It's ok to be different, our different ideas may actually lead us to a life changing decision.

I'm an outcast, amoung the "normal" people.

Bitter Emotions

I am not sure what is up or down
I digest each emotion and drown in silence
I say that I will be alright
The truth is I am filled with fright

Now as I embark on a journey to being a woman
I look back on each bitter omen
Each connection is more confusing then the last
Funny how most say that life goes fast

Feeling these emotions I wonder if I am even living
I have spent so many years giving
All I get in return is confusion about these puzzled
As I try to shift through the damage I am muzzled

it's funny how disasters tend to shape you. It forces you to see that not everything is black and white. Sometimes the line between wrong and right are blurried. Since the day we were created we have been given free will and it is all up to us how we spend that will. If you so desire you will find a way to live the dream but the road is far from easy. We also need to find great friends to help us through this journey. Disaster opens the eyes to what really matters.

Thank you
Dedicated to my cat Wignston

I just lost a dear friend
However now I know true love does not have to end
He always was there for me when I was sad
Somehow he manage to help not feel so bad

My orange and white cat that stuck by me
Even when he stared death in the eye to hide his misery
I understand that once we pass childhood then nothing is just black and white, he clears my point of view
All I have to say is Thank you

Disaster of the Heart

I hear it beating but I am affraid to feel
I know it is saying make the uncertain deal
I am trapped between logic and intuition
I have no idea how I got in this position

I feel emotions but have no idea if it is real
I kneel towards these crazy emotions I feel
I hear that you take life on by the horns
I know that I somehow landed in a valley full of thorns

I know the hour is getting closer to it reveals
I am scared of what I feel
I hear that time will go faster
I face my disaster of the heart

Come March

I will be 19
Come March
I will be in my spring semester in college
Come March
I have lost my innocent veiw of life
Come March
I will keep going despite what hits me
Come March
Until the day I die
Come March

Can anybody truly love me?

I try to keep hope in my heart
Depsite the times my world seems to fall apart
My honest ways seems to be in the wrong
I can only think of depressing broken love songs

My family and my dear friends seem to understand me
Even though I often fall on my weak knee
The blissful kind of love is only a dream
I have no idea what it could possibly mean

Maybe I can stand on my own
Maybe I can become as strong as stone
I don't want to have people's sympathy
I want to know, Can anybody truly love me?

My prayer and wish

I wish for the pain for the family lessen
I pray that their hearts will remeber but not stop
I wish they wouldn't find their mind messin
I pray their hearts will rise to the top

I wish for them to know love is everywhere to help them
I pray that jesus will shed the light on the ones hurt
I wish for their lives to not seem so grim
I pray that love will continue from within

Remebering that Innocent Child
Dedication to Tyler Evans


When he and his mother came up here, he seemed a little clumsy but oh so sweet
I just watch him from afar and we just happen to meet
His toothy smile and shy expression as he held tight to his mother
I don't think I'll meet any other

He didn't talk much unless his mom was there
I just give him a friendly stare
He loved cars and football like any other small boys
He liked cars that were just play toys

Only starting to speak words in a small way
In my heart he will stay
He had to leave us so soon
I'll remeber him in the morning and noon

My dream

Many people dream about being famous and being a part of a scene
Others want to be planners of some grand scheme
Some want to be nurses or doctors to heal
Some want to do business and make the deal

Others want to go to heaven and touch gods face
Some give up their dreams and want to disappear with out a trace
My dream is very small and a little unique
I want to teach and start a spark that will protect kids in
their sleep

I want for kids to reach for a speical star
I want them to know that you can get it no matter how near or far
An educator who can help kids see that the world doesn't have to be a bad world to live in
The teacher that starts that one spark to go for a swim

My Revolutionary Journey

It starts when you trip and fall down hard
No amount sympathy can be placed in a card
It seemed unfair at first to get a scar
The road looks really rocky and far

You manage to get up but the pain remains
Now you're faced with the choice of giving up or walking the rough terrain
You try to reason through your options to find out where it is best to go
It really is hard to truly see all the factors and to know

So you go with the hardest path which is to go through the rough terrain
The sun beating on your battered head and not a single drop of rain
You strain your eyes to get some kind of idea of where you are going
Life has a funny way on giving a grand showing


After falling, drowning, and just plain wanting to hide
You find some sort of shelther for you to reside
Then you find the path doesn't seem so bad
It actually one of the most meaningful adventures you had

