ok...crowded cinema...what are the odds of knowing people there? minimal...the odds of sitting next to these people that you know(bear in mind you haven't gone with them)...even smaller...so why the heck was I sitting next to Erin and Ollie this evening at the cinema...oh dearie me...

whatttttttttttttttttttttt? sex toy adverts on tv?! seriously help...i did not want to see that advert...

strangest conversation of the day:

small child: look mummy! these are my knickers!
small child's mother: why are your knickers not on you?! you know you should be wearing them!

then i walked too far to hear the rest and to be honest why they were having this loud discussion in their back garden with is next to the pavement that goes up my road i do not know...

oh my gosh i've never been so nervous about an exam...it was worse than even the first GCSE exam we did...i've never felt so ill...ok really i'm still ill so maybe it wasn't enitrely nerves but still...eurgh i'm fed up of having a rubbish immune system in SUMMER! grrrrr

i don't understand why when i'm desperately trying to catch up on sleep on the sofa my dad needs to come in and turn the tv on...then turn it up quite a bit to watch a shiity Simpsons repeat...then complain that it's a repeat...why can't he let me sleep? it's now or in the class civ exam and really i'd prefer it to be now...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

grrrr ill again...stupid cough, headache and dizziness...my mum's suggestion was "sleep"...how the heck do you sleep when you have an exam tomorrow and you don't feel at all ready and know you won't be able to do for feeling so rubbish? bleh...if i'm still ill next week i'm gonna be really annoyed...hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm to stop revising chemistry and fail it for a third time, knowing i'm 3 marks off a decent grade or to not learn classics to start with and never have a chance to resit it and show the unis how useless i am at the subject i want to study..hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

NOTE TO SELF: remember to take a calculator on Wednesday or you'll fail for sure...

i'm not going to get annoyed...i'm not going to get angry...i'm going to remain patient and calm and not react...hmmm

eurgh...as much as i love my friend Leanne she came to visit the other day with a dreadful chest infection/cough thing...ok it's probably worse because she smokes but she was going to cancel then thought "ah becca won't mind if i'm ill" so guess what...now i have a stupid cough and sore throat...grrrrrrrrr back to being ill again...

"preaching to people isn't being much of an accepting friend tbh"

someone directed that comment at me earlier...am i really that awful?

59% on last year's paper...that's absymal but ah well...actually not ah well i have less than a week to get that percentage a lot higher...intense past paper wokring on Sunday methinks...

and the healthy-ness has improved slightly...went for a 40 minute walk to mummy's work today, then of course 40 minutes walk back again...and i've eaten a huge bowl of beans and peas and a banana and a carrot and maybe i shall have an apple later...let's ignore the icecream i've also eaten today...oops

having not really looked at module 2 for chemistry forr a year why did last summer's paper seem so easy when i did it half an hour ago? hmmmmmmmmmmm having said that i'm yet to mark it...off for a walk to mummy's new place of work first =)

in the past 36hours i've put on 4lbs...that's not good so starting from now i'm going on a diet...fruit and veg mainly methinks...no rice...and minimal pasta and potatoes...let's see how long this lasts...oh and lots of coffee...of the decaf variety...strangely all my caffienated coffee has vanished =(

i'm glad i insisted on finishing my revision before going food shopping...or i might have had to make conversation/constantly hide from Saunders...instead i just said "oooh look that's Saunders" as he drove away...thank goodness for that =)

today's classics revision: summaries of each tragedy...

~Oedipus~

O: i want to find out who killed my father
T: no you don't
O: yes i do
T: no you don't
O: yes i do
T: no you don't
O: oh bother it was me...*stabs eyes*

~Hippolytus~

N: you're lovesick
P: no i'm not
N: yes you are
P: no i'm not...ok maybe i am...
N: it's Hippolytus
P: no it's not
N: yes it is
P: no it's not...ok maybe it is...keep it secret
N: ok...oops told him...

~The Bacchae~

D: dress as a woman
P: don't want to
D: yes you do
P: no i don't
D: yes you do
P: no i don't
D: yes you do...you'll get to see naked women...
P: ok then...=)

seriously...why aren't these plays creative?

hmmmmmmm the internet on one's laptop is broken...this means one does not have msn...this is not necessarily a bad thing when one is trying to focus on one's revision however one wants to finalise plans for tomorrow asap...one normally moans to one's father and then one's father proceeds to knowlingly prod the cables underneath the computer and one's internet is revived...however one's father is in sodding France this week...one is not impressed and does not trust oneself to fix the computer without exploding many other things...ah bugger...

i shall soon be drowning in paper...oh gosh...

rani...tis pretty when it's pouring or when there's a tiny reminder of the sun through the clouds or when outside generally looks pretty...this rain is boring and i don't want to be stuck inside...i have huge motivation to go for a run...yes...i actually want to exercise and yes i want to be outside...grrrrr silly rain...

why does everything happen the first day of half term...october, february, easter and now may...goodness sake...mother has spent the day going "do you still want these? shall i get rid of this? will you want this at uni?" bloody hell i've only just left school...i'm not leaving home tomorrow although i might as well...

i'm getting proper old...it's 8pm on a friday evening and i'm heading to bed...oh dearie me...

it's so weird...we've left but it doesn't feel like it...we had such a fabulous afternoon =) maybe it'll sink in when i don't have to drag myself out of bed after half term...hmmmmmmm

on the other hand...yaye! i made vT cry :) this has been my aim all year =P

stupid itchy bracelet rash...

Pros:

-huge opportunity
-i can start my life over
-it's a new country
-it's far away
-long flights
-it's doing something i love
-i can return for teacher training
-opportunity to conquer fears
-crazy holidays...roadtrip opportuinities...can see friends at unis
-going to Rome and Athens for a holiday will sound daring
-get away from mother...yaye!

Cons:

-i don't want to leave some people behind
-i'll miss england like goodness knows what
-it's a new country
-it's too far away
-jet lag
-i can do that something i love here too
-what if teacher training doesn't accept New Zealand degrees?
-i'm gonna have to conquer my fear of eating abroad
-crazy holidays...won't always be able to get home to see friends
-far away for "educational" holidays
-if i change my mind i have no backup plan

oh my gosh...am i making the right decision...?