"i wanted"
so now i sit with a broken heart
wondering how all this could start
i tried to love i tried to care.
but now things are ruined it just isnt fair.
i wanted to smile i wanted to laugh.
i wanted you all to see my better half
i tried so hard to make things right.
but i guess i lost the fight.
i wish i could change this i wish i could turn back.
i wish this didnt affect me like a painful heart attack.

          "lay back"
sit down smoke a blunt have some fun
lay back just wait till were done
feeling high feeling dizzy.
o its my drink nice and fizzy
im high as balls what should i do.
i think ill smoke bowl or two
so lets lay back and smoke some shit.
just lay back and dont care a bit.

"shamed"
shamed to feel alive shamed to feel so damn good.
shamed that i hide behind this hood.
crucified for my perfection
lost with out my protection
lost in this malice content.
lieing in a world torn and bent.
slip me some poison slip me your words.
slip something so this isnt what im towards.
slap me a shameful glance of glass and wine.
slam it down so ill feel fine
never open yourself this way
hold these words i wont say
i find in you what i lost
open eyes for a diffrent cost.

"shamed"
shamed to feel alive shamed to feel so damn good.
shamed that i hide behind this hood.
crucified for my perfection
lost with out my protection
lost in this malice content.
lieing in a world torn and bent.
slip me some poison slip me your words.
slip something so this isnt what im towards.
slap me a shameful glance of glass and wine.
slam it down so ill feel fine
never open yourself this way
hold these words i wont say
i find in you what i lost
open eyes for a diffrent cost.

         "nothing else matters"
im locked away inside my mind.
and each day its harder to find.
ive lost my time ive lost my gaze.
im paying for my sinning ways.
im sitting here mumbling im sitting here crying
but its to late ive given up trying
so now im here with you so wheres my tear.
wheres the hope that drowned my fear.
but i scream nothing else matters.
as my heart slips away and shatters

           "cast me away"
the same as always im here alone.
sitting and pondering as im cast in stone.
im fighting for this im loosing to you.
now im stuck not knowing what to do
im cutting myself to feel so alive.
but alone i stand knowing i wont strive.
im loosing this battle im falling down.
im loosing to you im loosing my crown.
cast me away so ill no longer feel.
cast me away so i wont heal.

         "hollow wish"
so now i cry with these bloody tears.
slowly i incounter my deepest fears.
i died inside for your deepest imbrace.
wishing i could see your purest face.
i died to feel your reteched love.
it felt so gracious like a pure white dove.
im dieing to feel you just one more time.
wishing that all of this didnt feel like a crime.
im wiped away im feeling broken.
leave me alone with my silence unspoken.

            "my niece"
shes my only shes my star.
shes the prettiest oh by far.
she makes me so happy she makes things ok.
she runs through my mind everyday
shes funny shes smart
and this i could tell from the start
shes pretty she a saint shes my angel.
no matter what the angle.
shes so sweet shes so great.
her voice has driven me from my fate.

             "years of dramatica"pt.2
you told me lies you made me bleed.
when only love is all i need.
you made me cry you made hurt.
you took my pride and through it in dirt.
you told me you hate me you told me im dead.
now living alone is all i dread.
i wanted so much more i wanted it all.
but now its to late ive taken my fall.
im bleeding alone im drowning in tears.
because of many painful years.
now im sitting here waiting to die.
wishing and praying that i would cry.
to stop from this
to make everything bliss.
to make everything else just go away.
so my depression will leave me at bay.
but it wont im emotionless now.
and sometimes i dont even know how.
so now im waiting praying for death.
hoping that i will breathe my last breathe.

        "in yours"
im your sin im your lie
im the reason y u cry
im your obession im your death
im your one and only breathe.
im your tears im your prayer.
im the one who will always stare.
so give me your love dont u dare hide.
show me deep what is inside.

          "has it"
sit with me and here me speak.
do my words make u weak.
will u fall flat on your face.
and cause your big disgrace
is this the end is it our fall.
will u come and take it all.
is this the last is it the one.
or has this all just begun.

              "leave me alone"
im sick of it all just leave me alone.
leave me to dwell without being shown.
you take all this shit and shove it down my throat.
and leave me here to gasp and choke.
its all to much i cant stand it anymore
i dont even know what all this is for.
you tell me you love me you tell me you hate me.
make up your mind or just let me be.
you slip this poison into my mind.
putting my emotions into a grind.
just leave me alone just leave me at ease.
just go away leave me alone please.

             "my beloved depression"
im your beloved
im your curse
im only here to make things worse
im your star im your pain
im your desire washed in the rain
fill me with love fill me with death
can u feel it upon my breathe
cant u feel the awful pain that fills up inside
the awful feeling that decides to hide
im your imortal im your star
and your stuck with me by far.

              "my weakness"
stained with desire
my hopes let a fire
ive died inside just for you
so nows whats next to do.
ive bled for this ive bled for all.
ive done this in hopes ill take my fall.
so ill leave this place with no since to look back.
i wont let this build up inside of me
its eating away at me cant u see.
it hurts to laugh it pays to cry
wishing to go please let me die.
i cut at my wrists im taking these pills.
does this help your filthy thrills.

             "purified"
your voice it lightens
your smile it brightens
i love your laugh i love your eyes.
u take away everything that i despise
i wish i could hold you
theres nothing i wouldnt do
i love you so much please be mine
because if u would id be just fine.

           "years of dramatica"
i sit in silence waiting to die
i sit in this tomb wishing to cry
im left here mindless with no more tears
bathing and dwelling in my dramatic fears.
im stuck in dramatica im stuck in this pain
im stuck with no emotions i feel so slain
im knee deep in torment im bathing in death.
sitting breathing my last breathe.

            "cold"
what if i never saw u again.
would it be the end would it be my sin.
if i lost you would u ever be found.
if you werent mine would i hit the ground.
would i be shattered would i be broken.
would i be gagged bound and chokin.
we to feel alone like this place in my mind.
with emotions left there hard to find.
ive been waiting for this to unfold.
and now im left here broken and cold.

            "no longer"
bathed in hatred soaked in love
my prayers go no where not even above
slit my wrists to feel so alive.
kill me now so ill no longer thrive
im dieing inside i no longer wish to cry
im bleeding inside i no longer wish to die.
let me live let me be
im tired of this pain cant u see
my wrists are now bleeding.
death im now needing.
im hurting inside y wont it just leave.
so pain wont be all i believe.

                "without"
i wish u were i wish u were mine
with out holding u its a thorn in my spine
im crying im bleed for you to come back.
hurting and straining from a broken heart.
did u even love me from the start.
i want you back i want you here.
i want to beable to hold you dear.
but it wont happen you'll never love me.
maybe there right were not meant to be.
but if i cant have you then i should give away.
cuz no longer in this world will i stay.

            "raging"
blasphemy its your only insult everything u say to me is malice.
itching and burning like a infected calice.
burning through my mind like a raging fire.
giving away my deepest desire
id kill for you id die for you
id do anything u want me to.
but alls u can mutter is that you hate me so.
so watch me as i hit the floor.
covered in blood as i say no more.

            "my angel"
your my angel your my desire
your the one that set my soul a fire
you made me love you made me care.
cuz your purity is all i can bare.
i love how u laugh i love how u smile.
i love how u wipe away everything bile
i wish i could hold u i wish i could see you
cuz god the things i would do.