Why can't my mom just accept the fact that... I DON'T LIKE MAKEUP?!!??!?!?

So I'm standing in the bathroom, brushing out my hair...
when MOm brings up this whole thing about my hair being greasy and that I need to wash it. Oh yeah right, like I care.
"Why don't you put a little makeup on?"
"Why??"
"Because it's a formal wedding!!"
"I don't want to, I hate makeup, you know that!"
And then I walked off, "OH DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!"
Funny... because I really don't give a shit what I look like.

I stole this from [Stargirl] cuz I really, really, really, wanted to. Lol...
001: Name: Emily Lynn McDurman
002: Nickname: No nickname, but people tend to call me "Em" or "Emy" and I really hate it and I'll pound anyone's butt who calls me that. INCLUDING ADULTS!
003: Country of living: U.S.A. and I guess I'm proud. I don't really care though. America is full of jacka$$es anyway. But then again, so is the other countries :P
004: Birthdate: June 19th, 1989. REMEMBER, MY BIRTHDAY'S IN ONE MONTH FROM MONDAY!
005: Length: Length of my body, right? I'm 5'2". I know, stop snickering, I'm aware that I'm short!
006:Eye color: *sigh* Well, they're blue. And green. And gray. And they have a yellow ring that shoots out like a spider web around the pupil. And I have a dark blue line around the iris. And then it's like I got yellow and green veins running from the iris to the pupil... looks pretty cool :P
007: Shoesize: 6 to 6 1/2
008: School/work: 8th grade at Chase Middle School. IN 18 IT'LL BE 9TH GRADE AT FERRIS HIGH SCHOOL, WHOOOO!!!
009: You smoke: Never!!!! Bad for your health and your teeth and breath and it's just a big ick. I wouldn't date anyone who smoked. I hate the smell. Makes it hard to breathe right.
010: Hobby's: Lots... reading and writing, computer, Internet, Kenshin, anime, music, music, music, reading...
011: Brothers/Sisters: 1 older sister who was hit by a truck, and I had an older brother, but he passed away... :( I never knew him though... he would've been like 14 years older than me.
012: Relationship: I don't exactly have one now, and probably won't for a long time... guys don't tend to bother taking a second look at me :) But that's okay, cuz they're all a bunch of jerks in Spokane anyway.
013: Piercing(s): My ears. I won't go farther than that.
014: Tattoo: I will eventually get one. Most likely a tiger eye on the right side of my hip. Something little, though slightly attractive *but I wouldn't show it to anyone but my husband :P*
015: Fave Country to go to: I haven't been out of America... yet. Well, I've been to Canada and Mexico...
016: Are there people you wont reply to?: Yep. Do you want me to name him? Cuz I can. And there's a girl too.
017: Nicest person you met this year: [Mr.Mystery], [Xithia], [Amara] (but I've known her for awhile :P) [True, plain and simple] , [Stargirl] (you wouldn't believe how nice she is!!!), [Nighthawk], [AngelSsorrows], [grayghost], [Dr.No], [Avatar], And then his one person... I dunno how to spell his name... :S, and mainly everyone on my friends list... :P
018: Person you rather not have met this year: [A.V], [Vladmir Hadjuski] because they gang up on me and my friend. Well, Vladmir does anyway. His messages are never nice. And of course [fackdi300] because she just likes to start trouble up with that fowl language of hers.
019: Who would you like to meet: People from Elftown :)
020: Who do you admire most: People who have strong religious beliefs, and those who can really stand up for what they believe in.
021: Most sexy person(s): Hmm... I'm not bi/girl-gay, so just cuz there's no girls on this list doesn't mean anything bad to ya :P: [Mr.Mystery], [True, plain and simple] , and... uhhhm... Who am I trying to think of?
022: Favorite Pyama: PAJAMAS??? Any of them! I love ALLL my pajama's!!! Baggy pants and a white t-shirts, the best! Or Scooby-Doo boxers... Scooby rocks ^^
023: Favorite Car: I like Pontiacs. And BMW Roadsters.
024: Light or Dark: Dark in a light way.
026: Favorite City(s): Swansea, Massachusetts. My Grandmother Evelyn lives there in the best neighborhood, filled with tons of really nice elders :) And the gardens are marvelous!
027: Favorite Plush: I have a lot of those for some reason...
028: Favorite Perfume/au de toilette/aftershave: I wear Tommy Girl. It smells really good. But I like this stuff my mom used to wear... and I REALLY like the stuff my dad wears... hmm... I dunno ^^
029: Favoriete Magazine: I don't read magazines.
030: Favorite sound: Em 7th chord on a guitar. Echo is and make it soft... sounds so heavenly. To me.
031: Favorite TV-series: Rurouni Kenshin!
032: Favorite Writer: I don't have one.
033: Religion: Agnostic but if I wanted one, I would choose wiccan. But I don't think I'll everhave enough time to practice :(
034: What is on your mousepad: My mouse.
035: What all is under your bed: Old papers, old projects, old games, carpet, some hands and feet...
036: Favorite color/s: Lavender!
037: Favorite Song ever: I don't know... there are so many great, great songs. I guess... something by the Four Seasons.
038: Favorite song at this moment: Heart of Sword, Asakura.
039: Favorite food: Anything seafood!
040: Favorite class in school: English, Social Studies, and I gotta admit, I kinda do like P.E.
041: Favorite drink: Lemonade and Orange Juice!
042: Lucky number: 7 (O.o wow [Stargirl] that's my lucky number too ^^) My locker number is 7! And so far it's only jammed on me once!
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: I think... Well, the thing that I like best about me is my determination and my will to stand up and fight for what I believe in and what I want. My pang for waking up in the morning and standing up for my friends if they want something but can't have it. I'd do anything for my friends :)
044: What deodorant do you use: Well, I use this Suave stuff my dad uses... Don't ask :P It works okay? It even lasts through the night after a full day of school, and a shower. I smell great, okay!? That's what counts! lol...
