I've found out what kind of girl I am.... aaaaaaahhh and I figured it all out (finally)
I conclude that I am a girl of true romance. I want to feel special and appreciated at every moment. I want to know that "the guy" recognizes me as his angel (oh man do I so love that). I simply want romance. Sweet talks. Meaningful phrases. Isn't that weird? I think it is but it's so romantic... especially walks in the rain... and bubble fights and all that cute stuff!
Every single day is just a phase people and everyone should understand that!!!
I'm planning on getting over one of my greatest fears -- sharks. I'm thinking about maybe going on a hunting-shark kinda thing and then baking them and eating them! In a few years first, I wouldn't want to harpoon a shark and still have it bite me and kill me, gaaaaaaaah!
But maybe I will when I'm like 16 or 18 or something!!!
OOOOOOOOH AND I FORGOT!!!!! Oh wait I forgot again... too bad!
I GOT A BOOK! It's called "The truth of your name" it's pretty cool....gaaaaa
Oh! I went to Hastings with [Amara] today and we got Chobits volume 1!!!! AHHHHH WE'RE DYING FOR THE SECOND VOLUME MAN!!!!!!!!
The sad thing is, is that I can't buy the second volume until I get my Windows XP and upgrade my computer, then buy the modem for it (I had ordered Win XP yay!), and THEN I gotta get a mic so that I can make sound effects for presentations and all (and to just mess around in the Internet ~>=P), and I also wanna get a scanner...
PROBLEM IS, is that I don't get any allowance! Well at least not yet (And I still clean house)... (but it's just impulse no one tells me to).
Hopefully Kayla'll buy it cuz she gots dough (lucky... she can babysit, MY mother doesn't trust me with kids, since I insist on acting like one myself... HEY I CAN BE RESPONSIBLE!)
So anyway...
Future goals, in order:
Get Windows XP and upgrade computer
Get money (Maybe I'll sell stuff off Ebay or something LOL)
Buy modem (damnit, why can't the old one fit!?)
Buy Microphone
Buy Scanner (if possible)
Perhaps by Photoshop (or just get it from ATM (or in ay other case, Dad))
And FINALLY get more money
And buy rest of Volumes for Chobits! (If Kayla has not already reached that goal)
WHEEE A PLAN! Wow I feel useful.
Life can go so terribly wrong... horrid isn't it?
This is sort of a past thing here. And a present. Kayla (Or Amara), I'm sorry about your grandfather, that he is passing before your eyes. I wish so much that I could comfort you, but I don't see anyway how. We all must mourn and hope that he passes onto the next test of humanity peacefully. I hope that after your grandfather passes that it will bring some joy to the family that his pain has ended and that you will all soon see him again (but not too soon!).
To the past people. All who had died from AIDS, STD'S, accidents of various machines. To those who passed on with only one breath, to those who never had the chance to see a sunrise... to my brother how I miss you so very much without even knowing you, yet knowing that you and I would be so much alike. To my sister, who always bothers me and makes me curse wretched things, I'm sorry that you were hit by a ton of metal and that your whole life and personality was altered (we all know you were more polite before... >=P).
To Gordy, you made such an impact on this world, bringing joy and happiness and nothing less. You had the biggest funeral I had ever been to, and I hope that your son Curtis Skyler will take after you and will always remember what kind of person you were.
To my grandpa Marlo, I never really knew you, but the way I cried the day I heard you left the ground made me aware that you will always have a small cupboard space in my heart.
To the children I never met, who must pass everyday with pain and heartbreak, only to pass to the next "life" in an arduous fashion.
To all the people who were brutally murdered from loved ones they had, or from people they had never knew existed.
To all the people who know they will die, and know that time is soon. May you all be bright and happy when that time comes, and may you send us all a postcard of what it's like.
To philosophers, physicists, actors, actresses, directors, engineerers, astronauts, and the people who get no credit for their work in the world, may you all stay safe and happy.
To the people of the future, who will take one breath and perish within their mother's arms, before their father's eyes.
