[Tigers and Trees]'s diary

859104  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-10-03
Written: (6626 days ago)
Next in thread: 859109

I should play Windwaker, but... too busy doing homework.

Cheers to essays. I'm so damn lazy.

858268  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-10-01
Written: (6628 days ago)
Next in thread: 858279

I had a dream that I got to eat a caramel cheesecake drink from Black Tie.

I think I'm getting addicted.

I woke up at 8, and went back to bed until 2. It felt goooood. Played my game and got some experience (whoo!). But now I'm bored. I feel like going out tonight, but... I'm not sure.

Perhaps I'll go to real soda tomorrow. Maybe call up Krystal or find someone who wants to go...

857935  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (6629 days ago)
Next in thread: 857938, 858210

Boo. So incredibly bored.

So... bored...

850613  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-08
Written: (6650 days ago)

[The Taste of Ink !]... lighten up on the makeup. You're 13, not 30. You have natural beauty.

Lighten on the eyeliner. Please, you'll save some of the environment AND you'll be doing yourself a favor.

846913  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-31
Written: (6658 days ago)
Next in thread: 847105

Lyndee
Lythea
Kirrh
Antonius


835416  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-08-07
Written: (6682 days ago)

Put an x for all the things you have
done:
[ ] been drunk.
[ ] smoked pot.
[X] kissed a member of the same sex.
[ ] rode in a taxi.
[x] been dumped.
[ ] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[x] been in a fist fight. (Only playful)
[ ] made out with a stranger.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[_] celebrated new years in times square.
[_] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend. (I don't pride myself on it.)
[ ] had a crush on a teacher
[ ] been to Europe.
[x] skipped school.
[ ] thrown up from drinking.
[x] lost your sibling
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[x] been cheated on.
[x] had a car. (truck, technically)
[x] drove.


Do you...
[x] have a boyfriend.
[ ] have a girlfriend.
[ ] have a crush.
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[x] feel happy.
[ ] hate yourself.
[ ] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[x] listen to soul.
[x] listen to techno.
[x] listen to reggae.
[ ] paint your nails.
[ ] have more than 1 best friend.
[ ] get good grades.
[ ] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[x] wear boxers.
[ ] wear eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color yellow.
[x] cyber.
[?] claim.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[x] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.


Are you...
[ ] ugly.
[ ] pretty.
[x] ok.
[x] bored.
[x] happy.
[x] short.
[ ] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] lazy.
[ ] talking to someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[x] sleepy.
[ ] on the phone.
[x] in your room.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[x] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[x] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] allergic to Seanbean
[ ] Viggo-fan
[ ] afraid of vikings
[x] afraid of horny vikings
[ ] afraid of spiders
[ ] dance in the rain
[x] have a stuffed animal
[ ] play magic
[x] know music that turns you on
[ ] Skype a lot?


Is there...


[x] a dead body nearby?
[ ] a crucifix on your wall
[ ] posters of guys on your wall
[ ] posters of girls on your wall
[x] water nearby


Do you dig...


[x]Men
[ ]Women
[ ] Vikings
[ ] Elves
[x] Rangers
[ ] Bikers
[x] Succubi
[x] Incubi
[x] Older
[ ] Younger
[ ] Your pretty cute aragorn actionfigure (Ew.)

831620  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-07-29
Written: (6692 days ago)


