[FUCK ELFTOWN]'s diary

601740  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-06-18
Written: (7101 days ago)

              "leave me alone"
im sick of it all just leave me alone.
leave me to dwell without being shown.
you take all this shit and shove it down my throat.
and leave me here to gasp and choke.
its all to much i cant stand it anymore
i dont even know what all this is for.
you tell me you love me you tell me you hate me.
make up your mind or just let me be.
you slip this poison into my mind.
putting my emotions into a grind.
just leave me alone just leave me at ease.
just go away leave me alone please.

601355  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)
Next in thread: 601464

             "my beloved depression"
im your beloved
im your curse
im only here to make things worse
im your star im your pain
im your desire washed in the rain
fill me with love fill me with death
can u feel it upon my breathe
cant u feel the awful pain that fills up inside
the awful feeling that decides to hide
im your imortal im your star
and your stuck with me by far.

601275  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)

              "my weakness"
stained with desire
my hopes let a fire
ive died inside just for you
so nows whats next to do.
ive bled for this ive bled for all.
ive done this in hopes ill take my fall.
so ill leave this place with no since to look back.
i wont let this build up inside of me
its eating away at me cant u see.
it hurts to laugh it pays to cry
wishing to go please let me die.
i cut at my wrists im taking these pills.
does this help your filthy thrills.

600954  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)

             "purified"
your voice it lightens
your smile it brightens
i love your laugh i love your eyes.
u take away everything that i despise
i wish i could hold you
theres nothing i wouldnt do
i love you so much please be mine
because if u would id be just fine.

600933  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)

           "years of dramatica"
i sit in silence waiting to die
i sit in this tomb wishing to cry
im left here mindless with no more tears
bathing and dwelling in my dramatic fears.
im stuck in dramatica im stuck in this pain
im stuck with no emotions i feel so slain
im knee deep in torment im bathing in death.
sitting breathing my last breathe.

600928  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)

            "cold"
what if i never saw u again.
would it be the end would it be my sin.
if i lost you would u ever be found.
if you werent mine would i hit the ground.
would i be shattered would i be broken.
would i be gagged bound and chokin.
we to feel alone like this place in my mind.
with emotions left there hard to find.
ive been waiting for this to unfold.
and now im left here broken and cold.

600905  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)
Next in thread: 600906

            "no longer"
bathed in hatred soaked in love
my prayers go no where not even above
slit my wrists to feel so alive.
kill me now so ill no longer thrive
im dieing inside i no longer wish to cry
im bleeding inside i no longer wish to die.
let me live let me be
im tired of this pain cant u see
my wrists are now bleeding.
death im now needing.
im hurting inside y wont it just leave.
so pain wont be all i believe.

600773  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (7102 days ago)

                "without"
i wish u were i wish u were mine
with out holding u its a thorn in my spine
im crying im bleed for you to come back.
hurting and straining from a broken heart.
did u even love me from the start.
i want you back i want you here.
i want to beable to hold you dear.
but it wont happen you'll never love me.
maybe there right were not meant to be.
but if i cant have you then i should give away.
cuz no longer in this world will i stay.

599413  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

            "raging"
blasphemy its your only insult everything u say to me is malice.
itching and burning like a infected calice.
burning through my mind like a raging fire.
giving away my deepest desire
id kill for you id die for you
id do anything u want me to.
but alls u can mutter is that you hate me so.
so watch me as i hit the floor.
covered in blood as i say no more.

599389  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)
Next in thread: 599404

            "my angel"
your my angel your my desire
your the one that set my soul a fire
you made me love you made me care.
cuz your purity is all i can bare.
i love how u laugh i love how u smile.
i love how u wipe away everything bile
i wish i could hold u i wish i could see you
cuz god the things i would do.

599372  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)
Next in thread:

               "my"
my love my obsession my deepest depression
come to me be my beloved possesion
i want your love i want your pain
i want to feel everthing that makes u slain
i want your body i want yout soul.
come on lets dwell in this worldly black hole
im your beloved im your only.
come to me so we wont feel lonely
i want to be inside you so i can feel your ways.
and yes you'll be mine for the rest of your days.

599363  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

                "her"
shes fake shes malice shes awfully vein
shes the knife to my wicked pain
she makes hurt she makes me bleed.
she makes me want she makes me need.
i love you i hate you i want nothing to do with you.
stay come back dont leave me here with nothing to do.
cut me hurt me make me cry
stab me beat me i wanna die
touch me hold me insult me some more
come to me and be my whore.
show me im nothing show me im hated.
show me how much i am degrated.