Endless Silence

It doesn't matter how hard I try
I still can't seem to fly
Maybe I need to heal inside of my dreams
I don't have any reason really to lie

I do stay silent and keep everything to myself
At night I have little restful sleep or peace of mind
I just show everyone my kind side to keep others happy
I do sometimes get snappy but it is easily concealed by a simple smile
I spend a long while in silence;my only communicator

Rain

It's the one element that cleanse my scared heart
Even when I feel like my world is coming apart
It helps me deal with the numbing effect of the unforgiving blade
Many people don't see what a blessing rain is compared to the tart taste of reality

It's the one thing that offers an escape from the blistering sun
I sometimes need to hide from those who know they have won
I pretend everything is so binide in my life
I face the sting of knowing too much

I will miss it when the time has come for me to say goodbye
I will embrace life without making up a petti alibi
I will let go all of my strive and pain that I will carry
I only wish to feel and hear the small chime of my lovely rain

My Silent Reqium

I hide the pain that I feel deep inside
I pretend everything is so benide
I smile through the tears I've cried
I laugh through the exsasperating emotion I've sighed

I hide the pain that I feel deep inside
I walk through my hearts rough terrain
I talk through the bitter emotion of disdain
I refuse to sulk in misery

I hide the pain that I feel deep inside
I deal with the hurt of others and offer a helping hand
I seal the emotions that aren't helpful to my self or others
I try not to abuse my abilites
I fly on hurt wings offering care and comfort to those who seek it

I hide the pain I feel deep inside
I creep in the shadows of truth and peace
I sleep with a restless mind reeling memories
I face the meal of my silent requiem

Forgiveness

The one thing that's really hard to do is forgive
Sure you can hold respect but to actually let go and live is a hard lesson to grasp.

I’m the Worlds Fool

It’s funny how I tend to fall for small missions
Thinking it’s guided by divine intervention
I’ve learned the hard way nothing is binide
Thinking that I’m worth something

It’s funny how I can’t recall being successful in my goals
Knowing my heart is reaching out to unwilling souls
I’ve learned to slow the reeling of my torn heart
Knowing that the bitter tart taste will forever stay with me

It’s funny how I never saw a happy ending for me
Growing to accept that I’ll be shoved on my knee
I’ve learned that to be loved you have to bleed a lot
Growing to understand I will never gain what I have sought for

It’s really funny how I never get it stuck in my craw that I’m a useless tool
Showing that I believe my repetitious dreams is a strong straw
I’ve learned that my schemes are way old school
Showing that I’m nothing but the worlds fool 

Breath

It's interesting how we all fall over our own two feet
It's doesn't matter if there's a sheet of ice on the ground or if it's bone dry
Overwelming feelings makes one lose balance that we can't deny, not even the high spirited people can escape
The bad and negitive emotions tend to scrape across the purest of heart
Love can give you the jumpstart but it it's only the start
The art of making it is to just breath

A Bitter Wind

This girl young Mirna stands outside waiting for her best friend
Mirna had promised with her buddie that it wouldn't ever end
A cold wind blows around her and her dress gets muddy
Mirna's friend comes walking with a look of stress in her eyes
Mirna smiles while walking toward her but she just passes by her it was no lie
Mirna's smile disappears and lets out a confused sigh

At school they made it to class and Mirna still ponders on why she looked so cold
Mirna glances over at her dear friend trying to figure out the story left untold
Lunch came and Mirna could begin to deny that something isn't right
Mirna sets near her, suddenly feels a sliver of fright
Her friend's cold eyes shows that her fear has been brought to light
Mirna sought for some sign of warmth but saw none

After that bitter cold revelation and the agonizing bell ring for the last time for the day, the sun seems to mock Mirna
The mental walls begin to lock on the promise that is now shattered
Mirna now feels battered and bruised all the years they spend together now mean nothing
That day was when Mirna first felt the gust of a bitter wind

All you

Trying to reach for the dream you see every night.
It's a combination of fright and fight within you.
Tears of shame are shed and you easily find fear to drown in.
However you always keep the ones you hold so dear close to help you get up.
Only you can decide what you mold into.
It's a vortex of light and dark what will be or not in the scarlet hue.
Ultimately the outcome is all up to you.

My Quote: To love is to hate, To hate is to love, To shout is to be silent, To be silent is to shout, To hurt is to be healed, To be healed is to hurt, To be joyful is to be sad, to be sad is to be joyful. Life is nothing but a dream, to dream is to live in a reality, Reality is a dream.