Angst = teh suxor. Im back in Lincoln; I am not going back to KC, with or without parental help. -_- Well, I gotta pull my grade up this semester, no question. I gotta work my tail off; I know I can do that. Heh, I got four offers from friends to stay in their place until things cool down or I start getting in-state tuition. Thank God for friends like them. 

Anyway, I'm gonna make it, one way or another. End of story. But I don't want to inhibit my friends; I'm gonna regain my scholarship.

Why? Why can't I stay here? Why must I be so stupid that I can't pass my goddamn classes? I don't want to leave! I want to stay here! I don't want to leave this place...I want to stay here...but I can't.

I failed my Theory final.

I have to go back to kansas city.

Bah, nobody reads this damn thing.

Since that is the case, I will write something offensive. Or at least the reason I am going to hell according to Jack Chick.

"I am a bisexual catholic who plays dungeons and dragons with wickens on Halloween night."

...And it's true!!!

In other news, I think I might...nevermind. I would just get myself in deep shit if I said that. Anyway, Ima head out. Got lotsa HW to do.

"We always knew it was going to end like this. Even back then, we knew that this was how it would end."

"Yeah, I know."

"So why did you come along?"

"You are the kid I can closely relate to on this whacked out squad. Kinda like how I used to be."

"Before you went to hell?"

"Yeah. Before."

"You know I may die here."

"Nonsense. I'm gonna be the one who takes the honor of destroying you. I honsetly don't think anyone else can!"

"Heh. I wish I could believe that you are just joking. Too bad I told her that she needed to be the one to kill me."

"Oh. That girl?"

"Yeah. Her. If I go crazy again, I want to die by her blade. I want her to pierce my heart; I want to die in her arms. I told her that was what I wanted."

"You care for every one of those soldiers, don't you, Leon?"

"I could never wish harm upon them. Every one has a story, a life behind them. I only wish that they all had a life ahead of them too. But many will die today."

"Are you worried about her?"

"Hah! She can take care of herself! She is scary when she gets mad!"

"Are you worried about her?"

"Are you kidding? She could whip up on either of us no problem!"

"Are you worried about her?"

"...yes."

"You don't have to do this. I can go alone."

"I care for every one of my soldiers. That includes you. I can't be selfish. Don't you have a child on the way?"

"I would not be a good father to that child."

"That child needs you, and so does your girl. She shouldn't even be fighting, three months pregnant, but you know what? She is because she believes in what we are doing. We can manage."

"Yeah, if those two are together, then there is no stopping them! The deathglares alone would make me wet myself."

"Says the man...er...deamon who's been to hell and back."

"Damn straight."

"Michael?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"If I dont make it, you make sure she winds up happy."

"Yes sir."

"One more question?"

"Yeah?"

"You remember when we went to Madagascar? And we were really drunk?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Why did you decide to strap me to the crow's nest?"

"Me and Sage thought it would be funny."

"Yeah. It was pretty funny, wasn't it?"

So what to say. I like swords. I am bored, yet overworked. I never have enough time. I am always rushing to do something, and everything I can do is mediocre. Yeah. Anyway...

I have been highly depressed recently. Dunno why. I can tell you I have been bitching about being alone...not something I am used to. My droughts between girlfriends have always been slim, and anytime that they were not, it was of my own choosing. I suppose that right now, I am choosing to be this way, although that could easily change. As for anything else...well, I have plenty of friends, but once again, I dont have time to SEE them. Therin lies the problem. 

So anyway, I have just rambled a bit too much here, so I'ma gonna go.

I hate my dependance on others' affection.

Bai

I should be taking this a lot harder than I am.

Ah...so here it ends. I sit here eating lukewarm ramen cause my dumbass roomate stole the microwave without tellin' me.

Yeah, Im single again.

Yeah, Im angsty again.

And I totally want attention right now.

Heh...anyone care to indulge me?

Feed my addictions? 

I feel badly for Sana. She kinda got screwed. Okay majorly got screwed. And what a crappy time. Senior year rolled around for me and I had all my scholarships and applications taken care of. All I was deciding on was a Navy ROTC scholarship and whether it was worth selling my soul to the US Gvnt to go through college. So now she's in a tough spot. Aside from getting jerked around by her exboyfriend, she also has the next four years of her life to plan in the next six months (or so). Ill give her a hand as best i can...but it's gonna be a bit of a sprint.

In other news, I am sick of butting in. Asking if I want to talk is cool, but "Squall we need to talk NOW" is something else entirely. 

And Im done. Goodnight to all two of you who read this.

Hiatus

Blargh...Im sick, and Im bitchy. Stay away.

Kon = win

Wow. I just realized something. I was visiting random peoples elftown "houses" and realized that bisexual/bicurious people outnumber both gays and straights by a LONGshot. How odd.

Anyway, Im tired. Just got done with hell...er...marching band, and I got to bed late cause of NebrasKon stuff...again. Oh well, five hours of sleep is workable, unlike the three I have been getting. *ugh*

Anyway, On to work on more Kon stuff. Kon. The whole thing is starting to just kill me. My state of mind right now is apathy cause I cant think about anything else. Told one of the tubas in band to f**k off because I was being bitchy. So was she, but still, I should feel bad about it. I might in a week and a half when this damn thing is over with.

Later.
~Squall

Nowhere left for us to run
No more light shed from the sun
No light blessed from the moon,
I fear eternal night comes soon.

I cannot breathe right with you.
What have I done? What will we do?
You did not wrong, why must it be
That I pull away from thee?

Are we through? Done and free?
Will you hate or cling to me?
My pen runs short, let me say
I'll think about you everyday.

If only for a while you
were my world, and my truth.
Thank you for everything you are.
Goodbye to you, my shining star.

so much saddness, all around. Lotsa young love getting shot up. That really is horrible...young love is the most annoying, stupid, and yet, most wonderful thing that makes you weak at the knees.

If the kon doesnt kill me, i might just die anyway.

Today sucked. This close to giving up.

Well, Becky's job interview went quite well. Looks like she will be making 70,000 a year at exxon mobile. Go Becky! ^_^

Yeah...it's in texas though. I am afraid that we are going to be losing our president come december.

...

Well, Ima gonna head to KC for the Ren-fest this upcoming weekend. I am taking becky, Seth, Hopefully Tony and Lathan also. Want to come with, Anyone? My parents will let us crash at my house. 

Well, seeing as Sana is the only one who reads this and she wasnt at club last week for me to ask, (stupid band) Me and Becky wanna know if you wanna head to KC with us and some Anime Club geeks to go to the reniassance (i know its misspelled) festival. Prolly go downtown to the haunted houses while we're there. Interested?

~Squall

Well hello! My name is Squall. I dont know who is gonna read this other than sana, but hello peoplz!

I like swords!