599193  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

              "inside my sin"
im deadly with pride im deadly with sin
im deadly with something im hiding with in
im deadly with demons left in my head.
im deadly with the hope that dies with no dread.
im yours to behold im yours to be held.
and no longer will i let this be celled.
im free and im well with hatred on my lips.
im deadly with a mind with poisonous tips.
im screaming im crying dont let this build up inside of me.
its blinding me i can no longer see.
its controling its demanding its heart wrenchingly sad.
but so far its the best feeling ive ever had.

599168  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

             "bounded"
slowly i watch as i take my fall
crying to anyone cry to all
im scared and im blind im broken im lost
i cant find my way not at any cost.
ive lost all wit ive lost all sanity
its all your fault and your ruthless vanity
broken to pieces like glass hitting the floor.
im noting now no not anymore
i wish to in solitare i wish to be alone.
i wish to casted into pure hard stone.

598784  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

          "wishing"
so now whats left am i sitting here alone
am i here to serve like ur fucked up drone
im sitting here alone waiting to die
because nothing else will let me cry
i tried to love i tried to live
but something inside just would not give
so now im alone with no where to be
im sitting here alone wishing to see.

598773  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

"its you i adore"
its you i adore as my jaw hits the floor
its you i adore and nothing more
its you i adore and like the sweetest scent
its you i adore with the fullest extent
its you i adore that makes me happy
its you i adore o god i hope this aint sappy
its you i adore i wish you were mine
its you i adore god that would be fine.

598771  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

            "i died for love"
is everything alright is there something a miss
is it all malice is there nothing left bliss
is it true that i died
i died on the inside
i died because u lied
i died when i cried
i bled for your cause i died for your love.
i died cuz ur face was all i dreamed of
i died for you i died for love...

598763  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

            "a road to behold"
IM ALONE IN THIS WORLD WITH NO WERE LEFT TO GO.
IM LEFT HERE ALONE WITH NO EMOTION TO SHOW.
IVE PAINTED THESE SCARS TO EASE MY HATE.
BUT NO IT DOESNT IT WONT SUBSIDE MY FATE.
IVE GONE OVER PAIN WAY TO LONG.
AND NOW NOTHINGS LEFT TO KEEP ME STRONG.
IVE BEEN DITCHED IVE BEEN FORGOTTEN.
BUT MY LIFE HAS BECOME NOTHING BUT ROTTEN.
I GET LESS RESPECT THEN WHAT I SHOW TO MANY.
BUT NO NONE OF THEM CARE NOT ANY.
IM TIRED AND IM BURNT AND IM WORN AWAY.
GOD DONT LEAVE ME ALIVE ANOTHER DAY.
I WISH TO HANG I WISH TO BLEED.
DIEING IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY THING I NEED.
IM DRUNK AND IM LONELY FACING THE MIRROR.
WISHING THINGS WOULD BECOME CLEARER.
SO NOW ITS TIME TO SAY GOODBYE
THANKS FOR CARING IM GLAD U WANTED TO TRY.
BUT THERES NOTHING LEFT TO SEE NO WHERE TO GO.
SO ILL SIT BACK WITH THE BLADE IN MY HANDS AND ENJOY THE SHOW.

598710  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (7104 days ago)

              "follow"
ive died inside from your malice ways
ive been bleeding inside for countless days
my emotions are nothing my heart is now cold.
for once im left with nothing to hold.
ive fallen apart with out this show.
ive left my mind with no where to go.
i feel so alone i feel so damn hollow.
i tried to scream but no one would follow.
im scared and im broken.
im playing this game with out my token.
u left me alone with nothing to say.
slowly i cried as my heart gave way.

597964  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-06-14
Written: (7105 days ago)
Next in thread: 597979

         "my morbid angel"
once blinded by greed
my concience is freed
no longer i walk a shallow hall
waiting in silence to make my fall
u came a long and u made me feel.
u made it like my dreams can be real.
u made laugh u made me smile.
pulling me out of hollow deniel.
im lost without u ill never be found.
no longer will there words bring to the ground.
it was u my spore my tiniest jewel.
as the tears of joy run down my face
i now know im not a disgrace.

595896  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-06-11
Written: (7108 days ago)
Next in thread: 596300, 597249

                "back up"
pick yourself up im not done
god ahead leave im having fun
u tried to stop me from what i do
u tried to change me so id be you
but fuck your shit im gonna stay
go ahead let ur words astray
im good at what i do im good at what i write
and if u wanna stop me then prepare for a fight.

 The logged in version 

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