I don't really know what to say to any of you... But really, I always knew that no one was perfect. But today... it sort of just panged on me, that no one is really perfect. I mean... you could be pretty, and smart, and sweet... but there's always that fault. Like being self-conscious
I know that I'm not perfect, and, in truth, I don't want to be either. And I don't want to meet anyone who is perfect, because, as Mitul put very well, it's the faults in a person that makes them interesting. It's the fact that we all don't agree with each other that gets us talking. Plus, what is perfect anyway? There's always that perfect someone, they are so perfect to you that it's unbelievable, and you seem so perfect to them in the same loving way. But to other people, you both may seem like oddballs... to me, that's all right, and I accept it.
But, as I said, I don't really know what to say to any of you. We all have our faults. Instead of mocking them and wishing them away, we should be thankful we even have them because those are the things that keep us interesting to other people.
So really... everyone is beautiful in their own way. Whether it be on the inside or the out. I know and wish that I, and everyone else, were perfect on both sides. And in a way... we all are.
Ehhh... I was sick for four days... and I have so much schoolwork that I feel totally horrible about it... I just can't find any time to work on it... I'm trying really hard, and I hope that my teachers can see that. I'm not slacking like my mother may think I am. Mainly I'm using my computer time fr research *but me just can't stay away from Elftown either* for this Career Unit thing... I'm so far behind in that class it's not even funny. Well, if anyone has written and published any books, contact me :P
I don't UNDERSTAND IT!!! Why is it when I tell people I'm agnostic, they go all out of their way to tell me that God loves me, that all I have to do is freaking SACRAFICE MYSELF TO HIM?!?!?!?! I WON'T, I've ALREADY dealt with ENOUGH pain for all the people in the world, WHY CAN'T THEY JUST EXCEPT THAT FACT THAT I, EMILY LYNN MCDURMAN, DOES NOT BELIEVE IN GOD!?!?!?!?!?!
EVERYONE is different, and NO ONE can turn me to the face of God again, he turned his back and I've turned mine!! I go by scientific facts. I don't believe that God made the world. Because then who created God? God couldn't have created himself, he has to have parents. Otherwise our reproduction system would be different and we'd have people making themselves all over the place!
And if God DID exist, then why, if suddenly he shows himself to Adam and Eve, but as time goes by, won't let anyone else see him, and totally loses contact?? WHO EVEN WROTE THE BIBLE FOR GOODNESS SAKES?? Men who came in contact with God? Well, if that's so, why aren't people continuing to write the bible? Why, why, why, why, why? I want answers based on fact, not religious myths!!
I agree though, that the bible holds some truth to the world we live in. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I've accepted him as my savior. WHY CAN';T THOSE PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE??
Give God your mind, body, and soul, give him your faith and your love... that's what they say. Well, I'm sorry for being so stubborn, but my mind, body, faith, love, and soul only goes to my "one and only" and to no one else. And I'll spend eternity in Heaven or Hell waiting for that person. Because in fate, we shall meet.
No, really. If you comment, I'll love you forever. *Oh My God, my mom gave me that line to cut my hair O_o she still hates me -_-*
Okay... I'm like not getting enough traffic on my Elfwood page to satisfy my desires and fill my tummy. Please comment... it's worth your time *looks at oo wiv big bloo eyes and one vewy big bloo teaw*
http://elfwood
I love you.
Okay, so my laptop got a virus and the cirus ate everythng and now I hate it so let it die and it was a bad laptop to begin with and I hate laptops sooooo much cuz they can like give you third degree burns man. And so now I have this other computer, but it has a chari and the right coloring so I like it and I can see all these awesome Kenshin pictures cuz I love, love, love Kenshin, and of course you know when you watch too much Kenshin when suddenly you find yourself attacking people with a stick like a sword and screaming as you come tumbling down on them: HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI!!!!!
But... yeah okay NEVER MIND.
HIII KATIE WENT TO THE CONCERT BUT TOOK SOME GUY INSTEAD OF ME!!! SHE;S SUCH A BIIITCH!! BYYYEEE!!
My compy brokeded :(
I'll write what I can when I get my Internet back.... O_o
So like... Here's a message I got:
From: [Vladmir Hajduski] (strategic)
To: Emily (ThoseLittleThi
Sent: 2003-04-06 19:22:38
Comment in 409849
Yes you do look weird.It looks like you beat Jordan up and then smiled for the camera.
Pretty interesting, huh? Well, seems as if [Vladmir Hajduski] has a little crush on [NOOOPE] as A.V so warily told me. And A.V doesn't like me because she thinks I'm someone else. Which I'm not. Sarah made a new account A.V, [Naomi] is her username, just thought you'd like to know.
Anyway, [Vladmir Hajduski] thinks he's making me angry... which he's not. He's only making me laugh.
Not to mention he's also going around making people feel bad about themselves. I don't get that... is it just me... or is his ego too big and his equipment too small?