( Astrological sign? ) Gemini
( Chinese zodiac sign? ) Snake
( Location ) Up your ass and around the corner.
( Birth Location ) Sane Jose, California.
( Sexual Preference ) Male.
( Marital Status ) Involved.
( Current Hair color ) Auburn.
( Eye color ) Blue, green, or grey. They change colors randomly.
( Height ) 5'0
( Weight ) 100lbs, been that way for nearly 4 years.
( Parents still together? ) Nah.
( Siblings? ) Youngest of one other.
( Nieces/Nephews? ) Nope, none yet.
( Kids of your own? ) I would hope not.
( Grandkids? ) Nah.
( Pets? ) None.
( In school/graduated? ) Senior in highschool.
( Rent, lease, or own your home? ) Not yet.
( What do you do for work? ) Looking for a job, currently a student.
( How much do you make? ) 0.00 an hour.
( Have any credit cards? ) Just one, a Mastercard.
( AmEx? ) Nah.
( Can I use em for a few days? ) Noo.
( What do you drive? ) A 1996 Ford Ranger. Lapis.
( Black and White/Color ) Both.
( Black/White ) Both.
( Red/Blue ) Blue.
( Dogs/Cats ) Dogs.
( Roses/Daisies ) Neither.
( Beer/Liquor ) Liquor.
( Boxers/Briefs ) .Briefs.
( Hair: Short/Long ) Short for boys. Long for me.
(Boots/Shoes ) Stell-toed boots for boys.
( Food: Mexican/Italian ) Italian. I like pasta far more than nachos.
( Dark/Light ) Light.
( Day/Night ) Day.
( City/Country ) Both.
( Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ) Solid.
( Sub/Dom ) Either or.
( Color ) Lapis.
( Animal ) Tiger or Swan.
( Vehicle ) Ford.
( Flower ) Rover Daisy.
( Soda ) Sprite.
( Food ) Ice cream.
( Book ) His Dark Materials Trilogy.
( Author ) Philip Pullman.
( Band ) The Ataris, Fall Out Boy.
( Song ) Boys of Summer, Animals.
( Movie ) Meh.
( Director ) Shayalaman.
( Country ) US of A.
( School Subject ) Angrish.
( Movie genre ) Whatever might look good.
( Extracurricular Activity ) Newspapers.
( Color your hair? ) No.
( Have tattoos? ) Nah.
( Piercing? ) Ears. Formerly navel.
( Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? ) Boyfriend.
( Floss daily? ) Yes.
( Own a webcam? ) No.
( Ever get off the damn computer? ) Yep.
( Quack? Quack quack? ) Moo.
( Gotten a speeding ticket? ) Not yet.
( Been in a wreck? ) Never.
( Been arrested? ) No.
( Stolen a car? ) Not technically.
( Stolen anything? ) No. But I have used stolen condoms before.
( Smoke? ) No.
( Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ) No drinking here.
( Considered a life of crime? ) Yes.
( Considered being a hooker? ) Ohh yeah.
( Maybe a pimp? ) Nah.
( Cheated on someone? ) Yes.
( Been married? ) Technically three times.
( Been divorced? ) Yes, once.
( Are you psycho? ) I hope.
( Split personalities? ) No.
( Schizophrenic? ) The voices say I'm not.
( Obsessive? ) Yes.
( Compulsive? ) Yes.
( Obsessive Compulsive? ) No. No. Yes. Yes.
( Panic? ) A lot.
( Anxiety? ) A lot.
( Depressed) Not often.
( Suicidal? ) No.
( Cheated/Cheat ) Yes.



1. Smoked a cigarette: Nope
2. Smoked a cigar: Nope
3. Snorted coke: No.
4. Smoked Weed: Disgusting, no.
5. Been high: No.
6. Had sex: Yes.
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone: If you haven't, you're missing out.
8. Tried to kill someone: Yes.
9. Tried to kill yourself: Maybe?
10. Got in a fist fight: Not one of the non-playful nature.
11. Lied to your parents: Yes, who doesn't at one point?
12. Broken a bone: No.
13. Lied to your friends: Yes.
14. Bit someone: Roar.
15. Bungee jumped: Not yet.
16. Skydive: Not yet.
17. Gotten drunk: No drinking.
18. Gotten totally smashed: No.
19. Given someone a bruise: I give more than bruises.
20. Skinny-dipped: Yes.
21. Driven illegally: Yes, I broke a few laws in my day.
22. Ditched someone: Yes.
23. Freak danced: Yes.
24. Stole something: No.
25. Cut yourself: Not on purpose.
26. Skipped school: Yes.
27. Hung up on someone: Yes.
28. Gone commando: Yes. Not pleasant for a girl.
29. Threw up at school: No.
30. Kissed someone of the same sex: Yes.
31. Had a burping contest: Yes.
32. Snuck out: Yes.
33. Been to a school dance: Eh, yeah. Ew.
34. Thought your teacher was hot: ... No.



