The ravings of a madman #1

One day when I was only eight years old, a pimp came up to me and offered me some coke. I happily recieved it and my world was turned upside down. I realized that time will go backwards if you look at a clock in the mirror. I did that once and met the great George Washington. He was all like "Yo dog?" and I was all like "No way!" and he was all like "Four score and eight beavers ago..." and I was like "Dude, I'm outtie"