ooo maybe when tom comes to get tj john could hitch a ride and spend 3 days down here w/ me....... hmmmm he could also help poppie becouse tj is away...... and then sat. when we go to amanda's b.day party he would come with us spend the day w/ me again sat. then go home! yaaaaaaaaaaaaa
went trail riding for 2 and 1/2 hours was fun
i just typed all of my thoughst and shit in this and it didnt save
dman it i dont want to do it again so i guess i wont ill just idk type somethings.
oo guess what i found a new trail yesterday while riding and badger wouldnt cross the bridge (he allways does) so i went and expected it, and the boeards were shitty, so thx to Badger im still laive.. he's soo smart i love him to death...
people on aol wont stop bothering me!!! i wan ago play basket ball with tj again. im gana be alone thurs. fri and most of sat. couse tj is goin home for a bit.... i dont know if i can go w/ him .. to see john for 3 days would be awsome!!!. but no i cant i have work sat. morning . DAMN TI!
last night was fun and i was really happy i got to see john wich made my week, he was really nicce and kind to me like always, i think i figured something out though, he's a boob man, lol he likes to play with the boobies, haha i dont mind feels good and it puts those knots in your tummie so you cant beat that, its just he tempts me soooo much when we cant do anything! and it sucks reall bad. Poppie was giving hima hard time, but he was only joking, then he gave me a quick and nice good bye kiss and wtahced him leave.
talked to andy last night, he's over me he hung out with his X (i think there back togeather) and some other chicky of his, i asked him if he gotlaid and he said "its none of your fucking bussiness, maybe i did, maybe i didnt". so ya he probably did, i dont know wy i even bother with him, *you never foreget your first.* and its true becouse no matter how hard i try i will allways rmemebr , he will haunt me till i die and that shit sux, but i have to be gratefull for the one im with now, he treats me like no one has ever before and no one know's how that makes me feel, the only time a man has ever touched me or kissed or carressed me was to get laid, it was for himslef .. not for me, and for once i have someone that does it .. for love.
*Britt*
bored waiting for a special someone to arrive, have been waiting all damn dya and its getting thebest of me and i need a smoke but i ran all out becouse ims tipid like that and hd to smoke four in one day.
worked today washed dishes and waitressed a little it was fun and mad 15$ in 3hours.
told nannie nad poppie that i wana be out of 4-H sort of they undestand but ti was kinda hard.. atleast its over and done with now
soooooo
im gana go lseep and hopefully when i ake up my princ wil be by my side.
well we came home this mornign to get ready for ashley's graduation, ash is my sister and im so very proud of her, my whole life i have been striving to be a little like her, i kinda am, but im my own pearson..
horse camp is boring! im sorry i just dont have the same feeling's about it as i did when i was smaller, waking up at 5 am and cleaning horse shit isnt exactly a great time for me, but i do love going out in the morning when the sun is rising and feeding the hungry beasts, then just watching them munch happily .
well i have to go
later *Britt*
In skool, pist off about something but wont mention what... what are you gana do, going to horse camp fri. prob. wont be online either untill sun night, or be on the phone or be able to communicte with john in any manner, shit this sucks i cant go 3 days withought talking to him.. ill melt... oo im gana mail him tongiht yaaa i can do that to keeep me busy.. there ya go.
love *me
i think i might be falling to fast for this guy, maybe making the same mistake over again.. but another part of me say's diffrent.. me and tosh just smoked up and now were sitting here stoned watching some porn or some shit on t.v. haha andrew is an asshole i dont know what i saw in him.. even i talked to him tonight to see if he was still alive, and i told him about john and he screamed at me. i asked if he was mad, and he screamed "i dont fucking even care!" he never did really care about me, he just liked to get me drunk or take pills and id get all fucked up or pass out and he had his way with me at times, whitch scared me, and one time i was just telliing him how my day went and he's like "what do you want a fucking cookie or soemthing?" and i was like " cant i just tell you how my day went?"
well i guess i couldnt, and with john i can tell him anything and he actually understands me and listens to me. i ahve alot to think about
im praying that poppie is ok, i dont care about horse camp any more, i just want him to get better, images flash through my mind of the day he fell and the ambulance came, but one special ting came out of that day, 'john swept me off my feet and held me and whispered to me, i could have cried just for that, no one knows how much that ment to me and il will allways remmember that, damn im getting tired so im going to bed, i love you all.
your baby girl~ *Me
im happy and pist,pist becouse ppl are bein assholes, happy becouse i got to talk to my hunnie again today, he's diifrrent but i like that about him, he treats me sooo well i still cant believe it at times, it just takes my breath away, becouse i guess im used to guys treating me like shit, becouse in the past i was just used and i guess i didnt see that till it was over, but what do you do, learn from your mistakes and try to move on, and im happy that i have moved on becouse i found someone that truly cares, and i guess that what matters, its just .. i cant stand to be hurt badly again.. but im willing to take that risk. i love you babe.