!*~~*! Love !*~~*!
1) Do you believe in love: Yes.
2) Do you believe in love at first sight? No.
3) Are you too shy to ask someone out: No. I lost a potential boyfriend because I was scared. I vowed never to be like that again.
4) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: Anthony.
5) Have you ever actually truly honestly been in love before?: I'd like to say so.



1) Boys names(kids): Adonis, Anthony, William.
2) Girls names(kids): None chosen.
3) Subjects in school: English
4) Game(s): Zelda.
5) Cartoon character: Superman.
6) Cartoon? Fosters Home of Imaginary Friends.
7) What’s your favorite thing to do on a weekend? Party.
8) Drink? Water.
9) Cookie?: Mmmm.
10) Day of the week? Saturday.
11) Word or phrase? That which yields is not always weak.
12) Restaurant? Olive Garden.
13) Flower? Rover Daisy.
14) Sport to play?: Softball.
15) Ice cream? Always.



!*~~*! Have you ever !*~~*!
1) Made out with someone? Yes.
2) How many people have you made out with? Nine.
3) Set a body part on fire, for the fun of it? Ha, no.
4) Planned your life around the internet?: Sometimes it happens that way.
5) Gone in public wearing no underwear? Yeah.
6) Swallowed a penny? No.
7) Seen a ghost? Maybe?
8) Ate dirt? Yep.
9) Sucked a bug up your nose? No!
10) Got caught stealing? No.
11) Been to Africa? No.
12) Been toilet papering? No.
13) Been in a car accident? No.
14) Mooned someone? Yes.
15) Been so drunk you passed out? No.
16) Gone out in your pajamas? yes.
17) Missed school because it was raining? Yes.
18) Kept a secret from someone? Yes.
19) Wanted to hook up with a friend? No.
20) Sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches?: Sprained some fingers once.
21) Almost died: No.
22) Given anyone a bath: Yes. I have. And not any kids, either.
23) Bungee jumped: No.
24) Broken the law: Yes, a few.
25) Made yourself throw-up: Only when I was sick and I knew it'd make me feel better. Pepto Bismol did the rest. I had the motivation to drink it.



!*~~*! Just Some Questions !*~~*!
1) Where is your favorite place to shop?: Book stores generally.
2) Any tattoos or piercing: My ears. My navel was formerly pierced.
3) Do you do drugs: No.
4) What kind of shampoo do you use: Anything available.
5) What are you most scared of?: Being alone.
6) What car do you wish you had: A black 2005 Ford Mustang. Or a 1967 Chevrolet Bel-Air. Midnight blue, white interior with baby blue trim and dash, and a white trim on the outside with shiny chrome and new rims and big wheels.
7) Who is the last person that called you: Jarrod.
8) Where do you want to get married: In a circus tent.
9) If you could change anything about yourself you'd change: My waist.
10) What is the last movie you saw a a movie theature: Miami Vice. Worst. Movie. Ever.
11) What do you have for breakfast in the morning?: Waffles.
12) Who would you hate being locked up in a room with?: My family. Any one of them.
13) Who would you love being locked in a room with?: Any one of my friends.
14) What super hero would you be?: Batman.
15) What are you wearing right now?: Jeans, Nintendo T-shirt. Shoes, sketchers.
16) If you could be any where in the world, where would you be?: With that special someone.
17) Make up a word and a meaning to go with it: Eck.
18) Do you have any imaginary friend?: Yes.
19) What do you want most out of life? To be happy.
20) Who do you hate the most? A few people.
21) If you had the choice to be a cartoon, who would you be?: Bloo.
22) List a word you think sounds funny: Animosity.
23) What are the last 4-digits in your number: 2512
24) If you were a crayon what color would you be: Lapis.
25) What makes you happy: Freedom.
26) What sport do you hate the most: Football.
27) How many TV's do you have in your house: Just one.
28) Do you sleep with stuffed animals: No. I have a blanket. He's better than a stuffed animal.
29) Who do you tell your dreams to: My journal.
30) How much do you love your job on a scale of 1 to 10? Depends on the job I choose to do.
31) What color is your bedroom carpet? White.
32) How many times did you fail your drivers test? Didn't fail it at all.
33) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Any mall.
34) What do you do most often when you are bored? Read.
35) Most annoying thing people ask or tell you? "How old are you?"
36) What is the best thing about the opposite sex? Hands, shoulders, eyes, and lips.
37) Who makes you happiest of the opposite sex? David.
38)Who makes you the maddest of the opposite sex? Jarrod.
39) What's the stupidest thing you have ever done? Answered this.