045: Favorite shoes: Sandals. Not flip-flops.
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: Whenever I feel like it. Usually around 10 or so.
047: What word do you use most: Obviously :P
048: Most romantic moment in your life: Haven't really had one in real life yet :) But I guess it's when I played "Marry me" when I was a kid. Lol...
049: Most embarassing moment in your life: I have a lot. But I'll tell you this one: In sixth grade while we were taking a test, I had finished and so had my "friend" *she turned out to be a back slasher* and then she started talking to me, and I ended up plugging my eyes and shaking my head while chanting "I'm not listening... I'm not listening!"... That was really embarrassing. I did a lot of embarrassing stuff in sixth grade... I was so stupid XD
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: I spend my time inside when it's cold. But I looove going outside when it's warm.
051: What do you do in the weekends: Lazy around and procrastinate.
052: What class on school do/did you dislike most: I don't really like math. But I really hate my journalism class.
053: Your Breakfast: Eggs!
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: Horseradish... and chicken fried steak, YEUCK!
055: Pets: 1 sister, and 1 pit bull dog (he's bloodthirsty, but sweet. Too sweet... if ya catch my drift here.)
057: Serious or funny: Seriously funny is the best.
058: Fast or slow: Fast! Zoom!!!
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: I would prefer to have a relation, because I really love cuddling and being romantic :)
060: Simple or complicated?: Simply complicated. Sounds like me.
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: Buried... I want life to be able to fester on my insides and keep growing! But I have to be dead.
062:Life or death: I'm not sure... I think I'm going to Hell when I die. If it exists. Because I don't believe in God. But I believe in Jesus and I have to excepted him as my savior. But so far how my life is going, I'd have to say death :P
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: On weekends... STAY UP LATE BABY! On weekdays? STAY UP NOT-SO-LATE BABY!
64: Light or dark?: Look up -_-
065: Speak or Silence: Speak when the silence starts to kill. Silence whenever in any emotional moment that requires lots of thought.
066: Tall or small man/woman: A tall man.
067: Newspaper: I read it. Yeah.
068: Hug or kiss: I hate hugs hershey's, it's gross. I perfer kisses. Oh... wait, you mean on a person? Well, I wouldn't kiss someone who I didn't like, so hugs and kisses. Hugs are very important :)
069: Happy or Sad: Happay!
071: Gig or Disco: They call me Disco Baby.
072: Left or Right: If I had to go through a choice like that, I'd keep walking straight.
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: Side...?
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: I'm actually all of those colors... I've got auburn wacko hair.
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: I'm going to ignore this question.
076: You believe in reincarnation: Yes, with the right spells and words, tada! You can bring back the love of your life :)
077: You believe in Aliens: I do! But I can't imagine them looking any different from human's themselves. I think that we're aliens to another suit of humans, in a different time. Ya catch me? I don't go with the whole green alien thing, or the flying UFO's... heheh no.
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PRESSED THE RED BUTTON!"
079: Does true love exist: Of course... *grin*
080: How many kids would you like to have: Well, I don't want to have kids now, but when I grow up... about 2 or 3.
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: People who think that others are lower than dirt, even though it's them that's the low person. And the people who have something really good to say but never say it!! The people who don't stand up and speak for what human's call right, and let people trample all over them emotionally and physically. The one's who think they're low, when they're not.
082: Best feeling: Any kind of loving gesture, like your parents giving you a kiss on the forehead for no reason.
083: Worst feeling in the world: I agree with [Stargirl] on this: Realizing you caused somebody pain when you didn't mean to.
084: What are you afraid of: Not being able to die. Sharks. Motorcycles.
085: Are you an emotional person: Very emotional.
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: No... my being an emotional-person only goes to real life things.
087: Your goal in life: Travel the world and save as many people as I can. And being the best mom.
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: To be more determined for what I want and what others need.
089: Favorite art-artist: I will have to saaaaaaaaaaaaay... I don't know lol.
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: If I were to be one... then a Siberian Tiger with the powers to talk :P
Question 91 is non-existant.
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: Uh, that's a no-no. I won't ask the guy to marry me, he's got to ask ME to marry HIM. I'm an old fashion girl, okay? :P And it would have to be something original. No asking me in a restuarant, that's too cliche.
093:What do you think of Elftown: It's great, but I wish the Elftown guards wouldn't mess with you. Like, you're supposed to get a friendly notice when they're going to take down your picture, but this one guy didn't. He just gave my friends something and then took it down when it was something that we made.
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: Not that I know of. I wish they would make delete buttons for the message things though, cuz I'm at like 175 pages of messages here!
095: Where did you get this question list: I stole it from [Stargirl] mwhahahaha!
096: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: Elfwood... word document... MSN...

