the subtle hint to move out:

mummy: becca i know we only live an hour away from canterbury uni and it's really easy to get to and all, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try and get accomodation there...
becca: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

on the other hand becca had subway today so is happy :)

things i have learnt this evening:

snails were the first animals to be herded for food
snails have lovedarts...
there is a rhubarb triangle somewhere up north(leeds, bradford and wakefield methinks)
rhubarb is not grown at gunpoint although it was suggested
if you eat NOTHING BUT rabbit you will die, so have carrots and peas too :)
alan davis can win sometimes

i'm never gonna be an auntie...i'm not even gonna be a mum...i might have already chosen names for my children(Lydia Imogen and Joshua Graham) but i couldn't cope with having them...i'm too scared that i'll get hurt...and i don't ever want to go through what some of my friends have...i can't imagine committing myself to one person for life...it's terrifying...

pathetic isn't it?

i.hate.essays.on.Othello.when.my.teacher.thinks.i'm.stupid.and.can't.do.it.myself.so.does.a.plan.for.me.which.makes.no.sense.whatsoever.argh.

the Guide Association have published some activity booklet that is effectively sex education...that's been hastily shoved away...like we're teaching them that :S

mummy says i'm not allowed coffee...then she buggers off out for the evening...like i'm gonna listen to her *coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

today's conversations:

counsellor: how're you today?
me: really good
counsellor: oh...

counsellor: if you could give a theme to your week, what would it be?
me: actually pretty amazing, apart from one day
counsellor: oh...

hahahaha she well hates me today :P

form tutor: it's nice to have you back in this form this afternoon
me: *what-the-heck-is-she-on-about look*

yeah...help?

5 hours after being given coffee by my year head, i'm still shaking...and it has nothing to do with the big cup of coffee i have sitting next to me either :S

my form tutor's advice this morning when telling me how to do the essay i haven't looked at yet because all i've been thinking about since 2 weeks ago is "funeral...": "forget about the funeral, well don't forget, just don't think about it because you need to concentrate on your work"...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

and you don't need to tell me at lunch that smoking kills...i think i know this...

erm...i'm meant to be helping at a small people evening at school tonight but have no idea what i'm meant to do...could be interesting...

i'm rather scared about tomorrow though :S

my parents are rubbish liars...
me: mum, what's wrong?
mum: *rubbing eyes* i've just got something in it...a bit of grit that's all...
me: hmmm...

me: dad what are you doing?
dad: *rubbing eyes* just rubbing my eyes...they're tired
me: hmmm...

grrrrrr

i'm such an evil cow...i'm totally rubbish...and i know i sound like i'm self-centred...but i don't mean to be...

i'm now in trouble because, although i'm eating, i'm not eating enough...

and i wish people knew how rubbish they make me feel even when they're joking about stuff...

ok so it's almost 10pm...that's like two hours after i usually go to bed...why do they put good tv on at 9pm? why am i still awake and bothering to watch this tv programme?

*laughs so hard* Warwick make you read the rubbish Lattimore translations of The Odyssey and The Iliad...hahahahahahahaha *giggles*

i've spent so long worrying about myself i've forgotten everyone else i care for...i'm sorry you guys...just because i'm feeling sorry for myself like a loser doesn't mean i don't still care...

there's so much in my head i need to say...but i can't get the word's out...it's making me explode inside...i hate it...

so i've spent the last hour clearing out old photos off the computer...and goodness i've changed quite a bit...

i found the photos of my uncle graham so i'm now happy, but i can't find any of my uncle alf...which isn't fair...

today's still rubbish though...i wish we could go back to easter and relive it again and again...i'd say goodbye to my uncle properly, email him more before july...

cramps are gay...and i'm having nightmares about going to pizza hut...along with a few other things...oh dear...and just for reference...please don't talk about boxes for the next few weeks...

i can tell things are getting to everyone...everyone snaps at everyone else...someone find me an excuse to get me out of the house, yeah?

i've lost all my photos of half term two years ago...i want them back...i need them...i can't cope with just one photo....