819870  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-06
Written: (6715 days ago)

Dial-up on this laptop sucks. I can't seem to sign into any IMs, I'm bored, this connection is slow as hell, aaand I've been puking my guts up for the last day and a half.

Yeehaw.

813157  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-23
Written: (6727 days ago)

Yay, new sexy laptop.

It's so shiny and... sleek. And pretty.

Until Dad touched the screen -brandish fists-

811982  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-21
Written: (6729 days ago)
Next in thread: 812177

To Spokane:

Thanks for the happy birthday. I *really* appreciate it.

Screw this... I'm staying in Oklahoma.

789220  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-08
Written: (6773 days ago)
Next in thread: 789441, 791258

/) /)
( . .)
C(")(")

788479  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-05-06
Written: (6775 days ago)

I can't remember where I left my FOB CDs and it's making me cry! I want to listen to them :(. And Lizzie wants to burn them. <_<

788038  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-05-05
Written: (6777 days ago)

homophobia
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a
lesbian.



I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire
a transsexual woman.



I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight
through the painful, tear-filled nights.



We are the parents who buried
our daughter long before her time.



I am the man who died alone in the
hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the
room.



I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish
they could adopt me.



I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the
attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will
probably be able to walk again.



I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed
myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to
bear.



We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.



I am the person who
never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the
management called on me.



I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit
the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.



I am the domestic-violence
survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they
found out my abusive partner is also a woman.



I am the domestic-violence
survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.



I am the
father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection
to other men.



I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach
gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.



I am the woman who
died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was
transsexual. (yes, this actually happened: read more)



I am the person who
feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to
always deal with society hating me.



I am the man who stopped attending
church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my
kind.



I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most,
love.



Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.

786709  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-02
Written: (6779 days ago)
Next in thread: 787068, 787911

How come every time I log in, I have like 7 messages sent from me to me saying "Happy birthday Fucker!!!" in like font type H1??

... it hurts my feelings. :(

772042  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-01
Written: (6810 days ago)


LYING IS THE MOST FUN A GIRL CAN HAVE WITHOUT TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF

Well Is it still me that makes you sweat?
am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Well Then think of what you did. And I hope to God he was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as you're fingers touch your skin.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch...a better fuck
than any boy you'll ever meet. Sweetie you had me.
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? no no no you know it will always just be..me

Let's get those teen hearts beating. Faster faster!

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls:
will you dance to this beat- and hold a lover close?

Now I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus!
In case I lost my train of thought where was it that we last left off ?
lets pick up pick up
Oh now I do recall, we just were getting to the part...
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
Well then think of what you did. and how I hope to god he was worth it
For that I'm very sorry love... and though you may have butchered us...
I sure hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
(besides) did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

Panic! At The Disco

759100  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-06
Written: (6836 days ago)

I hope you choke on those lips that kiss that bottle.

