its no wonder ii feel insecure..so many ppl dont notice me becaus ei wont let them...i say im outgoing ad fun..i am fun..but only to the friends i already have..in truht im not that outgoing..i keep to myself..i dont like taking risks, and im shy when it comes to guys..maybe if i loosened up ppl would like me more...ii dont know whats wrong with me..its like ive locked myself up over the years and now the binds are too strong, and i cant let myself go...my parens are partially to blame..THEy wont let me go either..im not that social because i have no life..other than on the street i live on..im not allowed to walk around or ride my bike anywhere other than up and down my street..im 14 yrs. old and they treat me like a baby..they really need to lossen up a bit and realize im turning fifteen this year not 5....these are supposed to be the best years of my life..instead im cooped uo and afraid of leting go..and having a little bit of fun and too scraed to rebell......somebody help me..cuz im about to suffocate and if i dont do that then im going lose my mind....

wow..its been forever since i wrote in here....but o well, here goes..time to let it all out..show ppl(who care), how i really feel....

  about 4 months ago i was suffering...suffering from depression..or at least what i thought was depression..it lasted for what seemed like eternity...my self esteem was as low as possible, though i didnt care what others thought of me.it seemed that no one noticed me..like i was invisble, and no one even cared..i had no one to talk to..i still have no one to talk to, i dont know what snapped me back into reality..but something did..and for that i am greatfull....
it used to be that i was always angry or sad or even emotionless,where i felt nothing..i would break down and cry for no particular reason...just cuz all the pain, all the rage was bubbling up inside...i just couldnt take it..i wanted out, but i had no escape..so it went on and on..me...suffering, it was as if everybody was moving on..everyone but me..they were all flashing on by while i stood still, frozen in time and scared of change....i contanly wrote in my journal..or wrote down poems and song expressing my feelings...i share them with no one....they're mine to look back on and to reflect upon..to remember how i felt...there for a while i did become VERY concerned about what others thought of me..i hated myself and the way i looked..at first i tried to stop eating..my parents wouldnt let me though..so i would eat a little at dinner but never anything else..but then i just gave up and realized there was nothing wrong with me..the ppl who didnt like me were the ones with the problems....now..im just me..crazy,outgoing,fun,i luv to be with friends and family as much as possible, and im happy...finally happy...sumtimes i still sink back into it..i feel alone..or unimportant..but im way happier and ive realized that im NOT alone..and that no matter what i am who i am..and i cant expect others to like me or to except me until i learn to like and except myself....and slowly i have..i finally know who i am and who i want to be later on in life.....im happy just being the one and only....Tammy mae hall...lol

the guys here rock!

yea..lots more new freinds...alot of the guys on here on really sweet...especilly my buddy wyldemanx(charles) who is awesome and disturbed youth, dan...he's awesome too and i love it that both of them like rock cuz they're just cool like that. then theres sexgod#1 he's really good looking but remember girls, looks arent everything he seemed nice at first and when i dint tell him my bra size he quite talking to me, so dont let him be seductive

wow1only my second day here and ive got lots of cool freinds already, like jeff (im not okay), olwe carnesir, and best of all...the awesome.....th eone and only...wyldemannx aka charles who in my opinion happens to be the cutest , and sweetest guy on here;) this place is awesome!