there is actually nowhere online where i can find happiness anymore...
*more screaming* quotes Goo Goo Dolls "why won't you listen?"
*screams* i hate this life...kill me
why do the emails hurt me so much?
so i went to see my nana today...she's alright...she didn't shut up which means she's fine...don't know what was wrong with her either...she's taking 9 pills each morning and evening though...it's worrying...but at least i know she's better...i'd like to thank the people that were worried about me being so worried...so thank you: no-one...yup that's right no-one cared...actual
so she's not coming home tonight as we were told...there was no-one to do one test she needs before she can be discharged...s
so yeah...i just found out my nana went into hospital on wednesday...as if this week couldn't get worse...and you think you have problems...
some small person tried to strangle me with my necklace last night...i wish she had
so there i was reading through some old diary notes of people and realised how useless i am...i'm never in the right place at the right time, always the wrong place at the wrong time...i can't ever seem to get anything right...i messed up the easiest part of my classics exa,...i have to go into school so i actually revise...i can't keep my friends long enough without arguing with them over something pathetic...i miss too many people...i miss the way it was this time last year...i live in the past way too much...i should live for today...i can't even see myself living tomorrow let alone going to uni...i can't stand the fact i'm completely emotionless at the moment...i can't cry...i can't scream...i can't smile...i can't laugh...i'm dead...and if i'm not dead it's how i'd like to be right now...and not one person will read this
*sings* I'm dreaming of some Greek temples, Just like the ones in the exam
yes that song is going around in my head...yes i have been dreaming about temples for the last three hours...argh whyyyyyyyyyyyy
there's days you wish you knew what was going on and why things were happening...
sometimes there are people i want to punch...
despite the fact i messed everything up, everything that was bugging me suddenly disappeared...
*vaguely happier than before*
why do i ask some questions when i know the answers will further kill me inside?
i hate this so much...
the next person to mention marriage/weddi
there's sometimes when i want to go somewhere on the internet and just forget about life in the real world. why the hell do people bring the things i try to forget on here?
sometimes you get this feeling of loneliness, like everyone else in the world doesn't care about you anymore, like they've all deserted you, like they don't find you important anymore, when you need to talk to someone but the person you find it easiest to talk to is a part of the story, like you just want someone to notice you again and you want that feeling of being loved.
i'm so so scared this feeling will last forever
xxx
what the hell do you do when your friend is wasting her life by dropping out of school and going against her parents wishes? and now her mother wants her to move out as well.
what on earth can i say to her to change her mind. gah shove me right in the middle why doesn't she?
sometimes I wish I could read people's minds. it would make my life easier and i wouldn't worry so much about people.
that's all of my randomness tonight.
xxx
there's something wrong somewhere but i can't work out what. i'm worried but i don't know why. i'm stressed but i have no reason to be. i want to talk but no-one wants to listen. what's wrong with everyone?