To the people of the future, who will gain a sickness and never recover, blinking one last time before a great flood or relief leaves you and everything is fine.
To those who gave to this world and thought of others before them, never causing pain to even a flower bud but instead helped them grow may you live a life full of adventure and books and leave this world before anything hits.
To those who don't give to the world, either because they can't or they chose not to, may you still have a great and happy life. May you at least look into someone's eyes and wish them luck before they pass.
And to those who must sit and watch all these things that pass and happen, and hope that your turn will never come. May you feel the enlightment to know that someone had gone and will see you in a better time, a better way. May you also live happily ever after.
This is for the people. Because we are what ruin an create.
Say sorry to someone you dislike, say hello to a family member you've never met, forgive but don't forget. Share your stories at tea time to smooth the edges.
No one can run away from death. Death can only run away from you.
While I'm sitting in class, reading a book, or supposedly leaving it open and acting like I'm reading it, thoughts all pass through my head.
The thoughts are mostly of my life, and mostly of life itself.
I wonder about people most of all, and about the world in which people can write within the pages of books. I wonder how people can be so cruel, and yet still have a soft spot for puppies or their favorite person.
And I wonder about the nice people, how sometimes they can be so cruel as to turn their backs on you and talk about you so meanly. I wonder why people act the way they do, and why they're all different. I wonder this because I am human, yet not human. I at least feel like I'm out of the world, as if I'm something besides what people want. It's like I'm something that people can push away, after hugging me so very close that I could smell the foamy, soft smell of their clothing and flesh.
Love... I wonder most about love. It's only a human reaction, it's just an emotion right? Love... love is but a dream. As the great Edgar Allan Poe wrote in such a beautifully dark and wonderful poem, "All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream." Beautiful and deep, those two lines... what they mean... in my own wonder... is that we may be looking at a rainbow, but on the inside, if you break it up, it's nothing but pieces of white, of things that you can't see. Rainbows are only dreams, as is love.
You can't see love, but you can feel it. You can't taste love, though it may give you a feeling of fullness and completeness and leaves the taste of berries on your tongue. You can't hear it, but your lover can say those three little words that people all beg to hear every day of their lives.
YAYAYAYAYAY! I GOT 100% ON AN IN CLASS ESSAY!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!! And then my science teacher pulled me from the class to tell me how much she enjoyed reading my science essay! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA
:: sprawls out on the couch... ::
bored bored bored bored
:: Watches tv upside down ::
:: pokes SAMMI!!! :: MWHAHAHAHAHA!!
I HAVE TAKEN OVER SPOKANE AND IT IS NOW 1 ALMOST 2 AM ON FRIDAY!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! AND I DUN HAVE TO DO P.E. WHEEEE!!! MWHAHAHAHA [Dr.No] did my new little piccie AND THE ELFTOWN THINGY ISN'T HE COOL?!??!?!?!?
Uuuuuuuh... HI EVERYONE!!!! I THINK I'M GOING TO GO MAKE EVERYONE BUY ME ICE CREAM IN SPOKANE AND THEN MAKE ME SHARE IT! YAYAYAYAYAYYAY
COWBOY BEPOP HAS THE BEST ENTERY EVVVVVEEEEERRR
YAYAYAYAYAYAYA
YAYAYAYAYAYAY! HAPPY DAY! Went through depression... still dunno what these diary thingys are for but.. I'M GONNA PUT STUFF IN IT ANYWAY! MWHAHAHAHA! Anyway...
After about two days doen in the dumps I've bounced back! YAY! And uhm... er... I got an assignment in class and got the second best score in the class!! 93, though my friend got a 97. BUT, the teacher said that mine was a very creative story! Cuz it wasn't like everyone elses. I AM "special." LOL
I finally got myself a picture of me thanks to [Amara]!!! She's in it too!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! And look at my poll! Please.
I broke... a nail... : goes pale and faints :
Wheee!! I scored 90% on my math test and 100% PLUS extra credit in Life Skills!! (Home ec) SO AWESOME!! Hahahaha... :: wonders about little diary thingy... ::