So anyway, he's always making fun of my friends on Elftown, which I don't like or appreciate. I truly don't give a crap what he says about me, because I know that he just doesn't like me. Which is most utterly rude. So... hide your tracks Vladmir, I would if I were you.
Because I feel very sorry for whatever crawled up your ass and died.
Debate went fine.
Today sucked.
At school, some girl gave Harrison Norwood *this totally mean and ... ugh rude guy* head in the bathroom which is really gross, and all that caused a fight between two people, and then they fought and then people standing around cheered and stuff. But unfortunately that meant that the lesson the school had planned for the kids with no inferalls (no bad marks or anything), had to be cancelled. So none of my classes were cut short thanks to those idiots.
And then I came home and Katie was on the computer when it was my time but I could deal with that so I gave her a couple of hours. Then when my turn came and I asked her for her headphones she said no, I asked why and she said something that offended me so I started to chase her and she locked herself in the bathroom where I couldn't beat the shit out of her.
It went a little like this:
Emily: *bashing on the door* JUST LET ME HAVE THE HEADPHONES!
Katie: No!
Emily: WHY NOT!?!?!?!?
Katie: BECAUSE!
Emily: *BASH BASH BASH* JUST GIVE ME THE DANG HEADPHONES!!
~And it kinda went on like this for awhile until...~
Emily: STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH KATIE! *from my mouth I was a little stunned myself*
Katie: ...
Emily: *starts walking away to call Mom* *calls Mom. Grabs other headphones*
Katie: *mumbles something Emily hardly hears as Emily walks off*
Emily: Oh FUCK OFF!
Yep.
Bored bored bored bored bored... Gah WHO READS THIS STUFF??? Hmm... I have to go to debate yesterday and tomorrow is Brent's birthday and I feel really lonely right now.... really, really lonely... :( I miss my pookie... :(
My nose is bleeding... it's lightened up in the last twenty minutes but my mom wants to kee my home! But I want to go to school!!!!!! :'(
Oh yay! Guess who Katie decided to take to Linkin Park? Me... I was really, really, really surprised but for some reason Katie has been a lot nicer to me, so now we're not on as bad as "terms" with each other anymore.
But to better things...
Math is odd for me, last week we had a bunch of tests and I didn;t do so well even though I know the material! But oh well, I will do better next time!
And ... erm... debate team is really getting better! I'm a little more interested now, and since I get to start missing fifth (P.E.) and a bunch of days... mwhahahah! THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE! ...just give me a few hours...
What else is there?!?!? OH MY GOSH... LIKE NOTHING! CEPT FOR THE NEW LINKIN PARK CD CAME OUT AND I AM OBSESSED ABOUT THEM AGAIN!!!!! AND I HAD WHIPPED CREAM FOR LUNCH SO I AM HYPER AND SOOOOOOOONNN ENOUGH I WILL BE AT HOME TAKING A NAP WHILE ON ELFTOWN TALKING TO MY DAD AND PLANNING MY SUMMER VACATION AND I JUST CAN'T WAIT MAN!
Okay, now I am going to just go around and ask people for stupid relations like I normally do, I'll see you all later!
False alarms and truths...
Katie got her Linkin Park tickets. First balcony, second row. Right by the stage.
WHOOO!! I AM STILL REALLY HAPPY!! WHAT A GRETA DAY EVEN THOUGH IT'S GRAY LIKE MY EYES AND MY... well my pants and coat. Lol.
ANYWAY! I AMMMM SOOOO happy whenever I listen to techo of any kind! Mostly Happy Hardcore though... WHOOOOOOO!!! I got nothing to say really cept for my dream was sooooo weird tonight! I NEED A DIARY TO WRITE THIS STUFF IN! A PRIVATE ONE!
Whoo!! I dunno what to put here... oh my God!!!
So I'm on the Mock Debate team and I have to take lots and lots of notes and stuff and I'm really busy with that and then we have the yearbook deadline coming up, and then there's Science which... GAAAAH is killing me! And then there's.... erm... well all that homework and stuff, but because of the debate thing I get to miss a whole essay that I get full credit for anyway!!
And then once the debate team stops I'm going to be (*hopefully*) one of the editors for the literale magazine!!!!! BUT IT'S NOT FAIR because Remelisa and I volunteered to do it before the teacher even FINISHED talking about it, but when she said "If you get on the team I"ll give you a gift." THEN LIKE HALF THE CLASS RAISED THEIR HANDS THE LITTLE... GRRR IT MAKES ME TO ANGRY!!!! I'm definitely going to talk to the teacher about it.
Anyway...
Finally I talked Mom out of getting Katie those LP tickets so now neither one of us is going...
Anyway... to better things...
I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!!!!!! ^__________^ AND I UPLOADED A NEW PICTURE TOOO!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOM
It's in black and white because it's a picture that I uploaded from school, which is a picture that's going to be put in the yearbook. In the yearbook staff thingy... they only took that picture because they needed to get rid of the room!!!!!!