Quotes... cuz I'm bored:
"I'll carry your love in a pocket on my heart..."
"Mourning Dove - You can't understand... I can't cry... These shadows really hate me..."
"There's only so much I can take, but the pain is something I welcome."
"You're hurting me..."
"Sometimes I wish for the worst. Just because it brings that pleasing pain to your face."
"Curiousity didn't kill the cat. It tortured and tore its soul up slowly."

Wow, only like 20 more days left of school... that's so cool!!!! 3 more Mondays, a bunch of other days, and then a few Fridays, and then off to high school I am! YAYAYAYAY!!
I feel thoughtful but I don't really have anything meaningful to say. Not today, anyway.
Mmm... cherry poptarts taste gooood...

I don't really know what to say to any of you... But really, I always knew that no one was perfect. But today... it sort of just panged on me, that no one is really perfect. I mean... you could be pretty, and smart, and sweet... but there's always that fault. Like being self-conscious, or being afraid of something silly, or not being able to speak up and stand for what you believe in.
I know that I'm not perfect, and, in truth, I don't want to be either. And I don't want to meet anyone who is perfect, because, as Mitul put very well, it's the faults in a person that makes them interesting. It's the fact that we all don't agree with each other that gets us talking. Plus, what is perfect anyway? There's always that perfect someone, they are so perfect to you that it's unbelievable, and you seem so perfect to them in the same loving way. But to other people, you both may seem like oddballs... to me, that's all right, and I accept it.
But, as I said, I don't really know what to say to any of you. We all have our faults. Instead of mocking them and wishing them away, we should be thankful we even have them because those are the things that keep us interesting to other people.
So really... everyone is beautiful in their own way. Whether it be on the inside or the out. I know and wish that I, and everyone else, were perfect on both sides. And in a way... we all are.

Ehhh... I was sick for four days... and I have so much schoolwork that I feel totally horrible about it... I just can't find any time to work on it... I'm trying really hard, and I hope that my teachers can see that. I'm not slacking like my mother may think I am. Mainly I'm using my computer time fr research *but me just can't stay away from Elftown either* for this Career Unit thing... I'm so far behind in that class it's not even funny. Well, if anyone has written and published any books, contact me :P

I don't UNDERSTAND IT!!! Why is it when I tell people I'm agnostic, they go all out of their way to tell me that God loves me, that all I have to do is freaking SACRAFICE MYSELF TO HIM?!?!?!?! I WON'T, I've ALREADY dealt with ENOUGH pain for all the people in the world, WHY CAN'T THEY JUST EXCEPT THAT FACT THAT I, EMILY LYNN MCDURMAN, DOES NOT BELIEVE IN GOD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

