i shall soon be drowning in paper...oh gosh...

rani...tis pretty when it's pouring or when there's a tiny reminder of the sun through the clouds or when outside generally looks pretty...this rain is boring and i don't want to be stuck inside...i have huge motivation to go for a run...yes...i actually want to exercise and yes i want to be outside...grrrrr silly rain...

why does everything happen the first day of half term...october, february, easter and now may...goodness sake...mother has spent the day going "do you still want these? shall i get rid of this? will you want this at uni?" bloody hell i've only just left school...i'm not leaving home tomorrow although i might as well...

i'm getting proper old...it's 8pm on a friday evening and i'm heading to bed...oh dearie me...

it's so weird...we've left but it doesn't feel like it...we had such a fabulous afternoon =) maybe it'll sink in when i don't have to drag myself out of bed after half term...hmmmmmmm

on the other hand...yaye! i made vT cry :) this has been my aim all year =P

stupid itchy bracelet rash...

Pros:

-huge opportunity
-i can start my life over
-it's a new country
-it's far away
-long flights
-it's doing something i love
-i can return for teacher training
-opportunity to conquer fears
-crazy holidays...roadtrip opportuinities...can see friends at unis
-going to Rome and Athens for a holiday will sound daring
-get away from mother...yaye!

Cons:

-i don't want to leave some people behind
-i'll miss england like goodness knows what
-it's a new country
-it's too far away
-jet lag
-i can do that something i love here too
-what if teacher training doesn't accept New Zealand degrees?
-i'm gonna have to conquer my fear of eating abroad
-crazy holidays...won't always be able to get home to see friends
-far away for "educational" holidays
-if i change my mind i have no backup plan

oh my gosh...am i making the right decision...?

it is impossible to make a cake shaped like a column without it looking dodgy...oh gosh...

oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh

Dear Rebecca Joanne S*****,

I'm pleased to inform you that, subject to meeting the conditions laid out below, you have been accepted onto the Bachelor of Arts programme, commencing Trimester 1, 2009.

CONDITIONS OF OFFER:

Obtain at least three A-levels at Grade C or higher. Provide full original/certified academic transcripts.

An offer pack with details of fees and accommodation is now on its way to you.

We look forward to welcoming you to Victoria University. 

Best wishes,

Naomi West

*dances* oh my gosh...this is one way to make a sad week better =)

becca thinks it's rather funny it took her mother 7 hours to realise that her daughter's hair is no longer straight...it's wonderful how observant she is!

i might have laughed like crazy about it...i might have denied it completely...i definitely hate myself for giving in to temptation last night...i'm not letting myself get like that again...

i'm not appreciating the fact the one week i have a social life i have cramp also...grrrrrrrrrrrr nor am i appreciating my driving instructor inquiring ab out the plaster on my wrist with the question "have you been slitting your wrists this week or something?" when in actual fact i have a pretty little hole type cut there where i accidently caught my thumb nail...hmmmmmmm this is hard to explain while driving towards a roundabout though so she got "i have a hole in my wrist where i stabbed myself, gouged my skin, scraped it" as the response instead and looked suitably squeamish =P
other than that i'm incredibly thankful that my class civ exam occured without disasters and that so far i'm still in one piece...and that so far my jewellery making is going well...and we paper mached masks...i am slightly scared of suey now though...she's out to get me =/

i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate heri hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate heri hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her

"her" being my mother...and actually it's my fault i hate her but still...bitch

things i have learnt in the last three days:
-my friends are awesome even when i collapse on them
-my form tutor is a cow
-my form tutor as my english teacher is a bitch
-my form tutor/english teacher is actually out to get me
-i'm going to be having a shouting match with my year head on monday for more than one reason
-my mother is more than likely going to ground me for the rest opf my life when she checks her emails

oh joy...it'll be impressive if i make it to Tuesday alive...

7 weeks still stands...i have no motivation to work now...there's a level in my head and right now this level is being met...one bit more and i'll crumble...

also for the record haribo as a bribe for work fails...you eat the haribo and do no work...oh darn it...

and for you guys who know me...my mother's read my yearbook now...

7 weeks...it's so tempting but i'm not gonna let her ruin me...i can't let her get to me this much...i can't...i won't...

ahahahahahahahahaha i love my mother...hmmmmmmmmmmmm if i only could say that to her face...

i seruously do not know what is wrong with me...was really enjoying yoga then we got to lay down for 10 mins...my breathing control is getting pretty good...but then we had to get up again and i was trying hard not to burst into tears...i just felt wrong...i can't really explain it...i felt like dizzy and shaky and stuff but also empty...it was weird...it's not the first time this has happened though...it's weird...

owhhhhhhhhhhhhh i just got invited to go to disneyland and paris for 3 days...but i can't go because 1) it's over my birthday and 2) because i'm spending the middle day in Brussels with my favourite people instead =)

ah well there's always august to go to disneyland instead =)

i feel like i've achieved something today...i rarely say that but today i actually can...i've turned out all my drawers and wardrobes, rearranged my clothes and have 2 bags of unwanted/uber huge clothes to give to charity...i've baked lots of cake and eaten a considerable amount too...i feel really good about it all =)

and and and mummy bought a set of scales at the weekend, which means she's finally trusting me again to not go and starve myself, and it means i can weigh myself more to see how much weight i'm actually losing and make sure it's a good amount but not ridiculously quickly =) yaye!

*twirls making skirt go all up and happy*

so we leave school on 23rd may...it's quite soon...i'll be half glad to leave...but why, whenever pranks o nthe last day are mentioned, does my conscience get the better of me and i sit and think "is it really fair to do this...after all they've helped us get through" seriously it makes me feel ill...i don't feel right taking part in the pranks at all...oh goodness i'm a loser and a geek =/