I said I loved you, but I lied.

754898  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-02-26
Written: (6844 days ago)
Next in thread: 754900

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind. (Quite possibly true.)
When a boy is quiet,
His mind is blank, or he is thinking about sex, or possibly football.

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply. (Probably true.)
When a boy is not arguing,
He is either not thinking of anything, or thinking about sex, or planning a counter-argument.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you'll be around. (Possibly true.)
When a boy looks at you with eyes full of questions,
He is wondering what the hell you’re talking about.

When a girl answers, ‘I'm fine.’ after a few seconds,
She is not fine at all. (Very probably true.)
When a boy answers, ‘I'm fine.’ after a few seconds,
He is probably still fine.

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying. (Could be. Or maybe she is just gazing in admiration at your handsome visage.)
When a boy stares at you,
He is trying to avoid staring at your breasts; or trying to look convincingly honest, or wondering with dread what you’re about to say.

When a girl lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever. (Probably true.)
When a boy lies on your chest,
He is thinking what wonderful things breasts are, and why people can’t distinguish between the transitive verb ‘to lay’ and the intransitive verb ‘to lie’.

When a girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking your attention. (Very probably true.)
When a boy calls you everyday,
He is dangerously possessive.

When a girl says, ‘I love you,’
She means it. (Very likely true.)
When a boy says, ‘I love you,’
He may or may not mean it, but he is saying it because he knows you need reassurance.

When a girl says that she can’t live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future. (Probably true.)
When a boy says that he can’t live without you,
He is either lying in the hope of having sex with you, but if he means it then he’s dangerously neurotic, and possibly a psychopath.

When a girl says, ‘I miss you,’
No one in this world can miss you more than that. (Almost certainly true.)
When a boy says, ‘I miss you,’
He may mean it, or he may be trying to make you feel better.

When a girl says, ‘No,’
She means no. (True if the question is ‘Do you want to have sex?’; not necessarily true if the question is ‘Would you like me to spend a lot of money on your birthday present?’)
When a boy says, ‘No,’
He means no.

746334  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-02-09
Written: (6861 days ago)
Next in thread: 746395

All right. After about 4 years of thinking, I believe I have finally come up with the type of tattoo I would like.

It will be a celtic tribal tattoo of a sun, and it will be placed on my inner left wrist. I know these aren't cut in half, but it is amazingly hard to find a sun tattoo design that's celtic and... not whole. But since I have to wait and keep thinking about it, I've got time to work something out.

Oh, and it's a little obsessive... but it's supposed to be a half-sun for sunset. You know... Fall Out Boy's, "Got a sunset in my veins." I just love that line for some reason...

"Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year" - Fall Out Boy,  Chorus and plus some.

"Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out.
Take our tears and put 'em on ice,
'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light.

There's a drug in the thermostat to warm the room up,
And there's another around to help us bend your trust,
Got a sunset in my veins!
And I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay."

And I MIGHT get another one on my inner right wrist, but we will see how that plays out.

I'd like to add color to it, though. Black's too boring. Perhaps blue fading to yellow? Hm. I tend to like those colors.


Anyway!

<img:http://www.writersco.com/img/photo/252_1139526180.jpg>


<img:http://www.writersco.com/img/photo/252_1139526211.jpg>


<img:http://www.writersco.com/img/photo/252_1139526236.jpg>



And special thanks to tattoosnow.com. :D. And Google.

If I could get a piece of metal shoved through my belly button (layers of skin, tissue, and fat), and not cry, I'm sure I can handle the pain of a small tattoo.
745502  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-02-08
Written: (6863 days ago)
Next in thread: 751384

Bad [Hedda], BAD!

NO breaking the world!