EVERYONE is different, and NO ONE can turn me to the face of God again, he turned his back and I've turned mine!! I go by scientific facts. I don't believe that God made the world. Because then who created God? God couldn't have created himself, he has to have parents. Otherwise our reproduction system would be different and we'd have people making themselves all over the place!
And if God DID exist, then why, if suddenly he shows himself to Adam and Eve, but as time goes by, won't let anyone else see him, and totally loses contact?? WHO EVEN WROTE THE BIBLE FOR GOODNESS SAKES?? Men who came in contact with God? Well, if that's so, why aren't people continuing to write the bible? Why, why, why, why, why? I want answers based on fact, not religious myths!!
I agree though, that the bible holds some truth to the world we live in. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I've accepted him as my savior. WHY CAN';T THOSE PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE??
Give God your mind, body, and soul, give him your faith and your love... that's what they say. Well, I'm sorry for being so stubborn, but my mind, body, faith, love, and soul only goes to my "one and only" and to no one else. And I'll spend eternity in Heaven or Hell waiting for that person. Because in fate, we shall meet.

No, really. If you comment, I'll love you forever. *Oh My God, my mom gave me that line to cut my hair O_o she still hates me -_-*

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU...

Okay... I'm like not getting enough traffic on my Elfwood page to satisfy my desires and fill my tummy. Please comment... it's worth your time *looks at oo wiv big bloo eyes and one vewy big bloo teaw*

http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/libr/e/m/emotion/emotion.html

I love you.

Okay, so my laptop got a virus and the cirus ate everythng and now I hate it so let it die and it was a bad laptop to begin with and I hate laptops sooooo much cuz they can like give you third degree burns man. And so now I have this other computer, but it has a chari and the right coloring so I like it and I can see all these awesome Kenshin pictures cuz I love, love, love Kenshin, and of course you know when you watch too much Kenshin when suddenly you find yourself attacking people with a stick like a sword and screaming as you come tumbling down on them: HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!
But... yeah okay NEVER MIND.

HIII KATIE WENT TO THE CONCERT BUT TOOK SOME GUY INSTEAD OF ME!!! SHE;S SUCH A BIIITCH!! BYYYEEE!!

My compy brokeded :(

I'll write what I can when I get my Internet back.... O_o

So like... Here's a message I got:

From: [Vladmir Hajduski] (strategic)
To: Emily (ThoseLittleThings TakeTheBiggestPartOfMe)
Sent: 2003-04-06 19:22:38
Comment in 409849

Yes you do look weird.It looks like you beat Jordan up and then smiled for the camera.

Debate went fine.
Today sucked.
At school, some girl gave Harrison Norwood *this totally mean and ... ugh rude guy* head in the bathroom which is really gross, and all that caused a fight between two people, and then they fought and then people standing around cheered and stuff. But unfortunately that meant that the lesson the school had planned for the kids with no inferalls (no bad marks or anything), had to be cancelled. So none of my classes were cut short thanks to those idiots.
And then I came home and Katie was on the computer when it was my time but I could deal with that so I gave her a couple of hours. Then when my turn came and I asked her for her headphones she said no, I asked why and she said something that offended me so I started to chase her and she locked herself in the bathroom where I couldn't beat the shit out of her.
It went a little like this:

Emily: *bashing on the door* JUST LET ME HAVE THE HEADPHONES!
Katie: No!
Emily: WHY NOT!?!?!?!?
Katie: BECAUSE!
Emily: *BASH BASH BASH* JUST GIVE ME THE DANG HEADPHONES!!

~And it kinda went on like this for awhile until...~

Emily: STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH KATIE! *from my mouth I was a little stunned myself*
Katie: ...
Emily: *starts walking away to call Mom* *calls Mom. Grabs other headphones*
Katie: *mumbles something Emily hardly hears as Emily walks off*
Emily: Oh FUCK OFF!
Yep.