I know my eyebrows look so weird and I am so sorry -- but my eyebrows really don't look like that O_o and my hair is a mess, I remember coming into the class and getting ready cuz I was late and it was windy and rainy and stuff and they were like, "Emily, come take this picture with Jordan!!!" So I did it, I apologize for the ugliness too ^_^ I'm not much to look at...
BUT ISN'T JORDAN SO PRETTY?!?!?! She has to prettiest smile doesn't she?? ^_^ And she sooooooooo nice!!!!!! And she's funny! And smart ^_^ she's soo awesome!!!
I love her "I <3 nerds shirt" ;)
So... that's kinda me. In a way. I actually kind of like that picture, just the way it's posed. Sorry that I'm not smiling much, I was just so tired and Jordan's smile just drowns me out anyway ^_^ I loooove that shirt though!! The one I was wearing. It's really soft and fuzzy, and it was baby blue and it really made my eyes turn grayish blueish greenish lol. I was thinking about making it back to color and just put my eyes up but I decided not to...
My sorries go to Gray Ghost whose picture had to be taken down in order to put that up. I am so sorry :(
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY EVERYONE!
Was happy when I got home... but then Mom made me look for tickets to LP.
For Katie.
The ONE concert I would give ANYTHING for... and she won't take me... Katie doesn't even like Linkin Park!
Soo weird... I'm actually happy this morning! I usually am in the morning but this is like a renewing freshny happiness... I hope that it'll actually last today.
So I talked with my mom about my highschool classes, and we sat down with my 44 page booklet based on the activites the school has to offer and we've mainly chosen every class from my Freshman year to my Senior year.
And since I am bored and happy, I think I will explain...
Only remember that these may change as I grow ^.^
For ever year... there are certain classes that you have to take, and then there are your electives, or, classes that YOU get to pick.
So in Freshman's year, English, Science, Math, Global Issues, plus P.E./Health is required, and that leaves me with an extra class for two semesters, which is two classes. So I chose creative writing for 1st semester and Debate 1 class for second!
In my Sophmore year, I only have to only take English, P.E., Math, and Science so that leaves with me a total of FOUR classes a year. I chose Accounting 1 and Leadership for my first semester, and for second semester I chose English 10B/Reading (just a general reading class and a awy of learning to take better notes and stuff), and Advanced Leadership.
For my Junior year, I only have to take English and American Studes 11A. That leaves me with a total of eight electives for the whole year. For first semester I chose, Vocabulary, World Languages - Spanish (because most four year colleges require two years of languages), Legal Studies (which comes in VERY handy in college), and Introduction to Philosophy... <3 for second semester, I chose Advanced Creative Writing, World Languages - Spanish, Project Ferris (Ferris is the high school name and this class is about spotting prejudice people, stereotypes, etc. and helping them and also learning how to speak in public and handle such things, mainly it's debate, leadership pulled together), and Student Library Aide.
In my senior year, I only have to take English and Economics/CWA and my electives for first semester are Psychology, Sociology, World Languages - Either German or second step in Spanish. And a math class. And for second semester I might take two math classes (if possible), World Languages, either German or third step in Spanish, and then something else. I'm not sure....
There! My whoooole high school year mainly planned out. I might change things though, I dunno...
So I was lying on the couch minding my own business, listening to Linkin Park (like my FAVORITE band), when Kathryn (my older sister who will be 15 on March 23rd), came up and asked to borrow my L.P. cd. I said sure, since I had to do homework anyway....
So after I was done with homework I laid down on the couch, hearing Kathryn blaring L.P. downstairs.
But to explain, Kathryn doesn't even like Linkin Park, she even told me so. She only likes *one* song on that cd and that's number 8, In the End. She only listens to it cuz her friends do!
So, again, I was just lying there when Mom comes over and says, "How much do you think Linkin Park tickets are?" I was immediately intrigued.
"Are they coming to Spokane!?"
"Yeah, on April 23rd."
Oh my God! She's going to take me to a concert for my birthday! since my birthday is June 19th.
"I'm not sure, depends on where you want the seats. Why?"
"Oh... I was thinking about taking Katie and her friends to the concert for her birthday."
Month of March... getting more and more depressed and busy with school.
Some good news is that I am one of the chosen few eighth grade students who get to do this constitution debate thing.... we get asked a central contitution question and have four minutes to answer. It's gonna take a lot of my time up!
And then we have a yearbook deadline which is March 24th -- that deadline is FOR THE WHOLE YEARBOOK, so my group has to work *very* hard. But we can do it.
So anyway... in yearbook I was one of two students who got an award for leadership and whatnot. Wow.
And the reason why I am so depressed it because it's March and my sisters birthday is coming up. I hate Katie's birthday... I won't say why.
Wish me luck on my busy schedule.
Me love talkin to my Devvie-Wevvie!