follow but stil i did.
I slowly moved my head to her and kisses those lips i wished i never gave up,
ow stupid my actions were in the past but stil from those a human can only learn.
For in that night i fell that love again like nothing can come between us.
But suddenly like lightning that struck i realised it could not be.
I backed away feeling how wrong i was to kiss her but still i didn't want it to end.
(this was a fictional/msn meeting)

14/09/2006
at a later date we meeted for real i came to the place we meeted a boy sitting next to her a faint anger awoken in me
how it felt like she was showing right before my face to fuck off. I stayed not really knowing how to act, seeing that boy lay his hand on her she kissing him on the head. How i hated both of them time ticked away the boy lefted before he did i found out there was nothing between them still i thad my doubt we halked i bacame angres she calmed me down we hugged and that one act i missed so much happen we kisses. That love for her slumbering inside me grew as huges flames fuild by gasoline we talked of old and new feelings we kissed more just to one point. almost time for her to head home her last word it could not be. how could she tell that i could not believe it i knew she doesnt meanst it really she is just afraid of errors of the past.
how i love her so much its consummes me fully after taking more afterwards she doesnt want to tell what she truely wants i become inpatient how desperate i start feeling i want a anwser
here i sit alone consumed by love becoming a empty shell
only she can do something about it





working on something new in my room i cleared a space in my room and put in a small sofa behind it on the wal i started to spray a forest of bamboo with some animals and flowers how i like doing so it brings me peace and quietness to my soul i think i'll alway have something like that when i start drawing on paper or wall
i don't know why i'm telling maybe if i do this and you read it all you learn more about me things i would maybe never say
 The logged in version 

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