Bored bored bored bored bored... Gah WHO READS THIS STUFF??? Hmm... I have to go to debate yesterday and tomorrow is Brent's birthday and I feel really lonely right now.... really, really lonely... :( I miss my pookie... :(

My nose is bleeding... it's lightened up in the last twenty minutes but my mom wants to kee my home! But I want to go to school!!!!!! :'(

Oh yay! Guess who Katie decided to take to Linkin Park? Me... I was really, really, really surprised but for some reason Katie has been a lot nicer to me, so now we're not on as bad as "terms" with each other anymore.
But to better things...
Math is odd for me, last week we had a bunch of tests and I didn;t do so well even though I know the material! But oh well, I will do better next time!
And ... erm... debate team is really getting better! I'm a little more interested now, and since I get to start missing fifth (P.E.) and a bunch of days... mwhahahah! THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE! ...just give me a few hours...
What else is there?!?!? OH MY GOSH... LIKE NOTHING! CEPT FOR THE NEW LINKIN PARK CD CAME OUT AND I AM OBSESSED ABOUT THEM AGAIN!!!!! AND I HAD WHIPPED CREAM FOR LUNCH SO I AM HYPER AND SOOOOOOOONNN ENOUGH I WILL BE AT HOME TAKING A NAP WHILE ON ELFTOWN TALKING TO MY DAD AND PLANNING MY SUMMER VACATION AND I JUST CAN'T WAIT MAN!

Okay, now I am going to just go around and ask people for stupid relations like I normally do, I'll see you all later!

False alarms and truths...



Katie got her Linkin Park tickets. First balcony, second row. Right by the stage.

WHOOO!! I AM STILL REALLY HAPPY!! WHAT A GRETA DAY EVEN THOUGH IT'S GRAY LIKE MY EYES AND MY... well my pants and coat. Lol.
ANYWAY! I AMMMM SOOOO happy whenever I listen to techo of any kind! Mostly Happy Hardcore though... WHOOOOOOO!!! I got nothing to say really cept for my dream was sooooo weird tonight! I NEED A DIARY TO WRITE THIS STUFF IN! A PRIVATE ONE!
Whoo!! I dunno what to put here... oh my God!!!
So I'm on the Mock Debate team and I have to take lots and lots of notes and stuff and I'm really busy with that and then we have the yearbook deadline coming up, and then there's Science which... GAAAAH is killing me! And then there's.... erm... well all that homework and stuff, but because of the debate thing I get to miss a whole essay that I get full credit for anyway!!
And then once the debate team stops I'm going to be (*hopefully*) one of the editors for the literale magazine!!!!! BUT IT'S NOT FAIR because Remelisa and I volunteered to do it before the teacher even FINISHED talking about it, but when she said "If you get on the team I"ll give you a gift." THEN LIKE HALF THE CLASS RAISED THEIR HANDS THE LITTLE... GRRR IT MAKES ME TO ANGRY!!!! I'm definitely going to talk to the teacher about it.
Anyway...

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

Finally I talked Mom out of getting Katie those LP tickets so now neither one of us is going...

Anyway... to better things...
I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!!!!!! ^__________^ AND I UPLOADED A NEW PICTURE TOOO!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!
It's in black and white because it's a picture that I uploaded from school, which is a picture that's going to be put in the yearbook. In the yearbook staff thingy... they only took that picture because they needed to get rid of the room!!!!!!
I know my eyebrows look so weird and I am so sorry -- but my eyebrows really don't look like that O_o and my hair is a mess, I remember coming into the class and getting ready cuz I was late and it was windy and rainy and stuff and they were like, "Emily, come take this picture with Jordan!!!" So I did it, I apologize for the ugliness too ^_^ I'm not much to look at...
BUT ISN'T JORDAN SO PRETTY?!?!?! She has to prettiest smile doesn't she?? ^_^ And she sooooooooo nice!!!!!! And she's funny! And smart ^_^ she's soo awesome!!!
I love her "I <3 nerds shirt" ;)
So... that's kinda me. In a way. I actually kind of like that picture, just the way it's posed. Sorry that I'm not smiling much, I was just so tired and Jordan's smile just drowns me out anyway ^_^ I loooove that shirt though!! The one I was wearing. It's really soft and fuzzy, and it was baby blue and it really made my eyes turn grayish blueish greenish lol. I was thinking about making it back to color and just put my eyes up but I decided not to...
My sorries go to Gray Ghost whose picture had to be taken down in order to put that up. I am so sorry :(

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY EVERYONE!

Was happy when I got home... but then Mom made me look for tickets to LP.
For Katie.
The ONE concert I would give ANYTHING for... and she won't take me... Katie doesn't even like Linkin Park!

THIS IS SO NOT FUC|<ING FAIR! I HATE MY ENTIRE FAMILY AND I ALWAYS WILL!