737625  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-01-24
Written: (6878 days ago)


IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU

1. Bought something: Yes
2. Gotten sick? No
3. Been hugged? Yes
4. Been kissed: Yes
5. Felt stupid: Yes
6. Talked to an ex: Yes
7. Missed someone: Yes
8. Got drunk: No
9. Gotten high: No
10. Danced crazy: Yes, Fall Out Boy, in the shower.
11. Gotten your hair cut: Nope.
12. Watched cartoons: Yes
13. Lied: Yes
14. Fallen in love? Yes
15. Fallen out of love? Yes and no.

U N I Q U E

1. Nervous habits? Chewing lips.
2. Are you double jointed? Nope.
3. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? Yes
5. Can you cross your eyes? Yes
6. Do you make your bed daily? Yes... sometimes.
7. Do you think you are unique? Yes, just like everyone else.

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said I love you and meant it: Yes.
2. Given money to a homeless person: Yes

M A N N E R S
1. Do you swear? When I’m angry.
2. Do you ever spit? Nope
3. You cook your own food? Yeah
4. You do your own chores? Yes
5. Did you get laid today? Yes...terday.
6. You like beef jerky? Heck yes.
7. You like Pepsi or Coke? Neither, pop is evil.
8. You're happy with your hair? sometimes.
9. You own a dog? Yeah and I hate him.
10. You spend your money wisely? Yes.
11. You're always making new friends? Sure.
12. You like to swim? Yes
13. When you get bored do you call a friend? Yes
14. You're patient? Sometimes

D O Y O U P R E F E R
1. flowers or angels? Flowers
2. gray or black? Black
3. Color or black and white photos? Depends on the subject.
4. sunrise or sunset? Sunset
5. M&Ms or Skittles? Skittles, more fun to chew and they make a popping sound.
6. rap or rock? Rock
7. staying up late or waking up early? Waking up early.

D O Y O U P R E F E R
1. being hot or cold? Hot
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. left or right: Right
4. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends: 2 best friends
5. rain or sun? Sun
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Vanilla
7. boys or girls? Boys
8. Vodka or jack? Vodka.

736561  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-01-22
Written: (6880 days ago)
Next in thread: 736570

I'm having a really hard time boosting my energy. Ryan came over and refused to be hugged or kissed. He looked pale.

And then he dumped me.

Nearly 6 months together and suddenly, "You bore me, goodbye." I knew our relationship would not last that long, but the reasons why he dumped me... Because I'm 16, because I have no car, no job, because I was so in love with him. Because he didn't feel the same.

Well, SORR-EE for wasting your fucking time.

He had me -- ALL of me -- my time, a good fucking portion of my money, my virginity, my love, my happiness... and then I bore him. Then I am too selfish. Then I am too wrapped up in 'my' life... well, sweet baby, my life was yours too.

Makes me sound like I'll be 16 forever. Maybe I will, just to piss him off.

... I still want him back.




Well, Ryan and I talked online yesterday. I requested my stuff in a box left on my porch before I got home from school (though I didn't go to school), but he never showed up and I have not had the chance to talk to him again.

We did talk last night, though. Basically it was, "I don't understand why I did it. I can't understand it." WELL... I asked him if he wanted to talk our problems out. He didn't, he dumped me, and now he does. Go figure. Before he left it was, "Can we talk tomorrow?" ... yes, but only if you give me my stuff back. Half my wardrobe is at his dorm, among movies, games, and my GC system.

I guess we weren't that good of a match, but I miss him.

Katie took me to the mall to be nice. We had dinner at Olive Garden and then we went and saw Family Stone. It was pretty good, but I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to. After that we went to try on dresses at Mariposa. I found one that I wanted very badly, and when Katie saw it, "Oh, what a beautiful prom dress." So much for a good self-esteem. Prom = date and I can't even hold on to a boyfriend.

Came home. Depressed, as usual. Tired, even though I was in bed till 2:30 in the afternoon. Ate some ice cream that I hated and ended up falling asleep. I woke up from a dream and spent about another hour vomitting.

I just feel so unhappy.
 The logged in version 

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