In skool, pist off about something but wont mention what... what are you gana do, going to horse camp fri. prob. wont be online either untill sun night, or be on the phone or be able to communicte with john in any manner, shit this sucks i cant go 3 days withought talking to him.. ill melt... oo im gana mail him tongiht yaaa i can do that to keeep me busy.. there ya go.
love *me

i think i might be falling to fast for this guy, maybe making the same mistake over again.. but another part of me say's diffrent.. me and tosh just smoked up and now were sitting here stoned watching some porn or some shit on t.v. haha andrew is an asshole i dont know what i saw in him.. even i talked to him tonight to see if he was still alive, and i told him about john and he screamed at me. i asked if he was mad, and he screamed "i dont fucking even care!" he never did really care about me, he just liked to get me drunk or take pills and id get all fucked up or pass out and he had his way with me at times, whitch scared me, and one time i was just telliing him how my day went and he's like "what do you want a fucking cookie or soemthing?" and i was like " cant i just tell you how my day went?"
well i guess i couldnt, and with john i can tell him anything and he actually understands me and listens to me. i ahve alot to think about
im praying that poppie is ok, i dont care about horse camp any more, i just want him to get better, images flash through my mind of the day he fell and the ambulance came, but one special ting came out of that day, 'john swept me off my feet and held me and whispered to me, i could have cried just for that, no one knows how much that ment to me and il will allways remmember that, damn im getting tired so im going to bed, i love you all.
your baby girl~ *Me

im happy and pist,pist becouse ppl are bein assholes, happy becouse i got to talk to my hunnie again today, he's diifrrent but i like that about him, he treats me sooo well i still cant believe it at times, it just takes my breath away, becouse i guess im used to guys treating me like shit, becouse in the past i was just used and i guess i didnt see that till it was over, but what do you do, learn from your mistakes and try to move on, and im happy that i have moved on becouse i found someone that truly cares, and i guess that what matters, its just .. i cant stand to be hurt badly again.. but im willing to take that risk. i love you babe.